Here are five ways we do it.

1. Scratching

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Spot thought bubble: Give me 10 more scratchies. You can do it!

Several times a day, Spot jumps up into my lap for scratchies. He likes me to scratch and rub the back of his neck, which requires me to flex my forearm muscles repeatedly until he tires of the attention. Who needs dumbbells when you have Boston Terriers?

2. Chasing

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Dolly thought bubble: Tag. You're it!

Dolly loves to chase me. In our current home, I have a clear, circular route -- once all of the toys have been picked up, that is -- through the living room, office, kitchen, and dining room. I change directions several times during a game of chase, which kind of makes it like sprinting, right? Sprints count as cardio!

3. Walking

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Spot thought bubble: Ready for your workout?

Of course I know that walking equals exercise, but I realized that the way we do it actually resembles the type of dance-aerobics classes I avoid because they make me feel out of shape and uncoordinated.

During our afternoon walk around the neighborhood, Spot and Dolly get to sniff and pee on whatever they like until we reach the halfway point. This keeps my arms and legs moving as I spin around and adjust leashes so no one trips. Lest you think I don't know how to "properly" walk my pups, on the way back we move briskly down the sidewalk without distraction.

4. Fetching

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Spot thought bubble: Throw it! You need the exercise, lady.

As I have written about several times before, Spot loves to fetch. We usually start with me sitting in my comfy patio chair, but eventually the ball gets so coated with slobber and dirt that I stand up to kick instead of throw it.

I alternate hands and feet during our game to avoid straining a particular side -- laugh all you like, but I still feel the Frisbee injury that happened two summers ago -- and I push my muscles to get him the distance he deserves.

5. Dancing

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Dancing cheek to cheek with my sweet Dolly girl.

I rarely dance in public, but we shake our groove thang all the time at home. Spot and Dolly bounce at my feet until one gets picked up to twirl with me from room to room. Spot weighs 21 pounds and Dolly just a bit more. How could my moves not count as exercise?

While I know that none of the above will help me drop a dress size, these activities do get me moving. Spot and Dolly enjoy them, too. Though, when Dolly hears the opening notes of "Dancing Queen" for the umpteenth time, I imagine her thought bubble says something like, "Enough with the disco! Can we get some JT, please?"

Let's hear from you, readers. Do you exercise with your dogs, accidentally or otherwise? Tell us all about it -- and post photos of your workout partners -- in the comments!

Looking for more stories about the lighter side of pet parenting? Check these out:

• "5 Stupid Questions I Ask My Dogs on a Daily Basis"
• "The Four Parts of My Dogs' Bodies That I'm Obsessed With"
• "5 Nice Things I Can't Have Because I Have Dogs"

But sometimes dogs have funny reactions to farts, like this dog who thinks the sounds of a fart machine are her own confused creation. Sometimes dogs are genuinely startled by their own farts, stirring themselves from their own slumber, as if awaking to an earthquake.

So let's see if these dogs can solve the mystery of who farted:

Whoa! What was that?

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Photo by Nathan Laurell

Something just happened!

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Photo by sunsets_for_you

Did you hear it?

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Photo by danlentz

I heard it!

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Photo by Listen Missy!

I didn't hear it, but I can smell it.

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Photo by smooshmasterflex

Yikes, that smells bad!

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Photo by Muffet

I think it was this guy.

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Photo by abbynormy

Or maybe it was the baby.

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Photo by uzi978

Or the cat.

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Photo by wmshc_kiwi

Oh no -- wait. Yeah. It was definitely me.

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Photo by GabrielaP93

Read more dog-centric humor on Dogster:

• We Interpret 7 Wacky Medieval Dog Illustrations
• Why I'm No Longer a High-End Dog Walker
• 10 Ways My Dog Is Becoming Human

1. Bagpiping dog

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Hours, England ca. 1300.

This is a bagpiping dog. We have no idea why the bag of his pipe is made of a cat, or why he seems so enthralled with his song -- or why the cat seems to be attached to his stomach -- but we do know that he's starving. Look at those ribs! He's also playing the wrong instrument. He has the fingers of a pianist.

2. Killer rabbit and praying dog

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La Somme le Roy, France ca. 1290-1300.

This appears to be a dog pleading for his life to a rabbit with an axe. This was drawn shortly after rabbits learned to use weapons to defend themselves against dogs, who chased them throughout the Dark Ages with impunity. We'd like to think this dog came out okay. Have you ever seen a dog this cute pray? Surely the rabbit gave him a Milk Bone and sent him on his way.  

3. Fish-rabbit and fish-dog

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Summer volume of the Breviary of Renaud/Marguerite de Bar, Metz ca. 1302-1305.

Ah, the other side of the coin, with the fish-dog chasing the fish-rabbit. Why are they half-fish? Looks like some happy-go-lucky scribe was partaking of the herbal remedies a wee bit too much.

4. Ye gods! Another savage rabbit!

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Gorleston Psalter, England 14th century.

Goddamned rabbits again! Look at this heathen, preparing to slice this poor dozing dog to pieces with a knife -- or maybe that is a length of cow intestine, knowing these disturbed medieval scribes. (We're only showing you the dog pictures, but based on some of the other pictures, these people would rule today's horror industry.)

5. Breast-dog

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Book of Hours, Paris ca. 1480.

I suppose it had to come to this. A dog with two legs, a woman's breast sprouting from his back, and the tail of a lizard. Breast-dog must have been quite popular in disreputable taverns in the wee hours of night. (Sorry.)  

6. Just awful

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‘Tristan de Léonois’. Arras ca. 1285-1290.

Just a dog on a ram's back, holding a sword, heading off to joust an unknown assailant, probably the Mountain That Rides, terrified. Look at the way he's holding that sword. Somebody certainly never taught this dog to joust. This will not end well. I hope milady is happy.

7. Ye royal food taster 

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Richard de Fournival, Bestiaire d’Amour, Lorraine 14th century.

Ah, some things never change. A vomiting dog. Perhaps he had just tasted the night's soup? They couldn't even microwave a hot dog properly back then. 

Photos via Discarding Images

Like us, dogs can't wait for the season to turn in earnest, bringing with it sunny days, a renewed sense of vitality, and the promise of summer. In particular, dogs can't wait to do these 10 things in spring:

1. Shed that winter coat

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Photo by _tar0_

This applies to dogs of the double coat variety, but man, it's been a bummer carrying all that extra fur around, are we right? Not to mention it adds, like, five extra pounds to your frame, and if it's not groomed properly can just appear unseemly.

2. Enjoy more daylight

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Photo by johnqs

Which means more time in the day to nap in sun puddles, fetch sticks, go on long walks, play with the human friends, and harass the cat.

3. Nap in the sunshine

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Photo by lhiltpix

Longer daylight hours and warmer weather have dogs everywhere clearing their agendas and writing in, "Take a six-hour nap." 

4. Play in the mud

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Photo by Aggarwal_Gopal

As the snow melts and the rain falls, all that exposed dirt is just ripe for epic mud puddles. Free of the burden of her winter coat, the dog now relishes any chance to roll around in dirt soup.

5. Roll in the grass

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Photo by helena.40proof

An extension of rolling in the mud, as grass casts off its icy prison, new, fresh, soft lawns reveal themselves … we believe it is dog law that compels canines to roll around in grass as well as mud.

6. Eat the grass after rolling in it

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Photo by ajball90

Mmm, fresh, sweet grass to eat and then hack up violently on the rug! Perfect, right? Who doesn't love a good belly-clutching yack on the rug?

7. Go to the beach

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Photo by uberphot

Well, all right, it's not quite warm enough for the beach yet, but at least the dream is a little closer to reality.

8. Go swimming

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Photo by pmarkham

Because swimming is fun!

9. Smell new smells

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Photo by Anna Majkowska

Flowers are blooming! Which bring with them a whole new bouquet of delicious smells to investigate. What's the story, Morning Glory?

10. Puppies!

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Photo by Kiwi NZ

Okay, this one is for us more than the dogs. Spring is typically when animals have babies, and everyone loves puppies!

Can't get enough spring puppies? Here are more puppies! While springtime is great and exciting, it can also pose a host of hazards to your dog, so make sure you read up on them. Even though it's April Fool's Day today, do not prank these serious dogs -- you will be sorry.

