Some people have said I sound like my dog when I eat. My dog is adorable, but I’m assuming they don’t mean this in a nice way. Should I be offended?
Dear Chewed Out,
Clearly they meant you’re adorable too. I’ve never been told to chew with my mouth closed. I’m usually so excited to get my chops on a treat that I gobble it up, shoot treat shrapnel all over the place, and then frantically lick up each last crumb, sniffing and snorting the whole time. I imagine you do the same.
Don’t worry so much about what people think. I’m sure they’re just jealous because they can see everything in your mouth while you’re eating, and wish they had it too.
Keep on chewin’!
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