When it comes to dogs, kids love them, dislike them, or are indifferent to them depending on their personality and their experience with pups throughout their young lives. No matter how a child feels about dogs, though, they will likely be hard-pressed not to find a good dog joke entertaining. Fortunately, there are dozens of hilarious dog jokes for kids that are perfect for any family-friendly occasion. Here are 84 that you can share with your little ones today!
The 84 Hilarious Dog Jokes for Kids
1. What kind of dog likes getting baths every day?
A shampoo-dle.
2. Why are dogs like phones?
Because they have collar IDs.
3. Why was the dog sweating so much?
She was a hot dog.
4. What do you call a great dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
5. What was the little Scottish dog’s reaction when he first saw the Loch Ness Monster?
He was terrier-fied.
6. How do fleas travel from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
7. Why didn’t the dog want to play football?
They were a Boxer.
8. How are dog catchers paid in the U.K.?
By the pound.
9. What kind of dog does Dracula like the most?
Bloodhounds.
10. What is a dog’s favorite kind of pizza?
Pupperoni pizza.
11. What do puppies and pages of a book have in common?
They are both dog-eared.
12. How are a dog and a marine biologist similar?
One wags a tail and the other one tags a whale.
13. Why are dogs terrible dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
14. What dog breed loves city living?
The New Yorkie.
15. What did the person name their two watchdogs?
Rolex and Timex.
16. What kind of dog is always aware of the time?
A watchdog.
17. What kind of dog likes to chase red things?
A Bulldog.
18. Why do you have to be careful when it’s raining cats and dogs?
Because you might step in a Poodle.
19. What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
“That’s ruff.”
20. What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
A cat-tastrophe.
21. What dog breed do scientists love?
Labs.
22. What does a dog that finishes obedience school get?
A pet-degree.
23. What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trombone.
24. What is a dog that can’t bark called?
A hushpuppy.
25. What kind of dessert do dogs love?
Pupcakes.
26. Why did the Dachshund want to rest in the shade?
Because it was a hot dog.
27. Why did the dog get caught stealing roof shingles?
He wanted to become a woofer.
28. What did the hungry Dalmatian say after a good meal?
“That hit the spots.”
29. What did the small dog say to their crush?
“You’re the Corg-key to my heart.”
30. What do a dog and a tree have in common?
They both have bark.
31. Why did the doggy get upset?
He was going through a rough pooch.
32. What playwright is a dog’s favorite?
William Shakespaw.
33. What does a dog say to apologize?
“Please fur-give me.”
34. What fashion magazine do dogs like to read?
“Vanity Fur.”
35. What did the dog say when he left his friends at the park?
“I’ll Collie you later.”
36. What is a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Wooffles.
37. What movie do dogs love watching?
“Jurassic Bark.”
38. What should you do if a dog eats your dictionary?
Take the words out of their mouth.
39. What is a dog’s favorite thing to drink during the fall?
A Pug-kin spice latte.
40. What dog breed knows how to use a phone?
Dial-matians.
41. Why is Santa’s dog named Frost?
Because frost bites.
42. How does a dog train fleas?
From scratch.
43. Why wouldn’t the dog go to the market with their owner?
Because it was a flea market.
44. What do you get when crossing a dog with a flower?
A Collie-flower.
45. What does a dog say to celebrate mealtime?
“Bone appetite.”
46. What is a puppy surrounded by a stereo system called?
A subwoofer.
47. What is a dog magician called?
A Labra-cadabra-dor.
48. What dog breeds can jump higher than buildings?
All of them because buildings can’t jump.
49. What’s an old dog called?
Grand-paw.
50. How do dogs take a break from watching a movie?
They push the paws button.
51. What is a dog’s favorite snack?
Pupcorn.
52. Where would dogs park their cars?
At the dog park, of course.
53. When is a black dog not considered black?
When he’s a Greyhound.
54. How do you spell dog backward?
D-O-G-B-A-C-K-W-A-R-D.
55. What’s a cold dog called?
A chili dog.
56. What is louder than a barking dog?
Two barking dogs.
57. What do you get when crossing a large boat with a small dog?
A Ship Tzu.
58. What do you get when crossing a dog with a plane?
A Jet Setter.
59. What is a dog’s ultimate comfort food?
Anything that’s on your plate.
60. What do you call a wet dog during Christmas?
Jingle smells.
61. Why won’t Dalmatians play hide-and-seek?
Because they’re always spotted.
62. How can you make a dog disappear?
Use spot remover.
63. What does a zombie say to his dog?
“Go flesh.”
64. Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the barking lot.
65. What’s a dog’s favorite kind of store?
A re-tail store.
66. What time is it when 10 dogs are chasing a cat?
10 after 1.
67. Why would people be shocked to see a dog driving a car?
They have never seen a dog park before.
68. What should you do if your dog eats your pencil?
Use a pen instead.
69. What kind of dogs would never throw things away?
Hoarder Collies.
70. How do dogs greet others during Christmas?
“Feliz Navidogs.”
71. Why do puppies leave junk everywhere?
They are used to being part of a litter.
72. What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel with a Poodle and a Rooster?
Cocker-Poodle-Doo.
73. How do you know when your dog is lazy?
They only chase parked cars.
74. What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
“Well, doggone.”
75. What are young dogs playing in the snow called?
Slush puppies.
76. What do you call a dog when they sneeze?
A Choo-wawa.
77. Why are skeletons afraid of dogs?
Because dogs love bones.
78. What do dogs like to eat for brunch?
Pooched eggs.
79. What career are dogs best suited for?
Barkeology.
80. What month do dogs bark the least?
February because it’s the shortest.
81. What do you get when crossing a frog with a dog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
82. What happens when a dog swallows a firefly?
They smile with de-light.
83. What happened when a dog went to the flea circus?
They stole the show.
84. What’s a dog that sticks their tongue in a socket called?
Sparky.
Just reading dog jokes to your child can be a fun way to spend quality time together. However, there are other ways that you can share these jokes that will help take their entertainment value to a whole new level. Here are a few ideas to consider:
- Ask your child to create and then tell you a joke after each one that you read to them.
- Come up with different answers to the joke questions.
- Try to make the jokes rhyme.
- Turn the jokes into songs.
Conclusion
With so many funny dog jokes to read through, you and your kids can stay busy every day after school and work, having fun and laughing with each other. Sharing jokes is a great way to relieve tension and strengthen your bond.
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Featured Image Credit: Jonathan Daniels, Unsplash
The 84 Hilarious Dog Jokes for Kids