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"Studying pays off." Dog and Books by Shutterstock

We've uncovered the never-before-seen-by-human-eyes Fanglish dictionary and are cautiously divulging a few terms from its contents. If our dogs knew about this breach, we'd certainly have to sleep with one eye open.

1. Dinner and a show

A dog's act of cleaning his rear in full view of a human's dinner party guests.

The lady was embarrassed when Charlie's dinner and a show distracted her guests from their flank steak.

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"Don't mind me." Bulldog Licking Himself by Shutterstock

We've managed to remove the layer of dog fur from the sofa, we've exhibited our most impressive school-of-Trader-Joe's knowledge of wines, and just as we've sat down to enjoy that no-fail dish that always dazzles guests, we hear the telltale lick, lick, lick. Everyone looks over to see Charlie, already savoring his first course.

2. Deja shoe

A dog's feeling he's already smelled a particular shoe.

Max experienced deja shoe when he stuck his nose inside the lady's loafer.

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"Yes, I am familiar." Dog Lying on Shoes by Flickr Creative Commons

Footwear is a major magnet for doggy noses, so they'll look for any opportunity to dive in for a lingering whiff, sometimes even falling asleep with their face flat against the foulness. They don't care one bit whether or not they've already experienced relations with a particular shoe.

3. Bum-rush

A dog's desire to sniff any bottom with which he comes in contact.

Molly bum-rushed Grandma Stella on Easter.

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"What's up, chicken butt?" Dog Sniffing Chicken by Flickr Creative Commons

Dogs sniff other dogs' bottoms as a way to get to know each other, but they're also known to poke their nose against the rear-ends of non-dogs. In the case of humans, this is often followed by a surprised jump and possible exclamation.

4. Tiptoe-tinkle

A human's early morning attempt at quietly using the facilities, hoping not to alert the dog because breakfast is still two hours away.

Sophie was not fooled by the lady's tiptoe-tinkle and immediately started for the kitchen.

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"You're awake. Feed me." Dog Waking Up by Flickr Creative Commons

Dogs are smart, but they can't tell time. So if it's anywhere near the breakfast hour, they're going to go with their gut feeling and assume it must be food o'clock.

5. Adooration

A dog's anxious wait for a human at the front door.

Noodle's adooration at the end of the day was nearly palpable.

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"It's almost time. I know it." Dog Waiting at Door by Flickr Creative Commons

There's nothing more wonderful than walking up to the front door and seeing your beloved pooch's face excitedly staring at you through the window. And you can always tell how long they've been there based on the total area occupied by nose smudges.

6. Captive audience

A human who won't get up to do anything on her to-do list because an adorable dog is lying on her lap.

Roxy had a captive audience so she knew she could nap for a while.

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"You're not going anywhere."Dog Lying in Lap by Flickr Creative Commons

Seriously, who's going to do anything productive when they can sit cuddled up with a sweet pup? Dogs know this and stay put. And we usually don't argue. Dishes don't need washing, right? We'll eat off paper plates again tonight.

7. Peethagorean theorem

The equation which states that the total amount of time used while a dog sniffs before peeing is greater than the actual time spent urinating.

On every walk, Dixie correctly and easily proved the peethagorean theorem.

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"I'll even show my work." Cocker Spaniel Sniffing Grass by Flickr Creative Commons

This is true nearly 100 percent of the time. Dogs need the time to really explore their options before making the commitment to squat or lift a leg. It's just math -- don't try to argue with it.

8. Pupparazzi

The rush of dogs who are excited to greet a human.

The pupparazzi always greeted the man when he arrived home from work.

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"Look over here!" "No! Look over here!" Man and Dogs by Flickr Creative Commons

Who's happier to see us than dogs? They just can't get enough! They follow us around and constantly watch our every move. Truly, they're our biggest fans.

9. Opening act

The excitement and chaos that happens when a can or bag of food is opened.

Tonight's opening act was especially rousing because it was followed by beef and gravy.

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"I can hardly wait for the headliner." Dog Waiting in Kitchen by Flickr Creative Commons

Do your dogs race around and act crazy-excited when you're preparing their meal? You're not alone. This high-spirited opening act happens in homes around the world. The players may look different, but it's always entertaining.

10. Happy hour

A dog's discovery of an open toilet.

Dexter loved happening upon a surprise happy hour.

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"All I can drink!" Puppy Drinking from Toilet by Flickr Creative Commons

Dogs can't get enough cool toilet water. And how exciting to walk by the bathroom and notice a human's left the seat open! And a dog that's lucky enough to run across two refreshing bowls in one afternoon? That's called a 2-for-1 happy hour.

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"Enough studying. It's nap time." Lab With Glasses and Books by Shutterstock

Got anything to add to the Fanglish Dictionary? Tell us in the comments!

Read more humor posts by Angie Bailey:

• My Dog Went on Vacation -- And Sent Me These Postcards
• We Decode the facial Expressions of These 10 Dogs
• 10 Haiku Poems Written By Dogs

1. Pads to stop bleeding

I hope I never have to use this, but I’m glad I have it with me. This single-use mesh pouch stops bleeding. Should an emergency occur, remove the PetClot from the package, apply pressure to the wound, and the bleeding stops. I’ve actually been on a walk with my dog, Dexter, at the park where we gave this product to someone whose dog was bleeding profusely from the paw, having just stepped on something. She used it, stopped the bleeding, and headed to the vet.

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2. Tools for "ticking off"

Stop “tick taxis” in their tracks. Ticks can cling onto dogs and then hitch a ride into your home. Closely examine dogs before allowing them inside after a walk. Areas of interest include ears, face, eyelids, muzzle, and paws. One time, before I went the natural route, a tick adhered to my dog’s head and I thought it was a growth. That nasty thing was removed before he could infect. Two products I have in my dog’s first aid kit are TickSR and a Tick Key, which I have on my key ring as well. You use leverage to remove the entire tick; this is the kind of product that pays for itself the first time you use it.

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3. Wax for paw protection

Musher’s Secret is one of my favorite “must haves,” to the point I carry it around in my purse! It is a barrier, food-grade wax for dog paws/pads that acts as an invisible boot. It was developed in Canada for sledding dogs. Apply a thin coat on pads and between toes, weekly. It dries in seconds and does not stain, is nontoxic, non-allergenic, and ranges from $12 to $20, depending on size. Works well on hot pavement, sand, snow, ice, salt, and chemicals.

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Let no paw go without protection

4. Eye flush

To deal with dirt and debris in the eye post grooming, during allergy season, and even in the winter, an eye flush is a good first aid product to have on hand. Check with your vet on what to use, but I use a sterile buffered solution with purified water as its active ingredient.

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Keep those baby blues (or browns, greens) free of debris

5. Syringe

Ever have a sick dog while on vacation? Ugh. I have Mylanta on hand with a syringe anytime we travel, just in case. A syringe is helpful in administering liquid medications and accurately dosing cc’s. Just be sure your dog can take the medicine, how much to dose, and start getting him accustomed to the syringe with water alone. You don’t want to freak the pooch out the first time approaching him with a syringe filled with “boo boo” stuff. Bonus: We also used this with water when my last Cocker Spaniel was ill and wasn’t drinking. We’d give her a few cc’s every hour or so to prevent dehydration.

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Syringe by Shutterstock.

6. Calming formula

If you have a dog who fears lightning, fireworks, or loud noises and the anxiety wrap shirts have failed, Rescue Remedy is a handy product to have in stock. A few droplets in your dog’s water (note: syringe with water), takes the edge off an otherwise panicky situation. Again, check with your veterinarian before administering anything new.

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7. Vet wrap

Way too many people have a first aid kit with bandage material and everything, but sadly no vet wrap. Believe me, you'll be grateful for vet wrap the first time you need to use it. Some folks also keep a set of dog booties in their canine first aid kit, to protect cut or burned pads on the go (because carrying my dog out on a hiking trail isn’t my idea of fun). 

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8. Emergency contact information

When I had to evacuate my house within two hours of a potential flood, I thanked my lucky stars I had emergency info intact. Many friends and family members with pets were left scrambling for a place to go. Pet-friendly hotels within three hours of our home were booked solid. So now what?

Be sure to have somewhere to go for backup, a place to crash temporarily, and one that allows dogs. I’d have slept in my car in a vacant parking lot if I had to, but I didn’t. Dog-welcoming friends made our emergency escape feel more like a needed retreat. Happily, the majority of local emergency makeshift shelters allow pets –- as long as you have kennel and vaccine records. If you titer your dog, keep copies of those as well. 

