There is a storm a 'comin'

I hear a Thunderstorm brewing. It is getting closer and closer. I am usually the one that alerts the family that a storm is near. I know before anyone, because I have amazing radar. My antennae are always working overtime, and this spring I have already detected two storms. I grab a baby from my lair, and I take it to my mom. I lie next to her with my huge bat ears aimed high at the sky.
My brother knows they are coming, too, but he doesn't really care. He is a snuggle bug, not a tweak.
I am going to go gather all of my babies, I need to make sure they are all hidden strategically around the house before it starts raining.

My birthday, and my fluffygay brother's birthday is this weekend. We are going to have a little party, yeah, a party. I think I am going to take all of the presents and hide them. Yeah, that will be fun. I will hide them, and guard them, and protect them.
Yeah, that is what I will do.
We are going to Aunt Laura's for the celebration, so I will have to case the joint before I hide anything. I want to make sure that curlyfuzzy white thing, my cousin Carolina, doesn't have access to any of my hiding spots. We all know what will happen to her if she sticks her little nose in my hiding spots. Yeah, we all know.
I am making a ton of noise tonight. My mom is about to kill me. I am being as annoying as possible, in anticipation of the squirrel hour. This time of year, it happens.
The squirrels invade my yard- the squirrels that look oddly like ME. They MUST be mine, they must be. They came from the little satchmopods I dropped out by my bush, in my outside cave. Each night, my mom lets me outside for my final inspection of the evening, and I see the squirrels everywhere. They are talking to me, but no one else can hear them. I know my Dad thinks I am crazy, I just know it, yeah.
Tonight, I will circle the yard, make sure it is ok for Mom and Dad and furrygay brother to make sleep for the night, and I will try to herd all the little satchmo's into my lair. I know I will be yelled at by my Dad though, so I won't get too much work accomplished, but I will still try.
For now, I will prepare by woofing under my breath and them, and nose whistling and whining and snorting and sniffing the air, searching for their traces. I will wait patiently and talk to them from inside the house,
waiting...
watching...

I smell a RAT!

A few days ago, I noticed a RAT in my house. It came late one Friday evening, and invaded my lair. Luckily, I happen to love the Rat, because it is my cousin and I grew up with it. Actually, I let it grow up with me. I decided early on to spare it because I have other plans for it. It entertains me; it keeps me on my toes. Like a tiger, I have to be on full alert when it is here. I have to engage all my senses and keep alert. The perimeter of my lair must be monitored closely. My brother is no help. He loves to play with it, likes to run around the yard and the house with it. Last night, it slept on my mom. I don't like that. Also, it came into my lair again this morning, while I was trying to recharge. I have to sleep with one eye open.

Jan 20,

More snow, snow snow snow...
It is hard for me to bark at things with so much snow out there, but I still do. For example, last night when my dad let me out for the witching hour, I barked at some monsters that were invading my territory.
This morning, when my mom let me out, I picked up traces of elk and moose droppings, but my mom insisted that it was most likely a racoon. I still think there is something out there though, like maybe a wolf or a jackal. I intend to find out tonight for sure, after all of the neighbors go to sleep. I will find them, I know I will, and when I do...
I have been showing my brother where to make big potty. It took him years to figure out the best place in the yard. The best spot is the big evergreen by the fence in the corner of the yard. No one can see you when you are hunching, and you can watch for moose and elk and intruders and aliens and monsters. It is the prime spot in the yard, very secluded.
I am going out again today. I love to go with my mom and my brother in the car. My mom pushes a button and this long, metallic monster attacks the back window. Sometimes it leaks when it attacks. I see one in the front, too, but I can't get to it. I try very hard to kill the one in the back, but it only attacks for a few seconds. I don't know what it is, or where it goes when it stops attacking, but I will find it, and when I do...