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Rupe's Rants

Dear Santa:

Dear Santy Claws,

How are things way up there?

I was wondering the other day if you have pizza places at the North Pole – and if you do, do they use dog sleds to deliver? Or maybe they use snowmobiles these days? These are thoughts that cost me precious hours of beauty sleep.

Well, here I am again, with my list. I have realized the error of my ways from last year when I was a tad bit greedy and perhaps selfish in my expectations. Certainly not getting anything last year from my list was an eye opener. I have re-adjusted my priorities, as such.

Okay, here we go!

1. World peace, yada, yada, yada.
2. A house.
3. Help for all the poor dogs and cats.
4. A pool for our house.
5. Cure all diseases.
6. Lifetime supply of Wagatha’s treats – various flavours.
7. Make sure everyone has a friend.
8. Lots of trips camping in our trailer.
9. No more wars.
10. Lots of cool squeaky toys – the noisier the better.

So, as you can see, I am a changed dog. I have worked very hard on my social conscience this year. I’m even considering taking up yoga. Yep – I’m that serious!

I hope you aren’t too fat to get in the sleigh this year and that you’ll get to our place before I wake up! I’ll try not to get up and eat your cookies this year – sorry about that, by the way.

Your friend,
Rupert

May Days

Gees, I haven’t written anything here since Christmas! Where does the time go?? Well I can tell you it hasn’t gone into me spending time at my new house or new pool – Santa was a bust on my pretty much my whole wish list! Oh I got some squeakies and a few goodies to nibble – but the big-ticket items – NADA! What a rip, I mean what’s the point of being good if it doesn’t pay off? It’s hard to be good, there should really be some sort of substantial reward for it.

Uh, does anyone know if Santa reads these things??? Hmmm. Dang, I may have to make a bit of an effort now.

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

First, let me say, you look good. No, really have you been working out??

Secondly, whatever you’ve heard – forget it, I’m sure they were all mistaken, I’ve been a good boy – honest, I really have. Okay, I had a few setbacks, but I tried hard to be good. Trying counts – right???

I tried to help Mum lots this year – raising Jemma ain’t easy – she’s crazy! She eats furniture for heaven’s sake! I’ve tried to be a good role model for her, but that kid’s attention span is pretty short. I did not promote the chewing of furniture and I told on her when she peed in the dining room. (She got put in the kitchen for that!) I have tried to explain the finer points of sharing, of good leash manners and general good Corgi behaviour as best I can figure them to be. There’s a lot of pressure being a big brother.

So, if you can see your way clear, I do have a few requests:

1. House with a BIG yard and fence.
2. Swimming pool I can just walk into.
3. Mud pool.
4. Cookies, treats, chewies - as many as you can squish in your bag is fine.
5. Stuffed toys with squeakies or those neat microchips that make real noises.
6. An extra day for the weekend so Mum can spend more time with us.

I hope that you have a safe flight on Christmas Eve, make sure the reindeers are fuelled up so they can make it all the way around the world.

Regards,

Rupe