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Dogs depend on us to have their first aid kit stocked

Finally, here are some other items that belong in your bag:

• Hydrogen peroxide, in case you have to induce vomiting
• Soft, comfy inflatable collar for injuries, rashes or post surgery
• Sterile water-based lubricant (such as KY Jelly) to help hold fur away from a wound
• Blanket to cover or carry pet
• Antibiotic creme

Did I miss any off-the-beaten path items? Bark at me in the comments below!

Read more on first-aid: 

• The Importance of Having a Dog First Aid Kit
• At-Home First Aid for a Dog Paw Injury
• 10 Ways to Dog-Proof Your Home and Avoid an Emergency Vet Visit

What if dogs could get even smarter by attending college and receiving degrees in their favorite subjects? Here are six degrees dogs might earn at Canine State University:

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"Bring on the pomp and circumstance!"Graduating Chihuahua by Shutterstock

1. Bachelor of Science in Blocking

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"I occupy space much more efficiently now!"

Dogs are pretty skilled at sprawling in exactly the path where we need to walk. And we've become masters at strategically stepping over them while balancing full laundry baskets and plates of food. Could these drowsy doggies barricade our walking routes any more skillfully?

In the blocking program, pooches study the science behind blocking and learn the body angles they must apply to most effectively occupy any given space. Lab fees extra.  

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"The degree of angles is critical." Dogs Lying on the Floor by Flickr Creative Commons

2. Bachelor of Arts in Staring 

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"My stare is masterful."

Dogs are no strangers to staring and get the most practice when there's some sort of food involved. However, do they sometimes stare to send us psychic messages to open the back door or pick up the treat jar? The novice gazer in the staring program will benefit from the extensive experience of the learned professors, and the practiced dogs will intensify and deepen their skills.

Classes include labs where dogs practice the basic "give me a bite" stare and move up to advanced techniques like "Please don't ever leave me alone again or I swear I'll die." These classes usually fill up quickly, so the university recommends registering as soon as they're available.  

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"I see myself at the top of the Dean's List." Dog Staring by Flickr Creative Commons

3. Bachelor of Arts in Hiding

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"Advanced hiding methods? Check!"

Dogs love to "borrow" items and tuck them away for safe-keeping, both indoors and outdoors. Lost a sock? Check the dog bed. Lost a pair of underwear? Check the toy basket. How about a sandal? Under the bush in the backyard, of course.

In the nationally recognized hiding program, dogs discover new and interesting methods for stowing away objects. Opportunities are available for studying abroad in an exchange program with European hiding students.   

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"I now have the skills to hide shoes in obscure outdoor locations." Dog and Shoe by Flickr Creative Commons

4. Master of Arts in Nickname-Acquiring

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"You can only keep track of three nicknames? You really need this program."

Honestly, how many nicknames do you have for your dog? Our dog's given nickname was Beau, but we rarely called him that and instead opted for nicknames like Sweety, Boom-Boom, and Pup-Pup. Because dogs are constantly acquiring new names, they need to apply critical thinking skills to remember them and discern which are new ones and which are just random, silly human words.

In the Master of Arts in Name-Acquiring, dogs learn these skills, along with extensive training in maintaining positive self-esteem while being called Mr. Fluffy and Smoochypants. 

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"Poofbutt? That's a new one, but OK!" Dog With Pricked Ears by Flickr Creative Commons

5. Doctor of Booty-Shaking

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"That's DOCTOR Booty-Shaker."

The jubilant shaking of a dog's hindquarters is a joyful thing to behold! The wagging can be as subtle as a gentle flip of the tail or as animated as an entire back-end super-shake. Sometimes it's a wonder they don't pull something!

In the booty-shaking program, canines study the history of the waggle and tail-thumping theory, and spend extensive hours in the lab. Upon graduation, these highly-trained pooches will be prepared to respond to any situation with the most suitable booty-shake. 

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"Now I have my own practice!" Dog Shaking Tail by Flickr Creative Commons

6. Bachelor of Arts in Speed-Eating

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"My skills are much more refined!"

Have you ever seen Kobayashi competitively devour hot dogs? Forget about it! You haven't seen anything until you've watched a dog go to town on a bowl of chow.

In the speed-eating program, dogs learn to focus while speed-eating. Instead of thoughtlessly inhaling the food, they'll learn Eastern meditative techniques to help them eat quickly while intentionally tasting each individual morsel. This in-demand program is the only one of its kind in the U.S. Kibble is included in the cost of tuition. 

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"The labs are fantastic!" Dog Eating by Shutterstock

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"Would you like a wallet-sized copy?" Puppy Graduation by Shutterstock

What type of degree would your dog earn and why? Tell us about it in the comments!

Read more funny dog posts:

• Why Is Moe the Dog Following Me on Instagram?
• We Decode the Facial Expressions of These 10 Dogs
• 5 Reality TV Shows That Would Be WAY Better With Dogs

I'd rather hang out with a dog than a celebrity any old day. They're way cooler than celebrities. In fact, I like to think they're just like US!

1. They swap clothes!

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Friends with cool clothes? Yes, please! Dog Wearing Shirt by Flickr Creative Commons

When I was in high school and college, I always shared clothes with my friends. And there was never any sort of time table for when we wanted the articles returned to us. Imagine my delight to learn dogs also swap threads with buddies! I'm totally inspired and may just call my old friend and see if she still has that awesome Police Synchronicity concert T from 1983. 

2. They shop!

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Who doesn't love service with a smile? Dog at Store by Flickr Creative Commons

Nothing's worse than receiving poor customer service. If I'm going to spend my money in an establishment, I want top-notch products and service. It's comforting to know dogs also expect high standards while shopping.

Just because we're humans, we shouldn't settle for cashiers talking on cell phones and clerks who don't smile. We want to be treated with the same level of service and respect dogs expect to receive. They are just like us, after all.

3. They don't judge food!

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5-second rule! Dog Eating Cracker by Flickr Creative Commons

I openly admit to eating a pretzel or chip that's freshly fallen on the floor. I don't care what science says -- I'm a staunch believer in the five-second rule, and I've never gotten sick from throwing back a floor-cracker. And now that I know dogs adhere to the same rule, I feel all the better for my occasional habit. 

4. They dance like no one's watching!

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Wheee! Dog Jumping by Flickr Creative Commons

I love to dance and never feel more fancy-free than when I'm listening to an outdoor concert and become intoxicated by the music and fresh air. I can't help but smile and dance!

I'm ecstatic to learn that dogs also like to jump outside with wild abandon. I feel so canine and I love it!

5. They share food!

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I love taking bites of everyone's dessert! Dog Looking at Plate by Flickr Creative Commons

I'm one of those people who asks for bites of dessert that don't belong to me. I'm not talking about some stranger's cheesecake, but if you're my dining partner and have a tasty-looking piece of chocolate cake, I'm going to come right out and ask for a nibble or three. And if you are my husband or child, I'll just take a bite without asking. Dogs are just like me, so now I don't feel rude. Thanks, dogs!

6. They're green!

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I care about the environment, too! Dog and Milk Jug by Flickr Creative Commons

My husband once told me his co-worker said, "I don't believe in recycling!" What's not to believe? It's not like the tooth fairy. Recycling is real, dude, and dogs are here to tell us it's cool to be kind to Mother Earth! I saw this photo of the Pug with the plastic milk jug and have never felt more green-tinged. That's right -- I recycle. Just like a dog.

7. They talk to strangers!

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Hey, I don't mind asking for things! Dog in Car by Flickr Creative Commons

Mom always said not to talk to strangers, but dogs say it's okay to make a new friend once in a while. You can even ask for stuff, and it's cool! I'm out of mustard and, for the first time ever, I don't feel panicky. I'll just go ask a stranger!

8. They get thirsty!

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I've seen people do that! Dog Drinking from Water Fountain by Flickr Creative Commons

I have to say I'm not a fan of water fountains. My whole family feels fine catching public refreshment, but I've just never been able to erase the image of the barrage of mystery lips that have touched the germy stainless steel. After learning that dogs couldn't care less about kissing the bacteria fountain, I guess I'm okay with it, too!  

Are your dogs just like you? Tell us about it in the comments! 

