January 27th 2013 11:58 am
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So I suppose I should interrupt catching you up on last year’s events to tell you my horrible news. It’s truly horrible. You should probably sit.
I have a new sister. Not only that. I have a new OLDER sister. And she seems to think that she can boss me around too.
It’s miserable. I’m miserable. Miserablest ever.
Well, that’s what I tell Mom and Dad to get extra cheese anyhow.
Mom’s been looking for a beagle friend to hang out with Meri because Mer wanted someone her size. I weigh 80 lbs. Meri weighs 20 lbs. Apparently, I don’t know my size (although I just told you I weigh 80 lbs right? So I do know my own size). So they wanted to get Meri someone she can wrestle with that is her weight. Well, if that’s the case, they should get three more beagles. Then there will be 80 lbs of beagle vs. me.
Or better yet, a cute 60 lb. female German Shepherd. Perfect, right?
I don’t know why don’t they don’t just ask me.
Anyhow, so they went to the pound (where, of course, you buy dogs by the pound) to get the beagle friend for Meri. She met her new beagle friend and liked her. And suddenly, there was another boardroom in our car with a dog in it. I didn’t even get to meet her! Meri gets veto power, but me? I’m chopped liver, I guess!
Chopped liver… Mmmmmm! Delicious!
Oh, sorry. I got distracted.
Anyhow, so we got home, and the new girl went into the kitchen behind the baby gates. She barked at me whenever I walked by. She was making it clear that she is older than me; in fact, she’s older than Meri, so she is definitely the boss of me.
I didn’t like that, so I barked back at her.
Mom told us both to be quiet and I had to go to my boardroom.
That happened a couple of times this week. Probably, if I had listened to Mom when she said “Celo, Leave it” that would have avoided the whole situation. But if you have a big sister, you know how hard it is when she carps on you.
Carp. Oh, I do like fish. Speaking of which, Mom grilled us some wild halibut this week. I think she was trying to butter me up because of the new big sister thing. If she really wanted to butter me up, she would have put butter on my grilled halibut, right?
Oh, sorry, distracted again.
Anyhow. So it turns out that my sister, Ixtapa, is not a beagle. She doesn’t sniff the ground ever. Mom thinks she is part Australian Shepherd.
I thought I would like having another Shepherd in the house, especially since I have never been to Australia. But she is also terrier – a special kind of terrier call Parson Russell terrier. This is a special kind of terrier because it used to be called Jack Russell terrier. I read that on Wikipedia. It doesn’t say on Wikipedia, but I’ve decided that the reason that they changed the name is because Jack Russell terriers are too outrageous. The name was changed to protect the naughty, just like they say on TV.
So, we’ve been having to do what Mom calls "slow introductions." We go on walks together, which is fine because she’s part of my pack (whether I like it or not) and that’s what packs do.
In the back yard, she and Meri hunt for critters while I play Jolly Ball. In the house, we’re still separated, which is good because Itza is very bossy and thinks she can tell me where in the house I can go. So she stays in the kitchen and her bedroom and I get the rest of the house.
Meri is mad about the kitchen now being blocked off because Meri likes cruising the kitchen for crumbs, but hey, that’s not my problem. Besides, Meri is the one that wanted a friend.
I was perfectly happy the way things were before I had two big sisters to boss me around. But apparently, my life has changed forever and no one ever asked me my opinion about anything.
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