Hi, I’m Dr. Maja! Read my introduction to learn more about me and my two crossbreed dogs, Lava and Hela.

Lava is a menace. One that I love very much. But, can she be trusted? Absolutely not. She is the worst. If there is an opportunity to “escape” and check out what is lurking in the distance, she’ll take it. She always has a good reason to disregard me and my calling, breaking my trust in her, as she is just too big of an adrenaline junkie.

Lava Is An Explorer At Heart

Always up to something, Lava is a great adventurer. Every time I start thinking she is getting so much better, with almost perfect recall and such keen interest in my presence during our walks (due to the treats I carry, of course), she does something to “knock me off my feet,” so to speak, and undermine my trust in her. It’s nothing huge, but with me being such a worrier, it doesn’t take a lot to cause me anxiety.

How I Lost My Voice

Two years ago, I took Lava on a small hiking trip up a nearby hill. Around 2 hours walk up, and a bit less down. Just the two of us, and the forest was peaceful and quiet, with autumn colors and fallen leaves. It was beautiful. And she was so well behaved off the lead, but wearing her GPS tracker. She was returning to me with so much enthusiasm for her treats, and keeping an eye on my whereabouts. It was almost too good to be true. And then, my worst nightmare came true. Suddenly, before I could even properly react (and even if I could have, she would have run off instantly), she was gone. Her nose was low on the ground and she was clearly following a very exciting trail. A few minutes later, I couldn’t see her anymore and couldn’t keep up, but I could hear her excited barking in the distance. She encountered wildlife, I suspect a wild boar.

Thirty minutes later or so, I was messaging a friend to get the kettle on, as I needed a warm drink. My voice was gone from calling Lava. She returned finally, very proud of herself, luckily with no wounds or evidence of any physical trauma, but so content. And I was praising her for her return, faking joy to the point it was even believable, while deep down I wanted to kill her there and then. Okay, maybe not kill her, just disown. My friend was laughing.

The Grass Is Always Greener On the Other Side

Similar things happen where we live now. My neighbor, the only one for miles, has five dogs, a bunch of chickens, and a herd of sheep. And for Lava, this is like a rollercoaster park! It beats all the fun, games, walks, and treats I could ever possibly offer. Every few days, when I let my guard down, she runs off to greet the dogs and try and play. Fortunately, she hasn’t tried to attack any of his livestock, and the neighbors’ dogs are very protective of their herd, but as you can now guess, that’s my biggest concern. It’s interesting: the sheep love to come to my land thinking the grass must be better this side of the valley, while Lava loves their place, not wanting to miss out on all the fun they must be having. Animals, strange beings indeed.

It Seems to Be Getting Better Until It Isn’t

Since having Lava and battling the strong urge to keep calling her whenever she goes off on her little ventures, my voice has never been the same. I am trying to learn to let go, as she always comes back and there is no traffic where we are, but the worry burns inside like a freshly lit fire. It’s hard to contain it. It’s not as bad as it was years ago, but she is still a wanderer at heart and I doubt this will ever change.

Trust Is Difficult to Earn

Some days I find myself trusting her a little bit more, just to take it all back. She always gets that mischievous look on her face just as she’s ready to bugger off, and it all happens in a matter of seconds. I have no time to react. And even if I did, I couldn’t stop her. After all, she has a mind of her own. But at the end of the day, she is fairly gentle and has never harmed another animal so far. As much as I battle letting go and learning to trust her, or as they say, fake it ‘til you make it, it’s proving very challenging. But seeing her so free and at peace does give me a dose of contentment and even pride.