Getting Ready to say Goodbye
February 13th 2010 12:56 am
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I'm slowly realizing that I've been putting my head in the sand for the past 6 or 7 weeks. Playing ostrich. I didn't want to cry anymore. It hurt too much. So I just went numb. Occasionally, the tears would come flying out, like someone opened the flood gates, but I managed to close them quickly.
December 24th 2009 4:33 pm
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Today was a sad day for Dawn. She got Abby as a pup on Christmas Eve. So we sat and watched our video a couple or ten times :-) and just bawled together. It's been a strange month. We light candles all the time for Abby, and we still have her bed in the same place with all her squeaky toys. We just can't bear to take it away right now. And Dawn still barks every time the doorbell rings, to replace the Abby bark that isn't there any more. I've just put a wall some of the time, 'cos it hurts so much to cry. But I know that letting the tears flow is the best thing to do. And here they come again.
December 8th 2009 12:09 am
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I picked up Abby's ashes this evening from the Vet's office. On the way back home, I opened the window on the passenger side 'cos Abby always loved to put her nose out and let the wind just rush all over her face. When she got diagnosed with the osteosarcoma, the Vet said it wouldn't be good to take Abby for walks anymore , because it would put too much pressure on her leg (front), so I used to take her for a drive in the car every day. I guess this was our last drive together.
November 30th 2009 4:57 pm
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Here's a link to a video that Dawn put together. Hope you like it.
November 30th 2009 4:48 pm
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November 30th 2009 4:17 pm
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Quite simply, this was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. We spent the whole morning just lavishing Lots of Love on Abby, Big breakfast, lots of strokes and tummy rubs. Secretly, I was hoping that the Vet would not be able to make it. However, she was there at Noon. She validated for us that this was the best for Abby, that the cancer was just traveling throughout her body, and this was the supreme act of love from us. She was amazed that Abby had lasted so long. - It's wonderful what the Power of Love can do. We know we did the right thing, but that didn't make it any easier. And it was over so quickly. That was probably for the best.
November 30th 2009 10:46 am
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It's 10:30am and the Vet will be here at noon. We know this is the right decision, but it still doesn't stop me from hoping the vet will have some kind of other emergency and won't be able to make it.
November 27th 2009 6:22 pm
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We just couldn't do it! The Vet told us that when they took Abby away today, her body would just lay on a cold slab until Monday, and that wasn't something we wanted to happen, so we told the vet to make it Monday. We woke up and were feeling pretty numb to begin with, and then the reality sunk in, and we were just both bawling, and trying to comfort each other and reason out the situation - Pro's and Con's. - " She's limping, so she must be in pain"; But she's got a good appetite, and she's pooping regularly" She's had highly malignant cancer for over 9 months now" - But she''s so playful and full of life" and we went back and forth and then finally we couln't bear to think of her on a cold slab over the weekend, so we cancelled today's appointment.
November 25th 2009 7:39 pm
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Well, we made an appointment with the Vet to come here on Friday at Noon. Abby's legs crumbled last night when she went to pee, and then she really didn't want to go back up the two small steps into the house. We haven't seen " the look in the eyes", that people talked about, but Dawn ( Abby's Mom) says she knows it's time. We can see the tumor breaking through her front leg, it's obviously very weak, and we definitely don't want her to cross the Bridge with a broken leg .
November 21st 2009 9:09 am
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We cried and we thought and we cried and we thought and then we decided that since Abby can poop by herself and has a great appetite, and just loves her new Purple Platypus squeakie toy - Then maybe, just maybe, it's not quite time yet. Everyone says she will tell us with her eyes, and she's just not saying that right now. She's saying - "Where's my food" and "Let's play Ball". So, we're going to wait until Monday to make the decision. And we're going to surround her with oodles of love .
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