10 Looks Dogs Give Us as They Watch Us Scoop Their Poop
When I first moved to San Francisco, I applied for a job walking dogs. During the interview, the woman asked me, "Are you all right with picking up poop?"
"Picking up poop?" I said, leaning back and throwing an arm over the back of my chair, "I am all about picking up poop. I have three kid siblings. Dog poop, cat poop, baby poop -- you got poop, I'll scoop it." I was hired even though I had no prior professional dog walking experience.
So yeah, poop was a part of my life. I picked up poop, I threw away poop, I analyzed poop, I even wrote about poop. (I see things haven't changed much.)
One thing I always noticed about poop scooping is the way the dogs would watch me. Some would stand, pulling on their leashes. Others would sit patiently. And others would eye me warily. If aliens landed on our planet, they would wonder who these four-legged gods are with servants in tow toting (compostable!) bags of poop.
"Oooh man does that stink! I'm so glad I'm not you right now, man-bro."
"Hey, are you going to eat that? Oh, I see, you're saving it for later, right?"
"Dude, why are you moving my poop? That's my territory. I worked hard on that."
"Yeah, I ate the cold pizza you left out this morning. You're going to be there for a while."
"MAN THAT WAS AMAZING! I'M LIKE, 10 POUNDS LIGHTER NOW!"
"You think you can humiliate me in public like this? Joke's on you buddy. Oh what? Didn't bring enough baggies? Gonna have to do it barehanded … and people are watching."
"Look on the bright side -- now you can finally use one of those 20-percent off coupons Bed, Bath, and Beyond is always sending."
"It was the cat, I swear."
"The world is my toilet."
"Oh, I'm sorry -- did you want some of that? It just smelled so good. I'm gonna lick your face now."
Photo: No dog fouling sign by Shutterstock