Read more funny posts by Angie Bailey:

• We Decode the Facial Expressions of These 10 Dogs
• 5 Reality Shows That Would Be WAY Better With Dogs
• 10 Haiku Poems Written by Dogs

Now I'm the mother of two teenagers and have wielded that saber a time or two. I suppose sassy mouths are in the genes.

Dogs can also work a look. They know we're total suckers and they know how to make the face that will garner them the desired results, which usually is food. It's rarely a secret when they're excited, and when they're feeling guilty, their sweet droopy little faces cannot tell a lie. Even though they sometimes think they're being slick, dogs are an easy read. Here are 10 dog faces, translated.

1. Really??

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"No." Dachshund in Overalls by Shutterstock

Do I look like a train engineer? Last time I checked, I can't even unfasten buttons, so now I'm stuck in this pinstriped catastrophe until your jollies have been fully acquired. And hey -- I think I heard the cat say he wanted to wear it this afternoon. 

2. YAY!

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"This is my favorite!" Corgi on a Walk by Flickr Creative Commons

Everywhere I look is YAY! So much sniffing to do and so many places to pee! And did you see that squirrel? I don't know where to look next! YAY!

3. What?

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"I have no idea what you're talking about." Terrier With Dirty Mouth by Flickr Creative Commons

Dirt on my mouth? What? I have no clue to what you're referring, good lady. I've been lying in the backyard sun all afternoon. What? You think I've been in the garden? You have a garden? I had no idea! You must show it to me sometime! What? I'm cute, right? Right?

4. Sneaky McSneakerson

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"I see you not seeing me." Sneaky Dog by Flickr Creative Commons

You thought I was busy chewing my Nylabone, but I saw you build a delicious-looking salami sandwich. I saw every tasty slice of meaty magic. And the cheese, too. Saw it. You need to go to the bathroom, don't you? You look like you're harboring a painfully full bladder. You really better run -- I hear you can get an infection trying to hold it for too long. You don't want to have to fuss around with any of that antibiotic business, do you? Don't worry -- I'll keep an eye on "things."

5. Can I be more clear?

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"Do you see my belly? Do you?" Dog Showing Belly by Flickr Creative Commons

Look at my face. Look at my belly. Do I have to grab your hand and place it directly on my favorite scratchy spot. I think you're smart enough to get it. I'll just wait right here. Not going anywhere. 

6. Indecision

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"Conundrum." Dog Looking at Flowers by Flickr Creative Commons

I'm intrigued by these flowers, yet torn. I can't decide if I'd rather eat them or lift my leg upon them. They look like they might taste delicious, and I'll bet they'd make pretty vomit, but dang it -- I've really got to go, and I just saw Monty pee on this very same pot. I don't think I can give up an opportunity to pee right on top of where he just went. I can eat flowers when I get home.

7. Not sleeping, really

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"Still awake." Bulldog Falling Asleep by Shutterstock

Me? Tired? No way. I'm wide awake. You see, if I fall asleep, I just might miss opportunities for treats, scraps dropping on the floor, tennis ball tosses, cat-chasing ... you know, the good stuff. I don't want to miss any of it. What are you talking about? I'm not weaving back and forth. I'm perfectly fine. You must be seeing things. Did you forget to put in your contacts? 

8. Remorse

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"But you still love me, right?" Sad Lab Lying on a Rug by Shutterstock

Yes, it was I who chewed the full paper-towel roll and tossed the pieces about the kitchen like confetti. It was so much fun, and it felt like a party -- isn't there supposed to be confetti at a party? Maybe I was mistaken. I hope you'll forgive me. I'll just lie right here on this rug while you clean up that mess. It doesn't really feel much like a party any more. 

9. Astonishment

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"Aghast!" Close-up of Pug by Shutterstock

Well, yes -- Pugs look naturally astonished much of the time, but the cock of the head, along with the look of disbelief, just screams, "Oh no you didn't just say the 'bath' word." 

10. Can I have it?

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"For me?" Excited Dog by Shutterstock

Whatever you're holding, can I have it? Please? Is it a ball? 'Cause I love balls. Is it a cheeseburger? 'Cause I love cheeseburgers. Doesn't matter to me. I just know if you're holding it, it must be awesome -- and I want some of it.

Does your dog use any of these looks? Tell us about it in the comments!

Read more posts by Angie Bailey:

• 5 Reality Shows That Would Be WAY Better With Dogs
• My Dog Went on Vacation And Sent Me These Postcards
• 6 Valentine's Day Conversation Hearts From the Dog

1. The back of dolly's head

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Dolly has the traditional white blaze of a Boston Terrier. On the back of her head, where it connects to the white of her collar, little of the surrounding black remains. The gray that comes with age has all but edged it out.

In this spot, I see our more than 10 years as companions. The black represents the glossy puppy who came home with me, and the encroaching white reminds me to cherish Dolly even more during her senior years.

2. Dolly's radiation site

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Surgery removed Dolly's first cancerous growth in 2010. When it came back last year, I took more aggressive action. She underwent 24 radiation treatments to significantly reduce the chance of further recurrence.

Radiation therapy in dogs causes hair to fall out at the treatment site. The exposed skin becomes crusty and sheds every few days. Recovery from the "radiation burn" takes weeks, and the hair rarely grows back. The skin also can change color.

As Dolly's leg healed, a fox face emerged. I like to think of this new marking as a spirit animal of sorts. The fox symbolizes her own quick thinking and adaptability, and it also acts as her guardian, protecting her from any old or new cancer cells.

When I look at this spot, I remember to take a deep breath and live in the moment with Dolly. I still check her bumps on a weekly basis and take her for quarterly checkups, but I don't let the threat of cancer sadden our time together.

3. The swirl of hair on Spot's neck

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Spot loves getting his neck scratched. He climbs onto my lap, facing me, and raises his head in invitation. The swirl of hair on the left side of his neck serves as a sweet spot for scratchies. When worked just right, his lips curl into a smile and his tongue sticks out. He even has a snore that signals his satisfaction.

This spot reminds me to make simple pleasures a priority. When my eyes fall on the swirl, more often than not I pull him onto my lap to relax us both.

4. Spot's tongue

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Speaking of my sweet pup's tongue, it doesn't limit appearances to satisfying scratchies. It peeks out when he sits for the ball, emerging more and more in impatience the longer he waits. He also sleeps with it sticking out. His dried-out tongue on my face often wakes me before my alarm clock has the chance.

This spot makes Spot a favorite with everyone he meets. Passersby get drawn in by the tongue, allowing him to win over even dog-unfriendly folks. It also makes just about every photo I take of him adorable.

Neither Dolly nor Spot meet the breed standard for Boston Terriers, but whether or not the American Kennel Club finds value in them matters little. The above spots and what they represent mean the world to me.

Let's hear from you, readers. Tell us about your favorite places on your dogs. Share descriptions and photos in the comments!

Looking for more stories about pet parenting? Check these out:

• "5 Nice Things I Can't Have Because I Have Dogs"
• "5 Conversations I Have With My Dogs (Almost) Daily"
• "Do Your Dogs Ever Annoy You?"

1. It tastes doggone good

Few things perk up a boring bowl of dry kibble than a loving spoonful of what dog-loving celebrity chef Rachael Ray affectionately calls EVOO (extra-virgin olive oil) -- especially if your kibble might be, ahem, the tiniest bit stale. Add a dash of cinnamon and turmeric, and you've spiced your dog's meal in grand style!

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2. It helps the eater lose weight

Whether the portly pepperpot is canine or human, if there are some unwanted pounds that need shedding, olive oil will help grease the weight-loss engine. The monounsaturated fats in olive oil actually encourage pound-melting by breaking down the fat inside fat cells, to get rid of belly fat and reduce insulin sensitivity.

3. It promotes optimal health

Rich in monounsaturated fats, olive oil prevents and lessens the effects of cardiovascular disease and diabetes. It contains oleic acid, in addition to some compounds (squalene and terpenoids) that are believed to be effective in preventing cancer, which kills a staggering 50 percent of dogs over age 10.

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Woman cooking in kitchen by Shutterstock.

4. It defends the immune system

With high levels of antioxidants -- including polyphenols, vitamin E, chlorophyll, and carotenoids -- olive oil is very effective at arming the body's immune system so it can efficiently fight off disease. That's especially important as we (humans as well as canines) transition from one season to another.

5. It extends canine longevity  

Dogs don't live nearly as long as we want them to, but nothing looks sadder than a young dog going gray before his time. Olive oil prevents free radical cell oxidation (see above), which can lead to premature aging, so it works to help keep your dog looking as vibrantly youthful as he did in his salad days.

6. It's a brain food

Olive oil helps prevent the cognitive decline associated with aging in all species, so be sure to serve it to senior dogs at least once daily, to keep their minds beautiful and cloud-free. This is especially important if your dog is a super-smartie, such as a Border Collie, Poodle, or Mensa mutt.

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Olive oil can help improve canine circulation in breeds like the English Bulldog. Photo by Shutterstock.

7. It provides an energy boost

Circulation improves and breathing comes more easily with a daily dose of olive oil -- it helps increase blood flow and, in humans, lessens the effects of asthma. So, by extension, it can be a dogsend for brachycephalic breeds such as the Bulldog, who sometimes struggle to breathe.

8. It's also a beauty treatment

There's more to olive oil than mere substance -- it's a style statement, too! Long used to beautify human hair and skin, olive oil can do the same for canines. Condition your dog's coat from the inside out with a daily serving, which helps to impart moisture and gleam to even the driest, dullest fur.

Do you add olive oil to your dog's diet? Did we convince you to start? Let us know in the comments! 

Conversely, I feel absolutely giddy when I open my mailbox and find a postcard greeting from a faraway place. Sure, we all keep up with our friends' vacay pics and updates via Facebook, but there's still something special about the postcard. In a world where letter-writing has practically become obsolete, the magical postcard has somehow remained relevant. It's proof you were actually where you said you were going, even though you've been spamming Facebook news feeds with all sorts of photographic evidence. A postcard is tangible and I love seeing someone's handwriting. There's an intimacy there that isn't captured via electronic communication.

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"Greetings from Vacationland!" Tan and White Chihuahua by Shutterstock

What if your dog went on vacation without you? You know, to kick back and relax on the beach, and maybe catch up with friends or relatives? Hey, dogs need breaks, too. Heaven knows, they don't get enough down time, right? So, let's say your dog has jet-setted away on a fantastic vacation and, taking a break from sunbathing and eating fancy fare, decides to drop you a postcard. What would it say? Hmmm ...

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"Wish you weren't here!" Photo of Teddy by Kari Achenbach

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"Ahh, the smell of faraway lands!" Photo of Piglet by Kit Breshears

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"My vacation is going swimmingly, thank you very much!" Adorable Family Bulldog by Shutterstock

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"Vacation is my favorite!!" Photo of Spanky by Amy Grady

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"Grandma's got the goods. I'm never coming home." Photo of Honey by Nicky Westbrook

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"Bon Voyage!" Dog with Blue Bag by Shutterstock

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"Carlos, I curse you for ruining my vacation!" Photo of Rosie by Katy Herman

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"Vacation grass is awesome!" Photo of Etta by Marina Dickey

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"The babes dig the sunglasses." Dog Sunbathing on a Deck Chair by Shutterstock

 What would your dog write on a vacation postcard? Tell us in the comments!

Like this post? Read other fun posts by Angie Bailey:

• 6 Valentine's Day Conversation Hearts from the Dog 
• 10 Haiku Poems Written by Dogs
• 10 Songs from a Dog's Music Playlist

Here's some fun stuff I thought you'd like:

1. Petmate Zip & Go Pet Bed 

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Petmate's Zip & Go Pet Bed gives your buddy a soft, familiar place to crash while on the road. Photo: Petmate

No more lugging around heavy, unwieldy pet beds when you're away from home. Petmate's new Zip & Go Pet Bed is a super soft, super comfy and durable bed that zips up when not in use. Handle straps make it easy to carry, and guess what? You can even throw your dog's toys and other gear right inside to keep it all contained! Side pockets offer additional storage, so now bringing all your pet's stuff with you is a cinch. 

$39.99-$59.99 at pet stores nationwide this spring.

2. Longshots Launch Toys

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Fun for your dog and for you! Soft, aerodynamic Longshots toys shoot up to 70 feet! Photo: Longshots

Talk about the ultimate game of fetch! Longshots is a launcher/toy combo that launches up to 70 feet. Made of water-resistant ballistic nylon, the Ballistic Duck (pictured here) is super durable and fun. First-time buyers can buy the launcher/toy combo and purchase additional toys separately. 

$9.99 online and at pet retailers in late spring. 

3. Samsung PetCam

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Is your dog hosting wild parties while you're not at home? Find out with the PetCam. Photo: Samsung

When you're gone, is your dog sleeping, eating, watching TV, or stealing snacks from the litter box? Now you can know for sure. Samsung's new PetCam is a wi-fi video monitor that's super easy to set up anywhere in your home. You can access the video via your smartphone, tablet, or online. And there's two-way audio so you can even love on your dog from afar. Plus, the device is capable of real-time streaming and recording high-def video, even in the dark.

$149 nationwide in May.

4. The Ruff Leash by Zee Dog 

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With the Ruff Leash, you can stop your dog from pulling and look ubercool at the same time. Photo: Zee Dog

This super-hip-looking leash is also extremely functional. The Ruff Leash is a great solution to dogs who pull. It uses a unique polyurethane spring that's flexible, resistant, and shock absorbing. And, because the spring is closest to the dog, it's designed to quickly absorb shock. A cushy neoprene handle provides a comfy grip.

$30 at Zee Dog.

5. Lickety Stik Gel Treats 

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The Lickety Stik Gel gives your pup a low-cal, vitamin charged lickety treat! Slurp! Photo: Petsafe

Dogs love Petsafe's Lickety Stiks lickable treats. Now there's a new texture and manner of delivery, through an easy-dispense bottle with a dial to help measure the amount of tasty gel released at a time. Offered in five flavors, the gel has added health benefits, targeting immunity, bone and joint, skin and coat, digestive, and stress and anxiety.

$7.99, available in spring online and at pet retailers nationwide. 

6. Zututh Breeze Toothbrush 

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Brush up, baby! The Zututh electric toothbrush makes effective brushing fast and easy. Photo: Zututh

Dog toothbrushes aren't new. But an electric dog toothbrush made with a unique angle to literally surround each tooth is. The Z-shaped head and ergonomic handle cover more surface of your dog's mouth, reducing brushing time (awesome!) and maintaining effectiveness. Available in small, medium, and large sizes. 

$9.99 at Zututh. 

7. Petlinks Scents of Security 

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Now you can be "with" your anxious dog all the time. Give him a toy...that smells like you! Photo: Petlinks

I loved these new toys by Petlinks, designed to help calm and comfort dogs by providing them with a toy that smells like their owners. The Scents of Security group of toys each contain a pocket into which the dog owner can insert an article of his or her clothing. 

$7.99 and up, available at retailers nationwide. 

8. Auto Grass by Kurgo 

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Kurgo Auto Grass will keep you and your dog safe by eliminating a driver's doggie distractions. Photo: Kurgo

Finally, a solution to distracting paws or curious dog nose coming at you while you're driving! The Kurgo Auto Grass is a plastic mat that fits in the front seat center console. Pets opt out of putting their paws into the funny-looking (and funny-feeling) plastic grass so they stay in the back. A bonus: The grass easily holds your cellphone. 

$30 nationwide or at the Kurgo website.

9. Tracerz by Innovet Pet Products 

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Help your blind dog feel more confident as he learns his way around a new environment. Photo: Tracerz

Although dogs are extremely adaptable, sometimes a little help is good. Tracerz are scent markers that help blind dogs (and cats) figure out their environment. The calming blend of essential oils help distinguish the markers from other household products. Tracerz can be affixed to most anything in your home to help your pet adjust to blindness quicker and with less anxiety. (We wrote about them in Scented Products Help Blind Dogs "See" with Their Snouts.)

$19.99 at Innovet Pet.

10. Modapet Bowls 

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Pretty and practical! Gotta love that! Modapet bowls have new colors and design updates. Photo: Modapet

For Modapet fans, here's good news: new colors and designs! For those who aren't familiar with these stylish and funky bowls, listen up. Modapet bowls are BPA-free, made of food-grade polymer, and are microwave and dishwasher safe. Plus, their durable non-slip bases keep the bowls in place. And, well, a little color never hurt anyone! The Mango Tango (pictured) features a cool new hue, larger non-slip base, and a more curved rim to further prevent spilling. 

$14.95-$24.95 online. 

What do you think, guys? Any of these products sound like must-haves for your household? Share in the comments below! 

