Cleopatra's Classified Column

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Run free, Coco Rose XXX

June 13th 2014 4:05 am
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Me and my Mummy hadn't been on here for ages, we just went in to compose a diary entry one day but we haven't been able to get in to see our friends' diaries. We were so shocked last night to see that our dear friend Coco Rose is running free at the rainbow bridge, Mummy is still crying and we're so sad that our lovely friend has left her Mummy Marilynn and brother Puffy. Thinking of you both XXX

 

I chased a cat and I liked it!

June 8th 2014 3:39 pm
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Words by Cleo Colton. Music by Katie Perry. Sing along!

I was around the back of of my house
Just doing my little wee wees
This little kitty just walked by
Struttin’ like a little queen bee
I had intended to be good
And just come back to Mummy
But you know what happened next
It was really kinda funny……

I chased a cat and I liked it
The sight of her scared ass disappearing
I chased a cat just to try it
I hope my Mummy won’t be too mad with me!
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
I’ll be laughing to myself all night!
I chased a cat and I liked it
I liked it!

That kitty cat was walking along the wall
Thinking she was something really great,
I was afraid that she might fall
So I was trying to protect her from her fate!
I just ran up to her and barked
Telling her of the dangers of that wall
She just ran off and what was I to do?
Would you not chase that kitty cat too?

I chased a cat and I liked it
The sight of her scared ass disappearing
I chased a cat just to try it
I hope my Mummy won’t be too mad with me!
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
I’ll be laughing to myself all night!
I chased a cat and I liked it
I liked it!

 

Drum roll required! Thank you for my birthday pressies!

April 2nd 2014 4:06 pm
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Oh wow! I got all dese great pressies for my birthday!! My Mummy calls me the April Fool. I have no idea what she means. Thank you all sooo much!

Abbie and family sent me a huge birthday hug! Thank you! I LOVES hugs!

Hobo sent me a gorgeous daffodil that I can't stop stickin' my nose into to smell! ATCHOO! BOL!

Hershey and Winkie sent me a pawsome cupcake! That is stored behind the clematis in the garden for later use! BARK! BARK! BARK! Get outta dere birdies!

I got a HUGE hunk o'cheese from my buddies Scooter, Misty, Mr. Cutter and Pepper! Yes, I got loads of choc drops on the day guys! The cheese is currently resting under my Mummy's pillow for a little more maturing, I will retrieve it at a later date! BOL!

I got a huge Big Hug from Zaidie. And Zaidie finally told me in his birthday message that he loves me ***SWOON*** THUD!

And I also got a Big hug from lovey Angel Petey! Miss you big guy! Love you! XXX

Thank you all! I had the most pawsome birthday! And you guys make it so special!

Love Cleo XXX

 

I am six today!

April 1st 2014 3:30 am
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Today is my birthday! I am so excited! Mummy and me had cuddles and belly rubs in bed. She has to do some stuff on her computer and then she's bringing me to the pet shop where I'm going to be allowed to pick a birthday present for myself!

Mummy said we can call over to Nana and Granddad's house later for a little birthday party for me! I must go now, I have NOTHING to wear! BOL!

Love Cleo XXX

 

Guarding my car!

March 31st 2014 7:14 am
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Earlier, my Mummy had to go up to the graveyard for a burial. So she told me to stay in the car and be a good guard dog. Anyway, I was jus' sittin' on the back seat taking my guard dog duties very seriously. Next thing my Nana came walking past. She stopped at our car and was calling my name through the window. Anyway, I can't be seen to be all yappy and waggly-tailed when I'm on guard dog duty. So I kinda turned my head around and stared in the opposite direction. That was to let my Nana know I was being all serious and a good guard dog. And what did my Nana do? She burst out LAUGHING at me!

My Nana seems to think it's funny that I have a serious, responsible job. Mummy and me called to Nana and Granddad's afterwards and Nana was still laughing when she was telling Granddad about my seriousness. But Granddad patted me on the head and told me what a good guard dog I am. See, he understands. He was in the Police so he probably understands that when one is on duty one can't let the guard down. That silly Nana of mine knows nuffin'!

 

My Nana is sooooooooooo mean!

