Photoshop | Photoshop Photoshop en-us Tue, 29 May 2012 03:00:00 -0700 Tue, 29 May 2012 03:00:00 -0700 Orion <![CDATA[The Dogs of Food TV: Anthony Bourdain, Ted Allen, Rachael Ray, and More]]> Call us barking mad, but the latest in our doggie Photoshop series takes on the vibrant world of celebrity food personalities. Though it could seem mean on the surface, it’s all in good fun. It’s an easy metaphor to make, after all: Like our favorite breeds, our most popular TV chefs all have distinctive personality traits and quirks that either endear them to people instantly or that foster a love-to-hate relationship.

Check out these hot dogs and let us know what you think. Have we left out a favorite food personality? Tell us what sort of dog you think they would be in the comments.

1. Anthony Bourdain, omnivore author and host of The Layover and No Reservations: Pit Bull

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Snarly and growly on the outside, but only to scare away the weak people. Like the Tootsie Pop, there’s the sweetest possible center.

2. Mario Batali, restaurateur and host of ABC’s The Chew: Saint Bernard

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Ruddy and ready for palling around or getting some serious work done.

3. Padma Lakshmi, author and host of Bravo’s Top Chef: Afghan Hound

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Regal and loyal, but not always the quickest wit in the dog park.

4. Paula Deen, restaurateur, author, and host of Paula’s Home Cooking, Paula’s Best Dishes, and Paula’s Party: Komondor

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Guards family with amazing fierceness for such a cuddly creature. Can also hide a lot of fattening foods under that fantastic mop.

5. Tom Colicchio, restaurateur and host of Bravo’s Top Chef: English Mastiff

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A bighead who doesn’t always know his own brute strength. Can have trouble hiding his true affectionate side.

6. Nigella Lawson, author and television personality: Cocker Spaniel

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Watch out for this pretty lady, who looks demure but hides the heartiest of appetites. She might eat everything in sight if not monitored.

7. Jamie Oliver, food activist and television personality: Golden Retriever

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Everyone’s buddy and pal, who can also get down to business when required.

8. Martha Stewart, CEO, multimedia and television personality: English Bulldog

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Amiable and dignified, yet also aggressive and daunting. This classic specimen is yin and yang in a powerful package.

9. Ted Allen, former Queer Eye food guy, now author and host of Chopped on Food Network: Papillon

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Classy, sometimes pampered, and always inquisitive -- or maybe that’s just the adorably innocent-looking features.

10. Rachael Ray, Every Day with Rachael Ray magazine author and food TV personality: Chihuahua

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This cute but sometimes vicious one is tiny but yappingly loud. The smallest breed makes one of the biggest impressions.

11. Gordon Ramsay, restaurateur and host of Kitchen Nightmares and Hell’s Kitchen: Rottweiler

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Cross this beast at your own peril and plunder. But on the flipside, his true friends get to see the tender underbelly to his personality.

That was fun, huh? Now check out The Dogs of Mad Men, The Dogs of Downton Abbey, and The Dogs of Game of Thrones.

All artistic manipulations by the talented Audrey Fukuman.

Tue, 29 May 2012 03:00:00 -0700 /lifestyle/the-dogs-of-food-tv-anthony-bourdain-ted-allen-rachel-ray
<![CDATA[Mitt Romney and the Fallen Republican Candidates as Dogs! Oh, and Obama and Biden, Too]]> Well, the race to win the Republican Party's nomination is all but over. Mitt Romney is poised to win Best in Show after surviving a primary in which the GOP candidates often behaved like animals. Voters didn't seemed entirely thrilled with Romney, but hey, at least he was already housebroken.

Check out which canine breeds the Republican candidates reminded us of and what breeds the Democratic nominee and his runningmate belong to.

1. Mitt Romney: Pekingese

Republican; former Massachusetts governor

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High-maintenance, fickle, and snobby, they’re used to a regal standard of living that is probably foreign to most breeds. When indoors, they prefer the comforts of a mansion. If traveling, they’ll tolerate the backseat of a Cadillac to show they share the values of the common man

Editor's Note: After Romney's infamous mistreatment of his family dog, we're not sure he deserves to be a dog to begin with and apologize to Pekingese pups everywhere. But we couldn't leave him off this list.

