A Shocking New Way to Walk Your Dog

No one likes to walk with a dog who pulls and tugs at his leash. Sure, training can cure this, but it takes a little...

simpleLeash: Because toddlers should be able to walk dogs who are twice their weight while their parents hold hands and try to look happy...

No one likes to walk with a dog who pulls and tugs at his leash. Sure, training can cure this, but it takes a little effort. Now one company is offering a new way to quickly train your dog to be a perfect leash-walker:

Just shock him into it!

Yes, with simpleLEASH, walking can be a simply shocking experience! Just attach it to your dog and go for a walk. When he pulls a little too hard, here’s what happens, according to company literature:

This white-faced old lab from the simpleLEASH site sure looks like s/he needs to be shocked while on a walk, don't you think?

…he will hear the beep that says, “You’re pulling too hard!” If he keeps pulling, he will feel a safe but uncomfortable correction stimulus. Very quickly dogs learn to stop pulling when they hear the beep, and don’t need to receive the correction stimulus any more.

simpleLEASH training is simple. The computer inside knows when to give your dog the beep and also the correction stimulus, so training becomes predictable and easy. You literally don’t do a thing except hold the end of the leash…

Training will typically take one or two walks. During training, your dog will likely receive a few harmless, but effective, correction stimuli. Your pet controls the administration of the stimulus by how hard it pulls. After this training, dogs typically stop pulling when they hear the warning beep, avoiding any further correction stimuli. The simpleLEASH really is that simple and effective…No more pinching. No more choking!”

Yes, no more pinching or choking! Now there’s just shocking! I’m sure dogs are relieved! And I love the term, “correction stimulus.” Come out and say it, simpleLeash: “Your dog will receive a few painful shocks.” You can try to disguise it, but a rose is a rose by any other name, and a correction stimulus is a shock.

Meanwhile, readers, as your dog is being “trained,” you’re not doing a thing except holding the end of the leash! What could be easier? Oh, and did you know that “Mothers and elderly find the leash particularly effective to help manage their dogs and families,” according to simpleLeash. Why look! We have a clear demonstration of this!

Note that “Before,” Maddie’s tail is up when she is being her rambunctious self. But “After,” it is down and she looks petrified to take a step. Oh, and isn’t it great how this mom is holding her child as she is doing this? Yes, what could be easier while petrifying your dog into near paralysis?

All this for only $89.95 plus shipping! Here’s what you get:

* A 6′ leash.
* A collar with control box.
* A sensor that detects how hard your dog is pulling on his leash.
* Two sets of removable probes: (1) short probes for dogs with short hair and (2) long probes for dogs with long hair.
* 2 batteries.
* 2 probe covers: one for the short and one for the long probes.
* Instruction manual

Probes? You go for a walk with your dog and you need probes? This is getting more gruesome by the minute.

Here a video of another dog who shuts down, er, stops pulling within two minutes. Must be the probes…

(Does anyone else wonder why these videos are silent, and why they look as if they were taken from inside the coat pocket of a very poor, inebriated private detective?)

Here is a great line, straight from simpleLEASH headquarters:

“No wonder owners have described the leash as ‘unbelievable’…”

Yes, no wonder. Truly unbelievable.

What do you think?

(Update: We heard from the simpleLEASH people, who left a comment in the Comments area. Judging by their About page, they seem like decent people who clearly believe in the product they created. I personally would never use it, but if you would like to see their explanation, please look in the comments, under Customer Service SimpleLEASH.)

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