January 18th 2013 11:46 am
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I’ve been in a cheesy mood, and getting on Mom’s nerves, so she suggested that I write in my diary. She said, “I pay for that darn diary, Celo. If you don’t use it, I’ll get rid of the account.”
Wow. Such a stickler.
Anyhow, my cheesy mood is The Most Clever Thing Ever --except Mom figured it out. If I bark at dogs at our back fence, Mom calls at me to come into the house, which I usually run as fast as I can to her. She gives me cheese for a “good recall” and tells me I’m a good boy. So being a genius, I figured I’d just run out to the fence, bark a little, run into the house, give Mom a cheesy grin and she’d give me some cheese.
It worked exactly twice. Maybe it wasn’t the Most Clever Thing Ever, but just sort of the Kind of Clever Thing That Gets You Two Pieces of Cheese.
So, now I’m writing you a diary.
Happy New Year again.
I really have a lot to tell you. Last year was just wild, so I’ll try to tell you everything in order, if I can keep my brain in order myself.
The last thing I told you was that we woke up on Christmas LAST year in the motorden, right? We were on vacation?
Except we weren’t. We kept going south, to California. That night, we got to somewhere that even Meri had never been before (not Grandma’s house and not her breeder’s house), and Mom and Dad brought us into a house that looked a lot like our old house: it had boxes EVERYWHERE. But it also had our beds, our water bowls, our basket of toys, our boardrooms, and even treats.
It seemed like a nice place.
Dad showed Mom around the place with us on leashes. Then we got to be off leash in the house. The house has two long hallways that are perfect for zooming. There is a big bedroom and some teeny ones. Meri saw one with Zamboni’s old thick bed (with a ton of blankets on top) in it, and she said that she would like that to be her room while we’re staying here. I guess this is like a private hotel. I hope it has egg and bacon breakfast every day like the Holiday Inn express. I really like that!
To go outside, we had to go back on leash. The outside had something dangerous called “Skunk.” Mom kept saying, “be careful there are no Skunk!” to Dad.
Meri and I thought maybe Skunk was like the explosions and rockets we see on TV all the time.
So we pottied in that yard at night, and we all slept on Mom and Dad’s bed. I’m not sure how Mom and Dad’s bed got there, or why a hotel would not just use their own beds, like usual. But Mer and I sniffed it for a very long time, and it was definitely our bed.
The next morning, we went outside with Dad and checked out the yard. Dad said it was our yard. That’s nice. I never much liked sharing hotel yards with other dogs. Dad didn’t say where the Skunk rockets were set up. We didn’t see them, but we could smell something weird and chemical. They must be hidden. What kind of hotel is this, anyhow?
This place did have a squirrel. He wasn’t OUR squirrel. He is skinny and gray with a long skinny tail, not fat and brown with a bushy tail. But he is shifty and dastardly. So I’m sure they are brothers. Besides, they both run down the fence and up and around the trees exactly the same. They both yell obscenities at me for chasing them. Same squirrel tactics. So they clearly went to the same Squirrel Academy.
Later that day, Mom loaded us up into the car. She said we had to go to Costco. And sure enough, it looked just like Costco. But it wasn’t any of our usual Costcos from Washington. She came out with so much food and stuff that by the time the cart was empty, my car boardroom was buried in Costco stuff, and Meri said hers was too.
And then Mom said, “Ok kids, let’s go home.” But she only drove about 10 minutes, not the hours and hours it took us to get to California.
We went back to that private hotel with the skinny squirrels and invisible skunk rockets in the back yard.
Once Meri and I were unburied from the Costco stuff, we just looked at each other. “HOME”? Mom said “HOME?”
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