2. Rick Santorum: German Shepherd

Republican; former Pennsylvania senator 

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A very masculine dog that enjoys traditional heterosexual breeding rituals. Its aggressive instincts can turn off some people, but it’s ultimately a good family dog (just don’t Google its name). Clearly a product of intelligent design. 

3. Newt Gingrich: Boxer 

Republican; former House Speaker

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Funny-looking and headstrong, they occasionally need to be put in their place when trying to shut down the government. Has a strong affinity for women with bad hairdos

4. Ron Paul: Jack Russell Terrier

Republican; member of the U.S. House of Representatives, representing Texas

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Obviously intelligent and obviously eccentric. Prone to seeing conspiracies where they don’t exist, such as the conniving delegation of foreign-born foxes he believes live under the couch cushions that pose a threat to the sovereignty of your apartment. 

5. Barack Obama: Australian Shepherd

Democrat; president of the United States

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Always the smartest dog in the room. His intelligence can inspire, but his aloofness strikes some as off-putting. Can get stir crazy when trapped inside the Beltway for too long. 

6. Joe Biden: Pomeranian

Democrat; vice president of the United States

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“Yap yap yap, look at me! Yap yap yap, why aren’t you looking at me? Yap yap yap, if you don’t pay attention to me I’m going to say something TOTALLY CRAZY!”

All artistic manipulation by the awesome Audrey Fukuman.

See more from Dogster's doggie photoshop series: The Dogs of Downton Abbey, The Dogs of Mad Men, and The Dogs of Game of Thrones

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 03:00:00 -0700 /lifestyle/mitt-romney-and-the-fallen-republican-candidates-as-dogs-oh-and-obama-and-biden-too
<![CDATA[The Dogs of Game of Thrones]]> Game of Thrones? More like Game of BONES! This is Dogster so you know we had to take Westeros and turn it over to the dogs! This season we expect to see more intrigue, brutality, and boobs than you can shake a bully stick at. Here are our picks for who would represent these lords and ladies in the K9 kingdom. 

Tyrion Lannister is a Corgi

Youngest son of Lord Tywin Lannister and brother to Jaime and Cersei. Short in stature but large in wit.

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Smart—too smart. Can be made crazy if not given an important job and enough enrichment. Wants to please his master and be told he's a good boy. 

Jaime Lannister is a Border Collie

Elder son of Lord Tywin Lannister, Cersei's twin and secret lover. Grody!

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Very talented and brave, and loves to be around his family. Maybe a little too much. Especially re: sister.

Cersei Lannister is an Afghan Hound

Self-serving and manipulative wife of King Robert Baratheon, mother to Joffrey, and Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. Doing it with her twin brother. Did we say grody?

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Aloof, but dignified. Independent with strong desire to be their own master. 

Catelyn Tully is a Sussex Spaniel

Honorable and faithful wife of Lord Eddard Stark and mother to the Stark children.

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Wise, calm under pressure, protective of family, and you know would give the best advice if they could talk. 

Jon Snow is a Husky

Bastard son of Eddard Stark by an unknown mother, now serving on the Night's Watch. Total stud. 

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Just wants to fit in but will lead and fight back if necessary. Protective of those they care about; can be stubborn to a fault. Athletic, would love nothing better than to run with the familial pack. 

Petyr Baelish is a Shiba Inu

Conniving master of coin, and member of the council for the king. 

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Very clever and sly, will do just about anything for a treat. Squirrels treats and toys away and you'll never, ever be able to find them—that's because they're smarter than you are. You think you're training them, but they're actually training you. 

Arya Stark is a Miniature Pinscher 

Youngest daughter of Eddard Stark and Catelyn Tully. Tomboy more interested in sword fighting than in needlepoint.

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Loves the outdoors and always seeking adventure. Assertive, outgoing, and independent. Loves to escape. 

Sansa Stark is a Puggle

Spoiled eldest daughter of Lord Eddard Stark and Lady Catelyn Tully, betrothed to King Joffrey. Longs for a life of courtly romance.

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Classic lap dog. Loves to be waited on and wants to live a life of extreme comfort. Attention-craving, and can become sullen when not completely coddled.

Joffrey Baratheon is a Chow Chow

Elder son of King Robert Baratheon and Queen Cersei Lannister, now serving as king. Total twerp, we don't like him.

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Authoritative, and loyal to one person. Shows teeth easily so tread lightly. If not given proper guidance and leadership, can be jealous, irritable, and obstinate. 