Here are six of the world’s most extravagant canine establishments:

1. The Barkley Pet Hotel -- Los Angeles

A stone’s throw from the L.A. Four Seasons hotel, the Barkley offers all the amenities of its renowned neighbor -- and more. Can the Four Seasons offer individual fur-dying, stenciling, or a bejeweled "pawdicure"?

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Pampered pooches get to stay in rooms on Rodeo Drive.

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Your pup can get surfing lessons at Barkley Beach.

The luxury suites at the Barkley feature individual climate control, flat-screen televisions, webcam access, custom furniture, and piped music. There are swimming lessons for residents with personal swim instructors, and fully trained animal masseurs. You can even order a steak from the Four Seasons menu. 

2. Canis Resort -- Munich, Germany

With dog lodges designed by noted architects and a main building created in the Bauhaus style, the Canis places the emphasis on ambience, wanting to create a unique, restful, organic stay for your pooch.

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The dog lodges at Canis Resort have individual runs.

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Canis Lodge also offers grooming, physiotherapy, and wellness sessions.

Expertly trained dog-sitters are on hand to see to your hound’s every whim. They not only provide the usual grooming and exercise regimes, but also offer physiotherapy and wellness treatments, which involve an initial 90-minute therapy session followed by orthopedic and neurological analysis. 

3. Pet's Dream Park Hotel -- Taipei, Taiwan

If you’re a little jittery about leaving your beloved canine pal in the care of strangers, the Pet’s Dream Park might be perfect for you. They have an extensive series of webcams set up so you can track your hound’s progress no matter where they are or what they are up to. You can even get the feed on your cell phone.

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Stylish air-conditioned rooms at the Pet's Dream Park Hotel.

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Group playtime at Pet's Dream Park Hotel.

Each furry little guest gets her own room with AC, plus there's an indoor sports field and a swimming pool.

4. Chateau Poochie -- Pompano Beach, Florida

Your mutt will have to be dragged kicking and howling from Chateau Poochie after experiencing its suites with designer king-size sleigh beds, flat-screen televisions, a personal overnight attendant, and an on-site gourmet chef. On-site gourmet chef? I once had a motel room with a hot plate in it, but that’s about as close as I got.

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Hanging out by the bone-shaped pool at Chateau Poochie.

Your mutt can take it easy with a trip to the Zen Wellness Centre, enjoy movie nights, and take advantage of a spa featuring blueberry facials.

5. Actuel Dogs -- Paris

This swanky logement du chien is on the outskirts of Paris, so you could expect the emphasis to be on food. At the Actuel, dogs are treated to fine cuisine, and then they can work it all off with a series of bespoke exercise activities including hiking, biking, and jogging.

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A relaxing doggie room at Actuel Dogs.

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A senior pup gets a hands-on massage at the Actuel.

The Parisian owners also want to make sure there’s a pragmatic French side to their endeavor; they have steered clear of the more extreme fur dyeing and nail-jeweling elements of some of the more notable pet hotels. 

6. Beverly Hills Hotel

If you have a doggie diva who needs to be appeased, then the old Hollywood style and luxurious surroundings of the iconic Beverly Hills Hotel might be ideal for you and your pup to enjoy the Canine Connoisseur Program.

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In one of the famed bungalows that have housed stars such as Elizabeth Taylor, Marilyn Monroe and Marlene Dietrich, your own personal four-legged starlet will be treated to a freshly-baked doggie bone, with his name iced onto it, plus Beverly Hills Hotel-branded bed, bowl, and even a pink tennis ball.

And of course, while you're there, it would be rude of you not to sample the spa, the famous Polo Lounge bar, and one of the many pools. 

7. D Pet Hotel -- New York

Your mutt will have to be dragged kicking and howling from this swanky New York City oasis of luxury after experiencing the suites with designer Kuranda dog beds, flatscreen TVs, three private 6,000-square-feet dog parks, a luxury boutique, and chauffeur service that will collect your pooch in a Ferrari, Bentley, or Rolls-Royce.

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The Uber Suite at the D Pet Hotel.

As well as a spa featuring massage, aromatherapy, detoxifying thermal wraps and calming music, you can also use the custom doggie treadmills and even a personal trainer. 

Have you stayed in a super-classy dog-friendly hotel? Recommend it to us in the comments! 

Here are 10 haiku poems by dogs:

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Haiku-ready For meditation by Flickr Creative Commons

My bark, sharp and fierce

Trying to protect you from

The FedEx driver

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"Relax. I'm only here to protect you." Beautiful Woman and her Dog by Shutterstock

For you I'll create

Artistic works of poo, since

You save them in bags

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"This one's especially for you." Man Walking His Dog by Shutterstock

Swallowed by regret

For I forgot to smell the

Third bush on the left 

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"Regret ..." Tricolor Australian Shepherd by Shutterstock

Your breath intrigues me

And I am fairly certain

You had ribs for lunch

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"Do I smell ribs?" My Dog Chance by Shutterstock

Apologies, but 

How could I have known that was

Your cheesy sandwich? 

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"Pardon me, I had no idea." Dog Steals Cheese Sandwich by Flickr Creative Commons

Puddled on the floor

A symbol of excitement

You've come to visit

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"But I'm just so glad to see you." Dog Looking Up by Shutterstock

Crestfallen, for my 

Nose cannot fit more deeply

Inside your slip-on

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Sweet shoe dreams Sleep by Flickr Creative Commons

But I thought I heard

You say you didn't want that

Folder of receipts

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"Sorry?" A Cute Boxer Making a Funny Face by Shutterstock

You say the leash word

And I'm no longer obsessed

With sniffing cat butt 

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"Cat who?"Cute Scruffy Terrier Dog by Shutterstock

Just when you thought I

Could not sleep closer to you

You were wrong again 

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"See?" Westie Sleeping Next to Woman by Shutterstock

Does your dog write haiku? I think he does! Go ahead, give us a verse or two in the comments. Remember haiku poetry uses only seventeen syllables. Don't be shy! 

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"This is the best playlist ever." Cute Dog Listening to Music by Shutterstock

I recently considered what music I'd find on a feline playlist. The thought of cats rockin' out to their favorite songs sent me into giggle fits. Then the image of a pug with earbuds flashed into my mind, and I couldn't stop laughing. Of course, I had to write a companion piece about a doggie playlist, right? So here we go: Here are 10 songs we might find on a dog's iPod music playlist, as explained by a dog. Please note, these choices are based on song title only; there are no hidden meanings in the lyrics.  

1. "Urge for Going" by Joni Mitchell

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"My pee wins." Dog Urinate by Shutterstock

When we're on a walk, and I see another dog pee, I suddenly feel the urge to go too ... right on top of where the other dog went. That is, after a nice thorough sniff of the target area. Now my pee wins. 

2. "Stand by Your Man (or Woman)" by Tammy Wynette

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"Still here." Cute Scruffy Terrier Dog by Shutterstock

Don't worry -- I'm still here. Can you feel me beside you, leaning against your legs? I just don't want you to think I'm going anywhere. Gotta go to the bathroom? No worries, I'll come along.

3. "My Humps" by Black Eyed Peas

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"My humps, my humps ..." Nose of a Dog by Shutterstock

My favorite humps: the sofa pillows, your favorite cozy fleece blanket, and your mother-in-law -- you know the one who jumps and says bad words when I shove my wet nose in her crotchial region? She's the best. When is she coming over again?

4. "How Deep Is Your Love" by Bee Gees

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"It wasn't for me??" Bix Loves Pizza by Flickr Creative Commons

Cheeseburger wrappers, two-week-old chicken stir-fry leftovers, pizza crusts ... please don't let this magical buffet come to an end. How deep is the love in that kitchen garbage can? I hope it's forever deep. I know you were mad when you had to chase my tomato saucy lips through the house, trying to retrieve the crushed pizza box from my teeth, but it was totally worth it. Totally.

5. "Walk On" by U2

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"Don't expect me to move. Or wake up." Shar Pei Lying on Floor by Shutterstock

You humans always seem so busy, rushing around the house with laundry baskets and piles of papers. I know I'm lying in the middle of the hallway, but I'm tired and don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon. Keep stepping over me and walk on ... I promise not to laugh if you trip. In fact, I might not even wake up.  

