When I decided I wanted a dog, I had all the best intentions of doing everything by the book — buying only the healthiest dog foods, providing the “proper” training recommended by top animal experts, and establishing that I was the pack leader. This would be my dog and I would love it, but it would be a pet and nothing more, I thought.
Then I actually got a dog.
The beginning of our relationship started out fine as I established some rules for what Obi should and shouldn’t be doing. No human food (I’d seen what happens when dogs eat too many bacon scraps), no climbing on the couch (boundaries need to be established!), and no sleeping in the bed. This wasn’t his house, after all. It was mine.
Yet his cuteness proved to be my kryptonite. All of those rules were broken within weeks, and now he all but rules the house. He dictates when we wake up, he watches TV, he even knows how to dance.
I think he’s going to be the first dog to evolve into a human. Here are 10 reasons why:
1. My dog dines at the table
It’s only an occasional thing, but it still happens. Obi sees us sitting at the table and thinks he gets to sit with us, too — because he thinks he’s one of us. Who are we to tell him otherwise?
2. My dog seems to express human emotion
Perhaps you’ve seen the dog who smiles when he’s given his birthday dinner. Well, Obi’s perfected the side-eye –- that look you usually get from people when you’re doing something and they wish you would stop.
His side-eye has gotten so good that it’s convinced my grandma that he’s always judging her. Sometimes it’s enough to make her stop whatever she’s doing (like eating) and continue in another room.
3. My dog eats people food
Despite my rule of never allowing him human food, I learned that many types of people food are totally fine for dogs. Cue me sharing my breakfasts with him. Some of Obi’s favorites include apples, bananas, and peanut butter. His preference is factored in when I go grocery shopping. Can’t forget to pick up an extra apple for Obi!
4. My dog has a wardrobe
I’ve written about it before, but seriously, his clothes are getting out of hand. For his birthday, he was recently given a set of pajamas. Let me repeat that: Obi has his own set of pajamas. I do not have a complete set of pajamas. My dog does.
5. My dog can talk on the phone
Well, sort of. If you hold the phone up to him, he’ll bark into the receiver. Close enough.
6. My dog takes care of others
Even though my grandparents feel they’re dog-sitting him, I think he actually might be grandparent-sitting them. He keeps them entertained all day long and listens to their stories. He snuggles them. He takes them for walks.
When I pick him up after work to bring him home, he’s utterly exhausted and falls asleep in the car, just like a busy babysitter would.
7. My dog trains his humans
It started out innocently enough when my aunt began to teach Obi to give her a high-five. Obi learned to put his paw in the air in return for a delicious dog cookie. The roles, however, have reversed. Without prompting, Obi now runs to my aunt, raises his paw at her, and waits patiently until she gives him a treat. Has she really trained him? Or is Obi the one who decides when he gets a cookie?
8. He had his own birthday party
Just a few weeks ago, Obi turned one. A birthday wouldn’t have been complete without a party. Invitations, decorations, gifts, a cake — I’m pretty sure Obi had a better first birthday than I did.
9. My dog walks on his hind legs
Sure, most dogs do this, especially if they’re doing it as part of a trick. Obi sometimes decides he’s tired of walking on all fours and just walks upright.
10. My dog has his own Facebook page
There are updates and photos and friends. It won’t be long now until he’s become addicted to social networking, and then there will be no stopping him.
I’m not entirely sure how much longer we have until his transformation from dog to human is complete, but I’ll tell you one thing: The moment he starts to speak English, I’m outta here.
Is your dog turning into a human, too? How so? Let us know in the comments!
Got a Doghouse Confessional to share?
We’re looking for intensely personal stories from our readers about life with their dogs. E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org, and you might become a published Dogster Magazine author!