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Chalupa's Deep Thoughts

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The Food Bowl is in the Living Room, Anyway!

March 29th 2009 11:42 pm
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I am boycotting the kitchen floor. Mom insists on cutting my nails on a regular basis no matter how much I wriggle and squirm during these episodes of puppy abuse, and boy did she really mess up last time! She normally holds me vertically when she clips my nails (with my paws dangling if you can believe it!), but this last time I fought and squirmed around until I was flat on her lap. I thought this might be a bit better than being held like a water hose, but apparently it just made mom cut my nails at a weird angle. Now I can't stand on tiled floor without slipping all over the place! Well, mom says that my nails have grown out now and should be perfectly fine, but I'm not so sure I believe her. So now I refuse to step more than two paws onto the tile at any given time, even when strangers come into the house (I can't see the door from the carpeted living room) or mama drops food on the floor. It's definitely a bummer not being able to go into the kitchen, but I just am sooo mad about mom making me slip around! Mom and Chris think that I'm scared of the tile since I freeze and shiver if one of them sits me on it, but they are so totally wrong. This ferocious chihuahua is scared of nothing ... well, nothing other than garbage trucks, at least. I am shivering in anger, people!! Sure, it means that I may never be able to leave the living room without mom's help again, but I think I may just boycott the tile floor forever!


I'm Back!!!!

March 14th 2009 7:46 pm
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So, it's been totally forever since I last wrote in my diary! Sooo much has happened to me over the last few years ... can you all believe that I'm about to turn 5 years old?? Anyway, I guess the most important news is that I moved to Michigan ... into a house with three cats!!!! I can't believe that mom thought this would be a good idea. I mean, I already had to deal with Duphis (for those of you who aren't long-time readers, Duphis has been my #1 feline enemy since I first came home) and then she goes and does this. The two new felines are named Oz and Willow, and I really don't like them very much. They're always trying to get attention from my people, and sometimes Willow chases me when she's in one of her moods. I don't like that one bit! This whole moving in with two new cats apparently had something to do with mom getting married ... I like my new dad, but the cats are simply unbearable!

Other than the new feline enemies, the only other real indignity that has been forced upon me is the quarterly trips to the vet where someone always pinches my butt and makes me squawk! I think this is outright puppy abuse, but mom seems to disagree. She says that I'm having anal gland issues, but I'm pretty sure that the cats have put her up to it.

On the positive side of things, I finally agreed to start walking on a leash. I thought I wouldn't like it, but it really isn't all bad. When it's warm outside mom and Chris (my new dad!) take me for walks in the park and I have a great time sprinkling trees and claiming the territory as my own. I own, like, half the park now, and the other half shall be mine once spring gets here! When it's cold out, we go to the pet store a lot and I get to walk around and sniff all the displays. There are sooo many weird smells there! The only thing I don't like is the other dogs. I mean, I don't bark at them or anything, but I just don't want anything to do with them. I try to ignore them, but they always want to walk up and sniff my rear. How rude! Once mom took me to a Humane Society event so that I could interact with other dogs - she called it "socializing," I think. I tried to show my disdain for this by snubbing all the dogs that came up to me, but I don't think she got the hint. Moms, I swear! Can't live with them, can't get puppy cookies without them!

My ferret sister passed away a couple years ago. She was pretty old when she died and didn't want to play with me anymore, which made me kinda sad. She was a good playmate and I miss her! Mom did get me a new fish sister, Pumpkin, but she isn't quite as fun as far as playmates go. She just kinda swims around in her tank, and every night mom feeds her some yummy looking pellets that I'm not allowed to have any of. She also gets dried blood worms, but there's no way I'd eat any of those. Yuck!!

Anyway, this puppy has some business to take care of (on the wee wee pad, if you know what I mean). I'll try to update my diary more often from now on ... peace out, puppy pals!


It Was a Squawk of Rage, Really!

July 23rd 2006 9:58 pm
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Oh my! I am soooo embarrassed! The ferret and I were wrestling around, and I was totally kicking her little weasel butt. Then, all of a sudden, she grabbed my lip with her teeth ... hard! I started squawking for mommy, and mom ran over and tried to pull me away from the ferret but she wouldn't let go. It was like a chihuahua tug-o-war! I must say, I wasn't my normal dignified self - I squawked and squawked and squawked! When I was finally pried loose I was totally going to beat up that mean ol' weasel, but momma said there'd been too much fun for one night and put the ferret to bed. Bummer! I'm gonna nip her butt soooo much tomorrow!

In other news, mommy got me a new sweater. It is totally hideous! It's blue with funny buttons on the back ... yuck! She keeps trying to tell me that it's "adorable," but I know better. I don't know why that woman keeps trying to put me in clothing ... I don't like it at all. It's uncomfortable and it makes me waddle around funny! And the other day, I heard her talking about how much she wants to get me some sort of hat (it has holes for my ears to stick out, she says) ... a HAT! What respectable chihuahua princess wears a hat?!?

Sometimes I just don't know how I ended up in this crazy family!


Greenies on My Mind ...

