Having trouble finding a partner for you and a parent for your dog? You’re not alone! You’d think going through a divorce after 20 years of marriage was the most hellish thing I’d been through. But no — dating afterward has been even worse.

You know the drill. The anxiety of getting ready for a first date, finding the place you’re meeting on time (yeah, right), introducing yourself — a handshake or a hug? — and wondering what to talk about.

That last one is easy for us dog lovers. You talk about your dog, of course. The trick is not to limit your conversation to how cute your dog looks in his sweater and how he’s definitely the smartest dog you’ve ever known (would you believe he can count to five?). Showing your date one picture on your phone of your remarkable pooch — fine. Going through the whole gallery of Fido’s pictures — not fine.

I have learned these sort of rules after dating for two-plus years in New York City. Needless to say, my heart is still healing, my dating skills are lacking, and I grasp onto the subject of my Pit Bull as a crutch in those anxiety-filled dating moments. One thing’s for sure: Within three minutes of meeting me, the guy knows I love dogs. But the question is … does he love dogs?

I have found that there’s no sense in going on a first date with someone who doesn’t at least claim to love dogs. In the less-than-truthful world of dating, we’ve all run into that guy we met online or at an event or anywhere who, when you mention your dog, exclaims, “I love dogs!” And yet, in reality, while he’s willing to pat a passing pooch on the head, the thought of walking one himself (especially every day) is frightening. So I now take any initial enthusiasm lightly.

The way I get out of any dates with such guys: I look at my phone and exclaim, “Oh. My. GOD! It’s my pet sitter texting me. Bunch is throwing up!” and exit quickly. What can he say, eh?

I have, therefore, begun perusing dog-specific dating sites and going to dog-related events. I have even traded in my comfy 10-year-old yoga pants and zip-up hoodie for skinny jeans and a flattering sweater when I take Bunch to the dog park. I also put on lip gloss and make sure my hair isn’t sticking up. My thought is: Surely the guys on these sites, at these events, and at the dog park can at least tolerate dogs and may even, truthfully, love them.

So, has this focus worked for me?

Sort of. Bunch is a Pit Bull, as we all know by now, and a Pit Bull is tougher for a lot of people, even self-professed “guy” guys and dog lovers, to be immediately comfortable with than, say, a Golden or a Beagle. In New York City, where Bunch and I live, small dogs are the norm, as well as pocket-size pooches, so guys here often think that a dog more than 25 pounds is more like a horse than a dog and should be approached cautiously.

Not every guy I’ve dated by any means is skittish around Bunch, and I’ve found that if they are at first it doesn’t mean it’s a total no-go. Take Dan (not his real name). We met at a dog event. He had a very mellow spaniel mix. When Dan met the very exuberant Bunch, he involuntarily moved behind me and looked to the door.

Then take Steve (also not his real name). I met Steve online at a pet dating site. He had a tiny Yorkie, and when he met Bunch, he ogled her size and said he’d never seen such a big dog (Bunch weighs 60 pounds).

But Dan and Steve, being true dog lovers, adjusted to Bunch after a short while and entered the contest to become her doggie daddy. (For reasons unrelated to their dog-loving natures, I no longer date either Dan or Steve, though I’m sure they will make some pooches great doggie daddies.)

So, what’s my point in all of this? Dating sucks. Dating when looking for the right doggie daddy (or mommy) for your pooch is even tougher. And sometimes I wonder if I’ve always been overly harsh when it comes to picking a guy for my dog. After all, my first bumper sticker at the age of 16 read: “The more men I meet,  the more I love my dog.”

But while I may be too picky in general when dating (I gave up on the height requirement of a guy being more than 6 feet tall long ago), the truth is we dog lovers cannot be too picky when it comes to finding a co-parent for our dogs.

Have you had luck finding good dog lovers to date? Tell us your tips in the comments!

Read more by Kelly Pulley:

• How My Pit Bulls Taught Me the Importance of Diversity
• Do Pit Bulls Need a Certain Type of Owner? In My Opinion, Yes
• I Lost My Husband to His Midlife Crisis, But There Was No Way He Was Taking the Dogs With Him