What truly defines the holiday season? Is it religion? Could it be a sense of family? Or maybe the selfless joy of giving? It’s a telling dilemma to ponder, so while you do that I’ll focus on the one undoubted constant of the times — the cult of the ugly Christmas sweater.

With the trend of sporting garish, loud, and itchy sweaters reaching fever pitch, it’s no surprise that such offending items have infiltrated the wardrobes of previously self-respecting canines across the land. In honor of National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day, here’s a cautionary round-up of dogs who have been forced to wear some abominable sweaters in the name of the holiday.

This perturbed pooch cannot decide whether he’s more aghast at his holiday sweater or the black-and-white eyesore of a rug he’s forced to lounge around on.

Does this look like the face of a dog who enjoys being dressed up as an argyle sock?

This homemade, chunky-knit design has the unfortunate effect of making this dignified dog look like he’s constipated. Remember: When it comes to holiday sweaters, fit is key.

This dinky dog is but one precarious step away from plummeting to the depths of tie-dyed attire!

A.K.A. How to make your dog resemble an elderly Red Riding Hood who has stumbled upon hard times. No one wins in this situation.

This poor little thing did not embrace the psychedelic style with the same gusto as the owner.

Nothing exudes class like a seasonal slogan bedecking a busy sweater!

Do you dress your dog in an ugly Christmas sweater? Share photos of your pups in the comments, please!

About Phillip Mlynar: The self-appointed world’s foremost expert on rappers’ cats. When not penning posts on rap music, he can be found building DIY cat towers for his adopted domestic shorthair, Mimosa, and collecting Le Creuset cookware (in red). He has also invented cat sushi, but it’s not quite what you think it is.