Bonding With a Dog Isn't Always Easy: Lava's Journey & Mine

Hi, I’m Dr. Maja! Read my introduction to learn more about me and my two crossbreed dogs, Lava and Hela.

Puppies are cute and lovable. It’s impossible not to get attached to them. I’ve had several dogs so far, and besides Hela, who came to me as an adult, all were puppies. And all stole my heart so easily in the first few days. All except Lava. The strangest thing happened with this puppy, and it wasn’t love at first sight.

Emotional Confusion and the Cutest Puppy

If someone had told me that it would take me almost two years to start loving a dog profoundly, I would have laughed at them. Dogs have been my whole life, and my usual problem is that I get attached to them so easily. But then things were not easy with Lava, and some were out of my hands. After all, you can’t rush yourself into feeling something that isn’t there yet.

When Lava came into my life as the most adorable puppy ever, I was still grieving the loss of my previous dog. And the presence of this super cute but stubborn and energetic puppy reminded me of everything my old girl wasn’t. I tried finding ways to bond with her, but it felt strangely disappointing that she couldn’t fulfill any of my expectations. She was not cuddly but was obsessed with all dogs she encountered, being mischievous, and attempting to run off at first chance. Not run off as in to escape forever, just run off to have as much fun as possible, without being restricted by leads or commands. And I was used to my old girl following me around constantly and never letting me out of her sight.

Clash Of the Two Characters

Soon enough I realized that Lava and I are actually quite similar in character and temperament. And this was probably another big part of the problem. Both stubborn and wanting things to play out exactly how we want it, controlling the situation, and not easily taking on others’ views. At times it even felt as if Lava had the strong urge to openly contradict me by doing the very opposite of what I asked her to do. Don’t get me wrong, this is the puppy I spent a good part of two years doing recall and obedience training with. Using a long lead, treats of various flavors and textures (even frozen wet food snacks that would melt in my pockets), taking her on hiking trips, and trying dog park socialization. Until it suddenly hit me. It’s time to stop wanting to control her, and to start trusting her. This was a difficult thing to realize and is still something I struggle with.

When Things Slowly Started to Change

When Lava was two years old, I badly broke my wrist during one of our walks. It was solely my fault, but her long lead was involved. This was the most difficult time, and I didn’t even blame the dog, I just felt that our relationship was not meant to be joyous for me. It felt like I was being punished, and as if the two of us just couldn’t connect. And this was such a blow.

Soon after, Lava started to calm down, being able to pick up on my injury, meaning our walks and routine had changed significantly for the following 3 months. Instead of her running off having fun, and me trying to get her attention, she started to seek me out more. As if she finally understood that I felt like I failed at this attempt to form a bond with her and was almost ready to give up. I would never have given her away, as I was responsible for her happiness and well-being for as long as she lived, but it felt as if this relationship would be a one-sided one. However, slowly she stopped running away from me. Looking back at this period now, I remember how she began spending more time in my lap, although she is quite heavy, accepting cuddles and even requesting them with her big paws. Lying in awkward poses as if she knew it would put a smile on my face. And being very gentle around my arm cast.

Finally, Love

Now, things are very different. It feels like everything fell into place after the accident, and Lava and I have finally developed a bond that is the most special one I have experienced with a dog so far. We have this silent understanding, to the point that she knows exactly how I feel or what I want from just looking at me, and she knows how to get under my skin, even if she’s done something very naughty. Don't get me wrong, she is still the most stubborn dog I have ever had, and very disobedient, trying to run off into the woods almost every day, with me worrying about her safety. But I know she will always come back to me, and she knows I am her home.