May 5th 2006 1:47 pm
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Wow, so it's totally been a long time since I last wrote in my diary! I've done lots and lots of fun stuff recently. For example, do you know where I got to go last night?!? Dairy Queen!!!! I did a lot of shivering (totally ferocious shivering, of course!) at first - all those dumb people were ooohing and aaahing over me and I didn't like it one bit - but I perked right up when momma and Kyle got their ice cream. You know what, though? They didn't give me any ... not one lick! Mommy says it's because chocolate is poison for puppies, but that's a risk I was totally willing to take. Bummer!

Something funny happened the other day, too. Well, mom didn't think it was funny, but I thought it was absolutely hilarious! I've written about the lady that was living with mom and me before, right? Anyway, she was moving out last weekend, and the moving people locked my feline enemy in the dark bathroom while they were moving her furniture ... and forgot him when they left! Mom and I came home a few hours later and found him in there meowing pitifully. Mom was sooo mad, but I just laughed and laughed. Hey, that cat is mean to me all the time! He totally deserved it!

On a sadder note, mommy has taken away my Greenies - she said they're not good for puppies and can make me have to have surgery on my tummy. I've said it before and I'll say it again, but there are certain risks I'm willing to take, and this is one of them!!!! How am I supposed to survive without Greenies?!? Momma's been trying to appease me with other inferior treats but it's not working. Granted, I'm not exactly refusing the new treats, but they are soooo not as good as my Greenies! Hmph. See if I give her chihuahua kisses anymore!

Speaking of which, mommy's friend Kyle is at our house a lot, and he doesn't seem to like my kisses much. All I ever hear is "Chalupa, don't lick my face!" "Dog, don't lick my arm!" "Chupie, you lick way too much!" First of all, they're kisses, not licks! Secondly, well, that's just rude, refusing perfectly good kisses ... sheesh. I like playing with him a lot, though, and get really excited whenever he walks through the door. If only I could teach him to give and receive kisses on command, he'd be totally perfect!

The weasel bit me last night. Nothing new there. That ferret is soooo silly ... I just can't figure out why she doesn't like me nipping at her butt. All I want to do is play, but sometimes she gets a little grumpy. Crazy animal!

Anyway, this pup has to run ... I've got weasels to chase and naps to take! Much love to all my pup pals!



February 25th 2006 7:58 pm
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Okay, so I don't have a whole lot of time to bark at the moment, but check out this new primary photo that mommy uploaded ... how totally undignified is that?!? That ribbon attacked me, I swear it! Sheesh, I am NEVER gonna live this one down with the chihuahuas next door ...


Chihuahuas Do NOT Wear Bells!

January 11th 2006 3:41 pm
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Okay, so I totally have to update all my pup pals on the new happenings in my life! First off, I have two moms now! Well, hang on ... mommy (my real mommy, that is) said that's probably not the best way to put that. I'm not sure why exactly, but anyway ... mommy rented out our spare bedroom to a lady, and I really, really like her! She's soooo nice, and lets me hang out with her when mommy's not at home. In fact, mommy's taken to calling me a traitor since I like to spend time with the new person even when mommy IS at home. I think it hurts mom's feelings a bit, but she's still my favorite! I just like having someone different to hang out with sometimes ...

Christmas was fun for me, since there were lots of bows and ribbons and paper to destroy. However, on Christmas Eve mommy did make me wear a necklace with jingle bells on it, and I was NOT too happy about that! The Greenies I got *almost* made up for it, though. Almost. Mommy's going to be buying me Greenies for a loooooong time before she pays off THAT I.O.U.!

Oh, it's sort of old news now, but I guess I should mention that mommy ended up keeping the ferret so I still have her to torture ... that makes me really happy! Unfortunately, my feline enemy also still lives with us, although he's eventually supposed to go live with daddy ... however soon he leaves, it won't be soon enough for me! That mean ol' cat is still eating all my food when no one is looking. I have to hide all my Greenies from him ... mommy swears that he doesn't want them, but I prefer to play it safe! I shudder even to think about that nasty animal chewing on one of my scrumptious treats!

Mommy has decided that I'm never going to have great aim when it comes to using my wee wee pad, and has put a plastic sheet down all around it so that I can't accidently tinkle on the carpet. Can you believe that?!? How embarrassing! I am NOT a floor wetter! Well, okay, okay, maybe every little teeny tiny once in awhile I do sprinkle the carpet a bit, but it's only because I'm expressing my creativity ... peeing on a small square pad is sooo boring! Unfortunately, mom isn't much into fine chihuahua artistry. Oh, well ... she just doesn't know what she's missing!

Anyway, it's about time for my evening nap and the cat is in my spot on mommy's lap. I've gotta go chase him off ... can you believe the nerve of that feline?!?


Recent Events

November 21st 2005 2:55 pm
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Mommy says that the ferret is getting to be something called see-nile in her old age. I don't know what that is exactly, but it must be pretty awesome because she's been leaving me lots and lots of yummy ferret chewies all over the apartment recently ... the ferret that is, not mommy. In fact, mommy seems to really dislike the ferret chewies - can you believe that?!? They are full of yummy goodness!