6. "I Got Stripes" by Johnny Cash

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"But everybody's laughing, Mom! Isn't that a good thing?" Portrait of a Young Woman by Shutterstock

I got stripes and they're blue, green, and pink. And they're on your underwear that I've dug from the hamper and dropped on the floor in front of your fancy dinner party guests. I know your new boyfriend is at the party, but shouldn't he know up front you wear granny panties? 

7. "Try Not to Breathe" by R.E.M

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"Mmm ... cat poop." Dog Tongue by Flickr Creative Commons

I know you don't like my breath after I've just had an afternoon snack from the cat's litter box. I don't understand the big deal, but I'm about to jump in your lap and give you a face bath, so you might want to hold your breath. Just sayin'.

8. "We Can Work It Out" by the Beatles 

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"But I am scooted over!" Girl Being a Bed Hog by Flickr Creative Commons

Sharing a bed with you is no problem -- we figure out the whole space thing. You see, I'll start out at the end of the bed, and then as the night progresses, I'll creep up beside you and, when you get up to go to the bathroom, I'll stretch out a bit until I've taken over most of your side of the bed. I've saved you a little sliver on the edge -- looks like the perfect size for you. Or you can move to the end of the bed. I promise to keep my butt, sort of, away from your face. See, we can work it out. 

9. "Once Upon a Time" by the Pogues

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"Sandwich incident officially forgotten." Young Woman Holding a Dog by Shutterstock

Once upon a time, you were mad at me because you were trying to eat lunch quickly so you could run errands, and I stole your sandwich off the counter. Then I gave you "the look" --  you know the one. Now I'm lying across your lap, and you're scratching my belly and watching a Judge Judy marathon. 

10. "It's Oh So Quiet" by Bjork

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"I hear cheese." My Dog Bluey Waking Up by Flickr Creative Commons

False. You think you're being stealthy when opening that block of cheese or unwrapping the sliced ham, but I hear you. And I'm a whole floor and three rooms away. Now toss me some of that cheddar.  

What songs are on your dog's music playlist and why? Tell us in the comments!

Bully sticks. Lamb lung. Salmon skins. I buy all of these dog treats in bulk, which means they don't come in resealable bags that store easily in the pantry. Until recently, I just left them in the shopping bag and fished around inside whenever I needed to pull treats for my pups, Spot and Dolly.

That changed when friends sent me an awesome treat tin for Christmas, along with tasty surprises inside for the dogs, of course. Who knew such cool containers for dog treats existed? With that in mind, I went shopping online and found 10 dog treat containers, any of which would make an excellent addition to your pantry or countertop.

1. Puppy Uppers at Jonathan Adler

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From the iconic potter, designer, and author comes this fun stoneware treat jar most certainly approved by his own Norwich Terrier, Liberace. The store also offers it in black and white. 

2. Choose Your Breed at WhitewashSundries

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Put your dog's treats on display in this glass jar hand-etched with a breed silhouette on the side and an initial on top. The Etsy shop offers a seemingly endless list of breeds from which to choose, ensuring even those with rare dogs don't get left out.

3. Best in Show at Signals

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Treat your dog like a champion with this stoneware jar with a silver glossy glaze. So fancy!

4. Juxtaposed Rhythm at Jusani

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You can personalize this hand-made piece of pottery with your dog's name or another label of your choosing, such as "Treats" or "Cookies." Because artisans make this jar, it takes six weeks for delivery -- but will most certainly be worth the wait.

5. Toile at Harry Barker

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I already have these pretty toile tins picked out for a friend with a French country kitchen. The company uses recycled steel, making them eco-friendly as well.

6. Good Dog at Olive & Cocoa

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Does your dog rule the house, like mine do? Then this hand-made ceramic jar with a crown handle proves the perfect treat container.

7. My Dog Likes Treats at Wag.com

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With a dog named Spot, is it any wonder I like this ceramic treat jar? It reminds me of the old Dick and Jane books.

8. Rin Tin Tin at NapaStyle

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The previously mentioned awesome tin I received for Christmas stores all of Spot and Dolly's treats in vintage style. Love it.

9. Doggie Delights at PersonalizationMall

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The makers of this large ceramic jar incorporate your dog's name on the side in your choice of black, beige, pink, burgundy, or blue. Matching bowls also are available.

10. Dog Treats by KbOriginalsetc

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Another pottery piece made by hand, this treat jar also doubles as a work of art. The Etsy shop takes custom orders if you prefer a different glaze than the mossy-lemongrass one shown here.

Tips for Purchasing a Dog Treat Container

• Ensure it contains only nontoxic, food-safe materials.
• Opt for an airtight lid if possible; if you fall for one that doesn't have such a lid, keep treats in a bag, or bags, inside the container.
• Choose a sturdy tin instead of a breakable jar if you have small children on treat duty.
• Start a collection and store different kinds of treats in different jars. If you have feline family members, check out 10 of Catster's favorite treat jars.

Let's hear from you, readers? Which of the above do you like best? Or can you recommend other stylish dog treat containers? Please share in the comments!

Being a dog lover all my life, I thought I was prepared for any canine-related experience, but this was new to me -- seeing the stray dog, the lost dog. And I admit -- it was kind of scary; instead of the usual  happy-dog expression, this guy’s eyes were fixed steadily on my bag of trash. 

I swallowed and wondered: What are you supposed to do when you encounter a stray? How do you reach out?

1. First ask: Whose dog is this?

Sometimes, a stray is quite obvious, such as the hungry guy lurking around food areas. Others may not stand out so much. Perhaps a dog at the dog park seems to hang around a bit too long, or maybe you woke up one morning to find a skinny dog wagging his tail on your doorstop.

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That scruffy but friendly dog you always see at the park might be homeless. Stray dog by Shutterstock.

First, check around for an owner. Phones or young children have a way of distracting even the most devoted owners. If people are nearby, ask around, or call out: “Is this anyone’s black Lab?” 

2. Secure the dog

While you might be tempted to go right over to the stray and shower him with food or attention, don’t do it. Even the happiest tail-wagging dog can turn hostile if he’s lost, starving, or overwhelmed. 

Squat down and slowly try to lure him to you. “Grab something you can use as a leash -- a belt, piece of rope, or even your jacket,” says Sharon Wirant, manager of Anti-Cruelty Behavior Services for the ASPCA in New York. If he approaches, let him sniff your hand, then gently and slowly secure him with the makeshift leash. Talk quietly, move slowly, and avoid direct eye contact.

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Driver, a former stray, found a home in New York City. Photo courtesy the ASPCA Adoption Center.

“If the dog moves away from you, resist the urge to chase her. [She might] run and end up in traffic. Walk away while calling to her -- this can work like a magnet, so she can’t resist following you,” says Wirant. “Alternatively, if you have your own dog and he’s friendly to dogs, bring him out on a leash.” That may draw the dog over to you.

If the dog will not approach you, or if he appears threatening -- the fur around his neck or back is up; he’s baring his teeth or growling -- keep your distance. Call animal control and try to keep watch on the dog, if possible, so they’ll be able to find him. 

3. Watch for injury or sickness

What’s more heartbreaking than an injured, sick, or starved dog? Again, squelch that urge to rush to his side –- he doesn’t know you’re a good guy, and a dog in discomfort is highly unpredictable.

Quickly call animal control to relay the urgency of the situation. If you want to offer food or water, move carefully and don’t place the bowl too close to the dog; let him come to the offering if he’s interested. Offer verbal comfort from a distance, but resist physical contact.

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Be careful as you approach an apparent stray. Lonely homeless dog by Shutterstock

4. Now what?

Once you’ve safely rounded up the wanderer, don't bring him into your home just yet. You don’t know if he’s carrying disease or how he’ll react to other dogs or people. Set him up comfortably in a garage or porch, and begin figuring out where he belongs.

“Keep in mind that a family may be searching high and low for this dog. Notify your local humane society and animal control. Ask your vet to scan her for a microchip. Distribute posters with her photo in your neighborhood,” suggests Wirant. 

Use social media to expand your reach; dogs can cover a lot of distance, so he could be far from home. Call or fax your poster to vets outside of your area. Talk to mailmen, who are very aware of who owns what dogs. Hang your poster near schools, where children –- who know all the neighborhood dogs -– will spot it. 

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Maddox and Magnolia were also rescued from the streets. Photo courtesy the ASPCA Adoption Center in New York.

