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5 Reasons I Envy My Dogs

They have a personal chef and don't have to worry about Christmas shopping -- I want that, too!

 |  Nov 27th 2012  |   9 Contributions


My dogs live a life of leisure. I don’t begrudge their lazy ways one bit. In fact, some days I wish I could trade places with Spot or Dolly. With that in mind, I put together this list of five reasons I envy my dogs.

1. They never have morning breath

I don’t know about your pups, but mine wake with the same breath they had eight hours earlier. And with the exception of right after they eat, it’s not so bad. I, on the other hand, shouldn’t even breathe until I brush my teeth.

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Dolly Thought Bubble: What’s that smell?

2. They never hold a grudge

Spot and Dolly adore everyone they meet, and they never take offense when someone tires of petting them or throwing the ball. They greet anew each time and start the relationship from scratch. Ask me about my fifth-grade homeroom teacher and a comment she made in my earshot for proof I don’t easily let things go.

3. They have a personal chef

If I had someone shopping for and preparing my meals each day -- after consulting a nutritionist as to the proper amounts of this, that, and the other -- I wouldn’t still belong to Weight Watchers after eight years.

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Spot Thought Bubble: I heard you! Probiotics blah blah blah nom nom nom.

4. They can fall asleep in seconds

My pups start snoring as soon as their heads hit the sheets -- or the floor or the couch, for that matter. I read and toss and turn for at least 30 minutes before falling asleep. 

5. They don’t have to Christmas shop

I love the act of giving, but loathe having to shop. Spot and Dolly need only show up to the family Christmas gathering. If I could trade places for one month out of the year, I would definitely pick December.

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I would happily wear reindeer antlers to get out of Christmas shopping.

What about you, readers? Are there any reasons you envy your dogs? Please share them in the comments!

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