Anyway, lots has happened here since I last barked an entry. I found out that me and my mommy are going to be moving soon. I don't know how I feel about that yet ... I mean, I won't miss that smelly ol' cat at all, but I'll miss daddy and torturing the ferret a WHOLE lot! Mom says they'll still come to visit, though. I heard her talking about getting me a doggie friend to keep me company while she's at work, though, so that might be cool ... just as long as it's not another cat!! But, yeah, mommy has a job now, too. That's a huge bummer, 'cause I don't get to spend all day hanging out with her anymore. She still spends as much time with me as possible, though, even if it's not as much as either of us would like. I guess it's not all bad, though, because I spend a lot of my free time rummaging through the litter box - mommy NEVER lets me do that when she's home!

The other day I went to mommy's friend's house and met his roommate's HUGE lab, Jenna. Actually, I met her one day and barked and growled at her a lot, but the next day when I was over again I had lots of fun trying to play with her. I say "trying" because she's WAY bigger than I am - her head alone makes probably two of me - so she was sorta hard to play with. She's a really nice dog, though! I met another dog recently, too ... her name was Ginger and she's a jack russell terrier mix. Not to sound mean or anything, but I didn't like her much. I growled at her quite a bit. That was after mommy had told Ginger's owner how friendly I was, so mommy wasn't too happy, I don't think. Oh, well ... I can't possibly like every dog I meet, right?!?

Anyway, I just wanted to update all my Dogster friends ... I'll woof in this direction again soon. Happy Turkey Day to you all - may you get lots of yummy table scraps and scrumptous leftovers!


I'm Back!

September 29th 2005 5:24 pm
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I know, I know - it's been at least a dog year or so since I last wrote in my diary. The truth is, though, that there's really been nothing much going on in my world. My feline enemy and I are still getting into daily fights, although I'm sad to report that he's become somewhat immune to my growling and snapping. Do you think they make tasers that you can operate without opposable thumbs?!? That would show him! I'd be, like, "Take that, you fiendish cat!" and then ZAP!! Bet he wouldn't mess with me anymore!

Speaking of my nemesis, something very funny happened to him recently. Remember me mentioning the fleas that mommy insists that I brought into the house? Well, I normally get flea medicated anyway, but because they got into the house the other two animals had to get medicine, too. Mommy bought some Advantage for Duphis ... and within a couple of days, all the hair on the back of his neck fell out! Ha ha ha ha! Mommy says that I shouldn't laugh about it, but how can I resist?!? It's all starting to grow back now, though ... bummer! He actually looked kinda cool that way.

Although I haven't recently been able to score any tasty kitty crunchies from the litter box, the ferret has been sneaking me some ferret chewies whenever she gets the opportunity. Mommy always yells at her when she sees her making the chewies on the carpet, though ... can you believe how mean she is?!?

Anyway, this pup is out of here for now - mommy wants her computer back. This is Chalupa saying goodnight, and may all your bones be Greenies!


Itchy Chihuahua, Coming Through!

August 29th 2005 12:17 pm
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Boy oh boy ... mom and dad are NOT happy. Despite the fact that none of us animals ever go outside, fleas somehow got into the house. Not a whole lot of them (we've only seen three or four or five), but it seems like they're mainly attracted to me. Of course, this is only natural since I'm the sweetest! Anyway, mommy is going nuts, I think ... she's cleaning everything in the house, sprinkling Borax everywhere, and bathing the poor little chihuahua (me!) over and over again! The ferret should definitely NOT have fleas, though, because while mommy was putting Borax on the carpet the weasel sneaked into the bucket and totally covered herself in the powder. Can you believe that silly animal?!? That made me not feel so bad about all my baths, 'cause then she got one, too! We sat in the tub together and I sniffed her head the entire time ... she smelled like laundry soap!

Anyhow, it seems that mom has this flea thing somewhat under control, and my new flea drops are on the way via the postal service. However, I'm afraid that this incident is going to devastate my social life and my position as alpha animal ... I mean, princess chihuahuas are not supposed to get fleas! How will I ever get my royal subjects to respect my authority when they've seen me scratching my behind?!? Oh, it is just not fair!


Fetch ... Chalupa Style!

August 21st 2005 3:53 pm
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Mommy is very proud of me 'cause I've learned how to play fetch. It's sooo much fun! I especially love to play it with my Eeyore, but I don't mind using my Piglet or Pooh - they all make really cool dingling noises. I'm very particular about how I play, though ... mommy or daddy has to sit on the couch and throw my toy while I'm in their lap, and then I run really really fast down my ramp and get into attack mode. Oh, I am sooo ferocious! I get that Eeyore and whip him back and forth a whole bunch of times, and after I'm sure he's been beaten into submission I'll run back up to the couch. We repeat this over and over and over until I get bored, which I signal by dropping my toy next to my water dish and taking a long drink. Sometimes, though, my feline enemy will run up to my toy and sniff it, and I refuse to go get it until he's gone. It's not because I'm scared of him, of course ... I just know I'll get into a whole lot of trouble if I bite his nose for sniffing on MY stuff! Can you believe the nerve of that cat?!?

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