If you are unable to house the dog at your home, take him to a local shelter. Don’t feel guilty; you can still continue to help track down the owner while the dog is safely cared for at the shelter. If you’ve grown attached to the dog, ask them to contact you if no owner surfaces. 

It’s a great feeling to be a good Samaritan and help out a stray. Just remember to do so safely, so you, your family, and the lost dog will all have a happy ending.

And as for the dog behind the dumpster, a quick conversation with the sub shop’s owner and I discovered the dog wasn’t a stray, but lived in a nearby neighborhood. Apparently quite fond of roast beef, too. 

Have you ever helped a stray dog? What became of it? Let us know in the comments!

Obi, short for Obi-Wan Kenobi, is my first dog ever. The seven-pound white furball joined my tiny family of two (myself and my boyfriend, Bill) in July, but already he’s taken over our lives. In that short time, I’ve encountered a slew of things I’d never even dreamed of prior to owning a pet. It’s totally normal, for example, to wake up to a paw in my face indicating that it’s time to play. 

While I think I’ve adjusted well, there are a few places I think I could improve in the coming year. Here’s to working on becoming a calmer, more Zen, more awesome dog mom.

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These are the toys we could find downstairs. Undoubtedly there are more hidden around the house.

1. Stress less

Sometimes I find myself wondering if I’m a good dog owner, if Obi is happy, if I’m boring to him, if he’s getting enough exercise, if he’s going to secretly love my grandma more than he loves me because she watches him every day while I’m at work. 

I’m a perpetual worrier, riddled with doubts and anxieties and stresses that I never imagined would extend to my pup. I worry if his nails are trimmed tight enough. I worry what others think of his haircut. (To be fair, I still haven’t recovered from that one time he went to the groomer looking like an adorable puppy and came back to us looking like Lady Gaga.) 

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I laughed until I cried when I first saw this, and then worried what people might think. No one said a word, further proving that I need to just learn to stop stressing.

I worry about whether he’s getting the right food, if I should be stricter about his training, if he should get tap water or spring.

But I’ve got to take a step back, breathe, and realize that my dog is healthy (so say the vets), cared for, groomed regularly, and fed and watered often. He also has basic obedience skills and (most of all) is so, so, so loved. Which I think is the best part for him -- and for me, too.

2. Stop buying so many toys

Seriously, enough is enough. Our two-floor apartment is littered with squeaky stuffed animals, rubber balls, chewed-on bones, and colored pieces of rope. I like to splurge on things, and that extends to Obi. I somehow think my dog needs lots of stuff to prove to the other dogs in the neighborhood that he’s living in the lap of luxury, or whatever. 

The truth is, Obi couldn’t care less about what toys he has to play with -- a leftover cardboard box from an online purchase is just as good as a pricey stuffed plaything. Sometimes I think he just plays with the toys to appease me. 

3. ... and enough with the clothes!

In what universe do dogs need clothes? Small dogs like Obi probably benefit from a sweater when it’s chilly out. But do our dogs really also need tiny raincoats, baseball tees, argyle sweater vests, and booties? No, they don’t, but I can’t stop buying the tiny clothes because they’re just so irresistibly cute. I get grabby hands whenever I walk by dog clothes the way some people gravitate toward nice shoes or expensive purses. 

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We somehow ended up with four costumes for Halloween this year. I’d like to say these are Obi’s only outfits, but they aren’t … which is why I need to stop buying so many clothes for the dog.

Obi doesn’t need another shirt he’ll only wear once so I can nab a photo of him and post it on Instagram, so, Self, stop buying them! Unless the piece of clothing is really, really cute. And cheap.

4. ... and the Maltese-themed items!

This resolution has less to do with my actual dog and more to do with the overall organization of my home. Contrary to popular belief, dog owners don’t actually need every single thing they own emblazoned with the likenesses of their dogs. Maltese salt-and-pepper shakers? A Maltese welcome mat? Maltese doilies, mugs, and stuffed animals? 

These are things I don’t need and, thankfully, don’t own -- yet. But I can see myself spiraling out of control and buying Maltese-whatevers in the near future. It’s only a matter of time until I’m wearing Maltese sweaters with Maltese leggings. 

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Nope, don't need one of these for my car.

5. Stop and count to 10 when Obi tries to steal a bite of my food

I admit it: I hate it when my dog tries to nibble on whatever I happen to be eating, whether it’s a snack or a meal. It drives me nuts. “Please, let me eat in peace,” I’ll beg, as if Obi can understand a word I’m saying. “How would you like it if I tried to steal pieces of your kibble while you ate?” 

The truth is, all of my troubles could go away if I put him in his cage while Bill and I are eating -- or if we, you know, stopped eating anywhere but the dining room table. But the first option seems too cruel. Why should I punish my dog because I’m a lazy bum and I want to snuggle while I eat popcorn and watch a movie? 

The second option -- eating at the “appropriate” dining facilities -- is sort of boring. Isn’t half the fun of having your own place getting to decide when, what, and where you should eat? Maybe I cause my own misery a little; that’s why I want to learn to count to 10 before I get frustrated. After all, can I really blame Obi for wanting a bite of my cheesecake? If I were a dog, I’d totally want a bite of cheesecake, too.

Do your resolutions include becoming a better dog owner? What are you working on? Let us know in the comments! 

The most recent statistics put pets in 62 percent of homes in this country, with dogs and cats making up a combined 164.6 million of those animals. Are the odds simply in favor of me having friends with one or the other, or both? Perhaps, but I believe the bond between fellow pet parents runs much deeper than mere math.

With that in mind, I put together the following five reasons -- some more important than others -- my best friends are dog (and/or cat) people.

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My dogs, Spot and Dolly.

1. They don’t mind dog hair or the occasional drop of drool.

Spot and Dolly have full access to my home and car. They lounge on my couches and ride in the back seat, leaving behind hundreds of dog hairs and other signs of their presence. I have industrial-size sticky rollers, as well as a pet-specific vacuum, but no tool or amount of effort on my part will get it all.

Friends with pets don't think twice about making themselves comfortable in my home or car, allowing me to not stress about stubborn hairs during a visit or ride around town.

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Spot drools when he sleeps.

2. They give the best Christmas gifts.

I only exchange Christmas gifts with two families: my own and the Beams. I met Mike nearly nine years ago, when I was walking Dolly around the Houston neighborhood where we both lived. He and his wife, Heather, had just brought home a Boston Terrier puppy named Pippin. The three of us formed a bond through our dogs, and that friendship has evolved into one of my most treasured.

Our extended family now includes their human son, Ethan, and Boston Terrier brothers Grover (shown at the top of this story with Ethan) and Spot. When we decided to give Pippin and Dolly siblings, we adopted from the same litter.

Our relationship gives me so much more than Christmas gifts, but I mention them here so I can show off the cool biscuit tin they sent me a few weeks ago.

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My Christmas gift from The Beams. Isn't it awesome?!

3. They often include my dogs in their invitations.

I work from home, which means my dogs don't spend much time on their own. When friends who also have dogs include them in an invitation to their home, though, I take them up on it.

When we lived far from my parents, my friend Kim always invited us over for Thanksgiving. Spot and Dolly hung out with her dogs, Dahli and Duke, and it meant the world to have my dogs be a part of the holiday celebration, too.

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Dahli and Duke always made Spot and Dolly feel welcome.

4. They support me during tough times.

When Dolly was diagnosed with cancer last year, the pet people in my life checked in regularly during her treatment and provided the emotional support I needed to get through what was a painful process for her and a stressful period for me.

My friend Helen and I were both worried sick about our dogs at that time, as her Golden Retriever, Max, had a serious stomach condition that went undiagnosed for months. We shared our sadness and stress, leaning on each other while offering encouraging words and an understanding ear.

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Helen's dogs, Max and Major.

5. They don’t think I'm one of those "weird dog people."

I love my Spot and Dolly dearly. Their photos hang on the walls of my home and Facebook profile, and I write about them regularly here on Dogster. I’m sure more than a few high school and college friends on Facebook now consider me one of those "weird dog people." I simply don't care. The dog (and/or cat) people in my life get me, and I get them.

In addition to the many dog people I count as best friends, I also am lucky to have family members with whom I share the pet-parent bond. My mom and dad refer to Spot and Dolly as their granddogs, and my nephew and cousins, who all have dogs of their own, treat them like the beloved members of the family they are.

What about you, readers? Does your circle of friends mostly include dog people? If so, why do you think they make the best friends? Please share in the comments!