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expressive exuberance

oh boy frosty boy!

we went for a ride today, win we got deir mommy sed she was trustinme allbymyself she had to go make money to buy me bones. i was a good boy. we went to my school we were the only ones der where was eberyone? but i dinit freekout like las year wen dat happened. i didn't eben know we was going der today. we always go to my BONE stor first. oh boy din we were at FROSTY BOY! i dot my icecream cone, i wish dey were bigger, my mommy shared her favrite bite wis me, thats da bottom. she says that how i no she loves me, cause she woodnt share that wis jus anyone. the days a getting funner. i'ts all bouts the ball, i'm gonna have my daddy take a picture of "my ball". i had my cousins over the weeken. me an miss jackey brown n charlie black went for a long walk, we were was swaked when we dot home, all dat fresh air, i'm gwad my cousin charlie black dont hold no grudge, i wasn't berry nice to him las time ober a steak.

i was a bad puppy, so why was dey laffin at me

what happened wis me? i forgot everysing i no for a minute, but now i remember everysing. boy am i gwad i dinit forget everysing when mommy was home! my dramma n drampa n uncle edward n ant debbie n my cousin miss jackie brown spended da weekin wis me! n my ant charleene n uncle bob n udder drampa n da neighbours cross the stweet n der visiting gran baby labadoor n daddy n me was visitin outside. dont no what got in me i neber been in the neighbours house before, i not eben go outa the yard less mommys wis me. i rocketed like a jet, out my yard, thru der yard, in der door, der was a homing device placed to da baby laboudoors wunch bucket. i dont no, BUT THAT WUNCH BUCKET WAS CALLIN ME! no one else herd it, BUT I DID!!! daddy ran into der house n carried me out, i was squirmin to get back der. my ant debbie took picture of dat, and showd mommy. ebedence!, i was busted. mommy played ball wis me yesterday n da neighboors was outside, mommy sed " u eeven sink about it i'll give u a black eye", din she said "oh yea u got a black eye, so you eeven sink about it i'll give you another black eye" i didn't eben sink about it, an she kicked da ball agin an agin for me, and we lived happy eber after.

dirty little white boy

i don't wike my bath, i wike my bath. well i don't wike to dit in my bath, but din i git dabigscrubdown, an dat feels so good, an da big towl when i dit out dats fun. after dat i mellow out to da tunes of da blow dryer. my frens at cool scool gona need shades to wook at me tonite. my teecher ben workin me hard. she says i gettin to be a big boy. NOW mommy hides behind a tree, an cals me to her, an win we all git in a line an da mommys n daddys call der kids, my mommy dosen't call me till las. she was trickin me i fell for it a couple times, but no way, im trying not fallin fer dat no more. din one day, i wuv my teecher, she sed come here little boy i dot sum candy for u, darnit i was possta stay but i wuv my teecher.