We love our dogs. We aspire to give them all that they need –- the finest food, treats, and toys. But despite our efforts to give them the good life, there is no stopping our pups from committing cringeworthy acts that only Steve-O of Jackass fame has topped.
In a giveaway post June 3 — the winner of which would get a set of plush toys from P.L.A.Y. — we asked you, readers, to share some of the grossest moments in dogdom that you’ve faced, and we must say, there were plenty that made us shudder.
Whether it be eating hobo feces, digging up cat carcasses, or, as cleverly coined by our reader Creepy McSteezerson, snacking on “Kitty Bon Bons,” we’ve read some doggone awful stories.
Here, dear readers, is a list of our favorites:
Jpkest, winner of our gross doggy award, had a handful of stories to share when it came to his miniature dachshund -– including the decapitation of a squirrel in the form of tug-of-war.
However, the one to top them all is this:
“Sometimes, my sister’s medium-size male dog, Deogie, comes to visit my house. One day, Beau began humping Deogie. We proceeded to laugh because of Beau’s small stature dominating the larger dog, Deogie. However, the laughing stopped and turned to grimacing when Beau came all over Deogie’s back! The cleanup was not fun.”
Beau’s story is mostly funny, if not a little embarrasing. Cocoa, a dog belonging to a reader named Joan, performed something more disturbing, and perhaps much more emotionally traumatizing while digging out back.
“When we were small we would bury the pets that died in the back and one day Cocoa decided it would be good to bring me a cat carcass all the while looking very proud.”
It seems as if canines have a running theme with the dead. They enjoy resurrecting dead cats, and killing squirrels. Yet the kill isn’t enough, and they to take it a step further.
Sara Reusche says:
“I can’t decide which was worse, the time she found a dead skunk to coat herself in, or the time she crawled inside a rotted-out deer carcass. The deer carcass was definitely slipperier. She was completely inside the rib cage, and any time I tried to pull her out she would hold onto the ribs with her front paws, and my hands would slip off her because she was covered in deer goo.”
It isn’t the obviously disgusting acts (like a dog covered in corpse goo) that can really get to us. The more psychologically traumatizing events can always be more embarrassing — like having all your mother’s underwear becoming crotchless in front of your boyfriend.
Rachel Lynn says:
“My dad’s dog Dozer (a min pin) has a love for women’s underwear — dirty ones. I was bringing my then boyfriend over to meet the family and was mortified to find that [Dozer] had gotten into the dirty laundry and dug out and chewed the crotch out of not only my underwear, but my sisters were mixed in and my mom’s granny panties.”
Megan Angstadt-Williams describes an equally embarrassing moment when her dogs found themselves in the trash and returned with a present for her in-laws:
“Sadie was in the lead, licking her lips, and Asha came behind her, with a used condom stuck to her head. I’m not sure what was worse. The fact that she appeared to have eaten half of it, or us having to chase her around to peel it off of her while my husband’s parents watched in wide-eyed silence.”
However, if there is one act that binds many dogs together, and makes us queasy, it’s coprophagia. Whether it be their own, another dog’s, or their feline friends, it seems as if some of our best canine buddies love to be snacking on some soft serve poo-cream.
RatDog Pack says:
“We were out walking one day when Shoebert squatted, his pooh dispensing like a string of toothpaste. Miss Mini put her nose to his butt then took a bite midstream. What’s worse than a coprophagic dog? A coprophagic dog that belches in your face.”
There were plenty of stories shared, and it was a dark delight to read them all.
They made us laugh, cry, and cringe as readers confessed stories of vomit, poo snacking, and digested used tampons. However at the end of the day, one thing is for sure: We can all relate.
For every dog that threw up, and then proceeded to eat it, there were about three others.
Even if your pup starts eating another dog’s poop while it’s still being processed, it’s comforting to know that you’re not alone -– there is certainly about a dozen other dogs in the city doing the same thing. Dogs will be dogs, and we love them for it.
Read more on dogs being the dogs we love: