Getting Ready to say Goodbye

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Counting Down the Days

July 26th 2009 12:12 pm
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July 26, '09. It's now just over 5 months since we took Abby to the vet to have her limp looked at. (We thought it was a pinched nerve). The vet called us right back and said come back in immediately. The x-rays showed osteosarcoma in right front paw. The vet said it was highly malignant and she could put Abby to sleep right away. We said "No Way, Not Today!" and we've had a wonderful time together since. She's slowing down and licking both paws now quite a bit, but she still has that waggy tail, and she still wants to play with the squeaky toys. How do we know when it's time?

 

Day By day

August 1st 2009 11:13 am
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We saw the vet again yesterday, and she said that she was amazed that Abby is still with us fivemonths later. She thought maybe two months. We are so glad that she is still with us. She's licking her paws a lot and the vet says that that is an indication of pain. We don't want her to be in pain or to suffer. Yet she seems so full of life. She wags her tail like crazy when she sees us in the morning. She has a great appetite (though Cushings disease plays a part in that). She is continent and regular and she can walk herself. And she wants to play with her squeaker toys. So how do we know when it's time? How do we know that it's US being selfish and wanting one more day?

 

Just One More Day

August 15th 2009 11:54 am
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Well, here we are at the middle of the month, and that's almost 6 months since D-Day (diagnosis day!). I treasure every new day with Abby, and I'm noticing how easy it is for me now to let the tears flow at the thought of losing her. Maybe if I get all the tears out now, there won't be any left later, and it won't be so painful. She's definitely slowing down, but still wants to play, and still can walk outside herself. Her eyes do look a little sadder though. Just One More Day...... please....

 

And the Days Dwindle Down

August 29th 2009 10:14 am
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I just heard that Clive's beautiful Wheaton Terrier Simon crossed over the Rainbow Bridge yesterday and my heart is heavy. So many people have to face this loss every day, have to make the decision to call the vet every day, - it's so sad. But the joy our pets give us, it so totally outweighs the eventual grief.
Abby is still with us. Every morning her tail wags as I give her the first morning tummy rub. We're spoiling her rotten with treats and she's shedding a lot now (more so than usual), but she still has a good appetite, can walk outside and just Loves her new squeaky toy. So we're enjoying every precious day with her.
Just One More Day, ........Please.

 

Wow, we're on Doggie Cloud Nine!

September 2nd 2009 1:23 am
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Dogster just named Abby - " Dog of the Day". What a Huge Honor! Abby's tail hasn't stopped wagging since I told her. This just really lifts our spirits, especially since Abby's time is drawing to a close. It's now September and our vet, who is a really wonderful, compassionate lady, didn't think Abby would stay around past April. It's amazing what lots of love and tummy rubs can do. We still don't know really How to Tell When It's Time. We're just going day by day. Lots of people tell us that Abby will let us know with her eyes. Right now her eyes just say " More Food, Please".
I'm now half way through writing a book on knowing when it's time. It's going to be a "Chicken Soup" type book, and so if anyone has stories on how THEY knew it was time, and would like to share, please write me at geoff@azuradawn.com
I'd love to include all the stories I can. Thanks for reading the diary, and thanks everyone for all the support.

 

Your Support Touches our Heart.

September 7th 2009 11:32 pm
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Wow, we have been overwhelmed with letters of support, Pup Pal requests, Rosettes, Stars and all kinds of Gifts and Comments. This is just so wonderful. This support is exactly what we needed, and is so much appreciated. What a wonderful community this is. There is so much Love going around here. Can't thank you all enough. I want to answer everyone.
Abby has Cushings as well as osteosarcoma, so she's always hungry and thirsty, and obviously spends a lot more time wanting to go take care of business. The good thing is that she still can do it all on her own. (If anyone has a dog with Cushings and wants more info, I have an over 100 pagee-book that I will be happy to share. It was very informative, and has good holistic remedies.)
Abby still wants to play her favorite game which is "Try to Take My Squeaky Toy Outta My Mouth If You Can" - and we never can 'cos she's tooo quick for us. She still tries to stuff 2 tennis balls in her mouth at one time, and she still plays waggy tail like crazy. I don't think it's time yet, but her eyes are definitely losing the sparkle she once had. "Just One More Day",..please.

 

Autumn Leaves start to fall

September 23rd 2009 2:07 pm
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...and our Vet is amazed that Abby is still with us. She's a fighter! She's licking her paws a lot more, which is the standard sign of pain, so my wife and I are having more and more discussions on when it's time. No-one wants to cause pain to their pet, and we all want as much time with them as we can. Gossh,this is so difficult, and yet, it is so wonderful to see her each morning, just a-wagging that tail like crazy. Her appetite is great, she can walk outside to poop, so we're taking each day at a time, and being so thankful for it. Just One More Day, oh pleez, oh pleez.

 

Counting Down The Days

October 7th 2009 5:16 pm
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We're getting close to having to call the Vet in. (We've decided that we want Abby to cross the Bridge here at home). She's licking her paws a lot more, her right front paw is swollen with a tumor (the original tumor was on her left paw), she's drinking like there's a drought (from the Cushings)and she's limping noticeably. We increased her Zubrin anti-inflammatory to 2 x 200mg tablets to help with the pain.
Yet she can still walk herself out to poop, still has an appetite and still wants to play. The research I've done seems to come down to - Is she having more good days than bad days? Well, - we don't want her to have bad days. We don't want her to suffer. And our biggest fear is that her leg will break and cause her needless pain. The good thing is that she still wants and loves her tummy rubs, still plays with her squeakers and still wants to try and stuff 3 tennis balls into her mouth. (Still can do only 2 !).
Is it crazy that I'm crying and she 's still here?
Isn't the crying supposed to be after she's gone?
I guess I know the time's coming,.....and that's why I'm determined to make sure that she goes just surrounded with oodles of love. The Dogster support is just awesome. It helps so much. We're waiting for her to tell us when.
Just one more day,...... please.

 

Oh Gosh, Not Today!

October 11th 2009 10:22 am
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I took Abby out this morning to poop, she pooped and then she just sort of put her butt down on the sidewalk and vegged out. That was unusual. Especially with the Cushings, food / breakfast is All Important. After about 5 minutes, she got up and came in for her food. I gave her the Zubrin medication ( 2 tablets instead of the 1-1/2 that we'd given her before). She took the meds and then breakfast. She ate it all, which indicated good appetite. But then, she was very itchy on both sides, and agitated, just walking around, following me everywhere, licking rubbing scratching. That was a few hours ago, and she's calmed down a bit now, but Dawn, my wife, says that it's time. She said that Abby told her last night. Of course, I'm asking for one more day. "It's Sunday, the Vet is not available". We've had lots of tears, and we're just going to see how the day goes.

 

It's All About The Love

October 12th 2009 8:35 am
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Yesterday was freaky. Abby probably got a bite on her nose from either a spider or a wasp, 'cos it swelled up later and she was trying to rub it all the time. I knew something was very wrong by her agitation. She calmed down later in the day. However, we realize that the decision has to be made soon. She has a couple of big tumors near her neck, she has tumors in her front paws, she itches her haunches a lot and she wheezes a bit now. We now the cancer progresses, yet she can walk out side, she has a good appetite still and she still rolls over for her tummy rubs. The tough part is that she really can't tell us just how much pain she is in. We're getting close, but I now understand so much of what I've read in other Diaries. Everyone wants Just One More Day. My task is to realize that loving her is also about letting her go. That's so hard.

 
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