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The Spice Grrl Speaks Out

My First Road Trip

Yesterday started normally. I pounced on Mom to wake her up so she would take me outside, and she rolled over with a mumble. I snuggled a bit and then hopped down to the floor and DEMANDED my breakfast. That sharp bark is enough to get Mom moving. Then, while Mom drank her coffee she hogged the computer and wouldn't let me access my favorite pages, so I snoozed. I heard keys frantically clicking but I dozed through it all.

Something sure lit a fire under Mom's Butt! She bounded off the couch and left. Yep, SHE LEFT ME. When she came home smelling of fluoride I was glad she hadn't taken me with her. This is when things got weird. She loaded the dog crates into the back of the car! Dawson was running around all excited, but I had no idea what was going on. When we went to Obedience class, she STUFFED me in the crate. I wasn't too sure about that, but nothing bad happened. Dawson was beside himself because as usual, we left him at home while I spend an hour conning treats from the poor slob trying to teach Mom and G'ma how to rule the roost. John, Buddy and I are Poodles. We rule the roost. There isn't any amount of training you can do that is going to change that one simple fact.

When we got back home, Mom had the zoomies! She stuffed food, clothes, and other essentials in bags, threw them all in the car, and then stuffed me back in the crate and Dawson into the other one. We were held captive for HOURS! Okay, only two actuallyy, and when we finally were released to go pee, whom did we encounter but Mimi, Molly, and Aunt Alyssa! I spent the next few hours wandering around being admired, petted, treated, and generally showing off my gorgeous self. I rocked that exposition hall. I owned it.

Then we all piled back into the cars, and I spent more time jammed in that crate. Now here is an interesting thing: There are really large houses that allow strange people and dogs to snuggle for the night. Odd, isn't it? Of course when the Moms left for dinner, I had to torment Mimi. I had to bark at the loud people in the hallway. It's my job, right? So why did Mom tell me people complained that I was too loud? And who knew Auntie Alyssa was such fun at night! Evertime she moved or made a noise, I had to go over and let her know I was willing to play!

Now, this is where things went bad. I got stuffed back into the crate early in the morning, and while Mom went back to the Expo, I sat in the car. And sat in the car. And sat in the car... We finally got moving, and what was my job for the next five hours? Sit in the crate in the car. Why on earth we stopped in the middle of nowhere, turned off the car, and sat quietly for and hour and a half I haven't the foggiest. Everyone was, so I guess it was some dumb human ritual to honor the snowfall. Oh well, even with the long trip home, I had a grand time. When's the next Road Trip, Mom?

Enough Said.

Mom dragged me into that little room where she tries to drown herself, and tried to drown me.

Public Service Annouuncement

I want to let every pup know that it is very very important to let your humans know they are loved. I have heard from Dawson that there are some humans who risk life and limb EVERY SINGLE DAY by standing under running water for minutes at a time. Do your pawrents do this? Attempt to drown themselves? I know it is only my concern for my Mommie that has her turning off the water and stepping out of the enclosure. I make sure I jump on her immediately to give her kisses and hugs - after all she was in there forever without me! AND SHE COULD HAVE DROWNED! Please, let your pawrents know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you care. Don't wait for them to dry off before you cover them with kisses! GO IMMEDIATELY!

And I don't even want to talk about what happened the other day. It was sooo scary. Mom filled a huge basin full of water - only this water bubbled. It frothed. It STANK! To my utter horror and amazement she then CRAWLED INTO THE WATER and stayed there forever! She was covered in froth, and when she stuck her toes out for me to nibble upon, they were covered in froth too! If they weren't, they tasted funny. Dawson didn't do anything - just lay there snoozing. When Mommie called him over, he went right up to her and got kisses and hugs. BUT HE ALSO GOT FROTH ON HIM! Well I checked that froth out pretty seriously, and it seemed harmless, but it stank and it cackled. Let me just tell you, I was all over Mommie when she finally decided not to let the strange froth dissolve her away to nothing.

Hug your pawrents. Protect them from the evils of close association with water...