March 26th 2014 3:28 pm
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Today, Nana and my Mummy went off and played golf and I was guarding Nana and Granddad's garden. As you probably know, the work is really ramping up with more and more birdies twittering and whittering in those trees! Then, Nana came back cos Mummy had stuff to do and she brought me for a walk. We went to a park where I found loads of great stuff to smell, found a nice private place to do my business and had a GREAT roll in the grass!

Anyway, my day was going along nicely and happily until we got back to Nana's house. All of a sudden, her nose was turned up in that funny human way and she was tut-tutting in a most disapproving way. Next thing I knew, I was out in the garden having that stinky tea tree doggie shampoo all over me! I tried barking to my Nana that the lovely smell I picked up during my rolling in the park is like the equivalent of that stinky stuff she sprays out of that bottle in her bedroom. But I think my Nana is a bit deaf in her dotage. And what did she do then? She told me to BE QUIET while she washed the lovely smell I picked up outta me! WHAT? These humans are soooooo stupid!!!!

 

Lá Fhéile Pádraig Sona do mo chairde go léir!

March 17th 2014 4:33 am
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That means happy St Patrick's Day to all my friends in the Irish language! Mummy and me aren't going to watch the parade this year cos I don't like all the noise, but I will be wearing my green scarf and badge later! BOL!

 

Cleo's birdy breakfast event!

February 13th 2014 3:31 am
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We had snow last night! Ok, this isn't snow of biblical proportions, just Irish snow. A small little flurry that froze over. If any snow sticks at all it's a major crisis here, BOL!

Mummy left some bird seed out on the garden table for the birdies. And I helped her by skidding around on the decking barking up at the birdies in the trees behind my house. COME AND GET IT! BREAKFAST IS SERVED! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!

Now I am sitting in my kitchen armed with my binoculars and Irish Wild Birds book, observing those birdies coming and going and writing little notes in my birdy book. I am a little disappointed at the number of no-shows for my birdy breakfast event though. Anyone would think those birdies were scared to come into my garden or sumfin'. Whatever.....................

 

Mummy's STINKY breath!

January 30th 2014 4:21 am
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When Mummy got up earlier, she went off doin' her groomin' stuff in da bathroom while I waited patiently. An' waited. An' waited. When she eventually came back, she bent down for a kissy and a cuddle. PHEW! WHAT A STINKY BREATH! Seriously, there was a deluge of stinky minty fumes makin' my lil' Cleopatra eyes water! What did I do to deserve dat? Why can't dese hoomans groom themselves properly? Why can't they have sweet smellin' breath like us doggies (and some of dem kittsies)?

I'll have to start leaving subtle hints. Like the odd bit of bacon in the bathroom. Or some doggie bikkies on the bed. Anything at all to make dat stinky breath better. I'm sure it will take a considerable amount of time to recover from this assault on my doggy senses!

 

My Mummy accused me of trying to KILL her!

January 26th 2014 1:56 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 9 people already have ]

My Mummy has accused me of trying to kill her! She put this exact post on her book of faces thingy today!

"I had a most undignified wake up earlier, finding my face somewhere under the hound's tail. I don't particularly want my death cert to contain the words "smothered", "dog" or "arse", thanks very much!"

First Mummy, I did not try to "smother" you. Besides, you are the hand that feeds me and I don't bite your hand cos I know on which side my bread is buttered.

Second, you know when you're lying in bed I like to snuggle up to you for warmth. I kinda reverse until I find you and then snuggle down against you. Well last night I went downstairs for a little drinky of water and I kinda got disorientated in the darkness and kinda reversed into your face. Sorry 'bout that but your fault cos there was no light on to guide my reversing an' stuff.

Third, I think it was really rude of you to jump up outta bed as suddenly as you did. You know I like to be woken up gently with cuddles and belly rubs. And the fright of something moving under my butt, especially on a Sunday morning - well I'm sure you can imagine I am still traumatised.

So the only way you can make this is up to me is:

1. Make a public apology to me on that book of faces of yours. I do have hooman friends too and my public reputation is very important to me!
2. Make a public apology to me on Dogster so I can be vindicated by my peers.
3. Buy a year's supply TOMORROW of Pedigree Dentastix, Choc Drops and rubber balls. Otherwise the consequences will be dire. I am looking for suggestions from my Dogster pupsie pals as to what your punishment might be before we have to stop doing our diary entries here (sob!)

 
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