Daenerys Targaryen is a Pit Bull

Only daughter of Aerys II Targaryen and Rhaella Targaryen, living in exile among the Dothraki. Pretty much a beautiful badass who loves being naked.  

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Good leader, loyal and kind, great with dragons/kids, will fight for those they care about. Can easily be taken advantage of because they're very trusting.

All photoshop manipulations courtesy the talented Audrey Fukuman.

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Liked this? Check out The Dogs of Mad Men and The Dogs of Downton Abbey

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 03:00:00 -0700 /lifestyle/the-dogs-of-game-of-thrones
<![CDATA[Dogster Magazine Presents: The Dogs of Mad Men]]> Editor's Note: Wow, you guys really dig canine heads on human bodies. Who knew?!

The latest in our doggie photoshop series is The Dogs of Game of Thrones (pictured at left). And in case you missed it, there's also The Dogs of Downton Abbey. Don't worry, we are going to move out of the TV shows soon. But not before we do the Dogs of Mad Men: 

After what seemed like ten million billion years but was actually only seventeen months, Mad Men is FINALLY back for another season of repressed insanity. We're celebrating by imagining the sexy sexists from the '60s as some of our favorite dog breeds. Ready? Here we go.

1. Don Draper: Vizsla

Partner and creative director at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce; devastatingly handsome but persistently unfaithful; dynamite ad man

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Attractive, active, and cunning, with a strong survival instinct. Vizslas get bored with repetitive exercises and ignore commands if they find something more interesting.

2. Betty Francis, previously Betty Draper: Pomeranian

Formerly unhappily married to Don, with whom she has three children. Now divorced and unhappily remarried to political PR guy Harry Francis.

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Unambitious, yet somewhat put-upon. Becomes crazed if ignored. 

3. Sally Draper: Cocker spaniel puppy

Don and Betty's oldest child, thus often understandably baleful and a little weird. 

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All-American inbred who's a bit of a loose cannon. Adorable but unpredictable. Thrives with discipline, but may act out in an unstable home.

4. Roger Sterling: Weimaraner

Partner at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce and son of Sterling Cooper founder

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Playful troublemaker. When untrained and unconfined, Weimaraners create their own fun. They can be highly focused, but display behavioral issues as a result of isolation and inferior mental or physical exercise. Despite all this, they're still slightly lazy.

5. Joan Harris, née Holloway: Australian Shepherd

Office manager at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce; former lover of Roger Sterling; married to Army surgeon Greg Harris

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Beautiful, showy, and a natural herder. Can become extremely destructive if her energy is not directed in a positive way.

6. Pete Campbell: Basenji

Youngest, pushiest partner at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce

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Ambitious and independent, Basenjis are very clever at getting their own way. They have a strong prey drive, chasing after fast-moving, flashy, and perceived weaker objects that cross their paths.

7. Trudy Campbell: Chihuahua

Pete's dutiful and adoring wife; mother of their baby daughter

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Dainty and perceived as prissy, but knows how to get what she wants. This breed often comes in a pretty package, but don't mistake them for weaklings.

8. Peggy Olson: Beagle

Secretary and junior copywriter who worked her way up to play a leading creative role as a founding member of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce with Don's support

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Loyal to Don, her boss/owner, with good tracking instincts. Very intelligent but, as a result of being bred for the long chase, Beagles are single-minded and determined, which can make them hard to train -- although this is pretty much a good thing.

9. Lane Bryce: Cavalier King Charles Spaniel

Financial whiz and partner at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce

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English, pushy, and a little weird. Typically have eye issues.

10. Bertram "Bert" Cooper: Powderpuff Chinese Crested Dog

Founder and senior partner of Sterling Cooper; co-founder and often-shoeless eminence grise of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce

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Somewhat unattractive and so often ignored, Chinese Cresteds are active and alert, even though they may appear a little deranged. 

11. Harry Crane: Yellow Labrador Retriever

Puppyish head of media at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce

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This breed just wants everyone to be happy, but also wants the most pets. 

12. Ken Cosgrove: Borzoi

Literary-minded account executive at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce

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Unassuming but efficient and reliable. Creative and independent thinker; would probably make a fine novelist. And, of course, has chiseled features and a nice wave to the hair.

All artistic manipulations courtesy of the awesome Audrey Fukuman.

Sun, 25 Mar 2012 23:50:00 -0700 /lifestyle/the-dogs-of-mad-men