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The Dog Side by Birney

Secret Word Of The Day: Allergy

Daddy came home late today and I hate when he does that. It's bad enough that he has to go to "work." But, daddy told me that he needs to work so that I can have my fill of Scooby Snacks. So, I guess I'll have to suck it up.

Anyway, He told me that he went to see some movie called "Elektra" with his cousin, my Uncle Rich. I used to think that Uncle Rich did not like me, but daddy explained that Uncle Rich is allergic to me. Apparently, I, and my other dog bretheren, make his throat swell up and he can't breathe. Can you imagine that? Anybody alergic to me? But, I guess I can understand it. I have the same kind of reaction everytime Uncle Dune does his sad clown routine. Maybe I'm allergic to Uncle Dune.

Boys...You Can't Live With Them...'Nuf Said

Well, day one at Lolo and Lola's place and it's not quite the walk in the park that I thought it would be. It's tough living with all boys. All day long I tried to work on my novel, but I kept getting distracted. Three times I had to break up fights between Kaegogi and Uncle Chin Chan, which usually ended up with Kaegogi going to one corner and rocking in a fetal position as he muttered "I'm a naughty boy." So, being the devoted and loving sister I am, I had to walk him through his haze. If Uncle Chin Chan followed me around as much as he follows Kaegogi, I'd pull all my hair out.

Then, Uncle Chin Chan and Uncle Dune have to vocalize everything. I mean everything. I was getting a headache. I mean, there I was in the middle of my writing, beating my head in trying to describe that one humid evening when I saw that dragonfly fly by and all I can hear is those yahoos barking their heads off. The only thing I could think of was "The night was moist." See? Crap.

And, their barking is monotonous and annoying. Uncle Chin Chan croaks like a frog and Uncle Dune has a high pitches squeal that he repeats over and over again for hours on end.

Then, later, Uncle Dune felt he had to get his clown makeup out and practice his mime routine while singing "Send In The Clowns." Hello? Two things -- One. Can you think of anything more original than dog trying to get out of box. You're not even good at it, Uncle Dune. Two. Mime's are supposed to be silent and not singing songs from Stephen Sondheim's "A Little Night Music!"

Argh!

Alright, daddy's home. I'm going to cry in his lap for awhile. I need a drink.

Over The River And Through The Wood...To Grandmother's House- We Go

Well, here we are at Lola and Lolo's house for two weeks. Frankly, I think I'm going to enjoy it because there's more room to spread out. Having to share that doghouse with Kaegogi and his gas problems make it difficult for me to concentrate on my writing.

Anyway, we're here to watch my uncles Chin Chan and Dune. Let me tell you about them.

Uncle Chin Chan and I get along, but Kaegogi hates him. Uncle Chin Chan has this weird habbit of wanting to bite Kaegogi's butt. I'm not quite sure why he likes to do this. But, it makes Kaegogi quite grumpy. But, while Chin Chan can be a handful, he is adorable. He and I like to sit on daddy's lap while he's watching television.

Uncle Dune, however, is a loner. Actually, he's a big old princess, if you ask me. Daddy likes to call him the Elizabeth Taylor of dogs. And, we're not talking about "National Velvet" Elizabeth Taylor. We're talking the latter years. With all due respect to Ms. Taylor, I won't go on any further...but, I think you know what I mean.

Alright, all...I'm going to sleep.