July 14th 2013 8:07 pm
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I don't know if I'll ever get my diary caught up. Things just keep getting screwier around here.
These humans just brought home another sister -- a crazy little beagle sister this time. She just arrived last week.
I was just getting used to having a bossy big sister.
And now I have a bossy little sister. Oh, she's very bossy. If I'm in her path, if I'm just lying quietly in the hallway, napping, minding my own business, she barks at me loudly (actually she bays a beagle bay, which is much worse. And what's up with that? Zamboni and Meri never bayed like that. It's the craziest sound I've ever heard.)
Mom says she does that because the first day she was here, I bumped her with my fatty butt, and that scared her. I'm 90 lbs and she weighs 18 lbs. Itza says I bumped her into next week. I don't really know what that means, but it's kind of funny, isn't it? I kind of thought I wouldn't see Carmen until next week, but she's still here.
So I think Itza was wrong. But it's still something funny to say, and I can hope for it. Maybe I need to bump Carmen a little harder with my rear next time.
Anyhow, so now, every time I'm in her way, she yells at me. A tiny little beagle dog (tinier than Meri, who is quite small) YELLS at me. How's that for disrespectful?
Mom says she's here forever too. She's Meri's niece. So she definitely is family. Meri says she is a Little Beagle Princess, so she is not only here, but we have to be respectful. Swell.
In case you're not counting, that's THREE sisters. And me. No brothers. No other boys. Just me and three bossy girls.
I'm starting to think my humans hate me.
Someone come get me. Please?
February 6th 2013 3:57 pm
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So we all got new nicknames.
Meri insisted on it.
Mom has been calling Itza “Itza Pizza” because it perfectly rhymes. I have to admit: it’s pretty catchy.
But Meri, being a beagle, demanded her own food nickname because if there’s anything having to do with food, beagles have to be involved.
So Mom thought and thought. And then she thought and thought some more. And she told Mer that her food nickname would be BurgerMerster, MersterBurger. She explained that there is a TV show about the Burgermeister and he is in charge of everything in town. So with this nickname, Meri gets to be in charge of everything, but especially burgers, including, Mom said, cheeseburgers, which are Mer’s favorite.
Meri was very pleased.
Mom said that she had to think some more about my nickname. So she has been. Mom finally came up with a couple of options. She said that since I have been making excellent decisions in my training, I can make the final decision.
I really feel great about that.
My options are
Hero Celo, after the super meaty cheesy sandwich and the fact that I am everyone’s hero (which is, in fact, true. Everyone admires me).
Celo Gyro, which she didn’t think a lot of, but it kind of rhymes.
Celo Playdough, which rhymes really well, and Mom admitted to me that when she was a really little kid, she would sample Playdough, which is very salty. Mom thinks I’m a rather salty chap. So she likes this option. It does sound cool. Also, I like to play a lot, and I think if I had dough, I could buy more toys and snacks.
So I’ve been thinking about it. I wikipedia’d Playdough, and I realized that Mom probably shouldn’t have been eating that stuff, even as a little kid. It’s kind of like when I used to eat dirt when I was a puppy. It's not really good for you.
Then I wikipedia’d Gyro. They’re from Greece and made with lamb and yogurt, two of my favorite foods. I’ve never had pita bread, but Meri says it’s delicious. It’s a little pocket that you put all your favorite food in, like I put all my favorite toys and chews in the back yard (where Mom says, “sheeeze, Celo. Why is all your stuff out here again?”) So Gyros are kind of like having a backyard full of lamb and yogurt. I’ve never been to Greece, but it has lots of beaches. I LOVE the beach, with its big birds to chase, all the water to swim in, the sand to dig as deep as possible (without the humans saying “no digs, Celo!”), and the delicious dead fish and old shells that I roll on top of until I smell like a wonderful fish dinner.
I think that Gyro Celo is a perfect name for me.
In fact, I think 2013 is going to be the Celo’s Gyro of Great Things.
Ha! Get it?
I need to go tell the BurgerMerster my new pun. She’ll love it (she’ll roll her eyes. That’s how I know she loves my puns and jokes).
Talk to you later,
January 27th 2013 12:04 pm
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Meri says I have to add this: apparently, I now weigh 87 lbs and not 80 lbs. So they're right. I don't know my own size.
But Itza only weighs 30 lbs, combine that with Meri's 20 lbs, that's only 50 lbs. That means they could still get another 37 lb dog from the pound.
I would like a little brother to play with.
I'm going to tell Mom. I'm sure she'll agree that's reasonable. Don't you?