I recently discovered a very cool blog, Phetched. It features all kinds of great, fun, gorgeous, chic items for dogs, and it’s a terrific read, too: Blogster Katherine’s writing is as hip, stylish, and entertaining as the products she writes about.

While I was sniffing around Phetched the other day, I noticed a couple of chic poop-scooping products. I never knew scooping dog poop could be such a fashion-forward moment. I decided to nose around the internet for items of the same ick-free ilk.

Among the more fashionable — if fictional — pooper-scoopers I found was Barbie’s scooper for Tanner, her yellowish lab. You’ll see it in the above commercial for this dynamic duo. It’s a lovely blue and lavender device, and seems kind of like a vacuum, which is bizarre enough. But what’s really weird and gross is that she feeds Tanner treats, Tanner poops them out, and guess what? She feeds Tanner what the poor dog has pooped out, as if they are suddenly treats again! Where I come from they have a fancy name for that: Corprophagia. Barbie should not need a pooper scooper if her dog eats its own poop.

But I digress.

One fashionable poop-scooping device down, six to go:

Nothing says “poop” like genuine Swarovski crystals — 2,000 of them, to be exact. You’ll shimmer your way toward your dog’s duty with this $244 poop-bag dispenser.

Right before my dog poops, the first thing I think is, “If only I had a mink holder for my poop bags!” Minks will be glad to know they have given their life for such a noble cause. This one’s a steal, at $72.

The K-Rosco Dog-Walking Utility Jacket is the perfect gift for the avid dog-lover. It has utterly everything you could need, from treat-holders to all kinds of layers and warmth. And best of all for the purposes of this blog, it has a pocket with a built-in poop-bag dispenser! It’s the pocket you see above with the dark thing coming out of it. Kinda looks like.. Er, never mind… You get this entire jacket and all its other layers of jackets and compartments for $250 — the same price as the crystal poop-bag dispenser above.

These Dog Poo Bags from Germany aren’t really as fashionable as they are fun. Eight different designs and phrases (one or two are not necessarily fit for G-rated audiences) make you almost want to be seen scooping your dog’s poop. They’re great ice-breakers (literally, if you use Poop Freeze).

It’s in fashion to buy biodegradable products. And not only are these poop bags biodegradable, but they’re colorful, and apparently they also smell pretty good. Each color has its unique scent. There’s citrus, floral, rainforest, lavender, and ocean. (Ocean?) You might even find yourself sniffing your dog’s used bag enroute to the nearest garbage can. That is most decidedly not a fashion statement.