Sure, we’ve turned the characters of Downton Abbey, Game of Thrones, and even Mad Men into dogs, but now we’re going millennial, with Girls.
If you enjoy the self-important, self-righteousness of wayward twentysomethings, you enjoy HBO’s Girls. But you don’t have to enjoy those things to find happiness in the media darling — you can also just like funny, awkward, embarrassing stuff. It’s about being a weirdo and living each day like it’s your rocking last.
And that’s our (very) loose way of tying Girls to actual dogs — because dogs are all about being themselves. And like an undersocialized puppy at a dog park, Girls is a disruptive force on the TV landscape, and we love the show for it.
1. Hannah (played by Lena Dunham): Petit Basset Griffon Vendeen
Recent college grad; female Larry David; just trying to figure out life in the Big City — er, Brooklyn.
Known for their tousled appearance, independence, and tendency toward outspokeness, the Petit Basset Griffon Vendéen is Hannah in dog form. The dogs are uncharacteristically assertive and loud for their petite stature, and so stubborn that they don’t respond well to training.
Fun to be around, but often self-centered and moody, the Petit Basset Griffon Vendéen would throw a great party and then start fights between all the guests.
2. Marnie (played by Allison Williams): Lhasa Apso
Hannah’s college roommate. She’s trying to be an Adult Woman, but she’s still but a Girl.
So much more than a pretty face, Lhasa Apsos nevertheless still know their pretty face is important. They can have trouble being assertive, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have many desires. They’re devoted, even when ignored or abused, and will only bite under stressful circumstances.
They’re impressed by shiny toys, and have a strong drive to get something that someone else has — even if they don’t really want it.
3. Jessa (played by Jemima Kirke): English Setter
Hannah’s English friend; free spirit; henceforth known as “Crazy Putty.”
Mischievous, intelligent, and strong-willed, English Setters catch any prey they’re after. Even at work, they can get distracted by something flashy that attracts their eye. Often uninterested in other dogs and even people, the English Setter is often happiest doing her own thing. However, they aren’t all about attention and activity — they also love to cuddle with trusted family members.
4. Shoshanna (played by Zosia Mamet): Cairn Terrier
Jessa’s bubbly cousin and the youngest Girl. Wants life to be Sex in the City-fabulous but it’s just not happening (yet?).
Fueled by nerves and wonder in the world, Cairn Terriers are lifelong curious puppies. They bark when they’re nervous and uncomfortable or lonely and needing attention.
Adorably pint-sized and often accessorized with a bow, the Cairn Terrier is Shoshanna’s spirit animal.
5. Ray (played by Alex Karpovsky): Belgian Malinois
A sweet jerk; manager at Grumpy’s coffee shop; living (?) with girlfriend (?) Shoshanna.
Stubborn and confident, the Belgian Malinois is a nonconformist worker bee. That might sound contradictory, but it’s not — they’re skilled and diligent while on the job, but if given their druthers, would rather laze about and write ironically humorous songs.
They can be protective of their family and friends, and will bite if cornered. However, if you just leave them be and don’t offend them in any way, they’ll likely not even notice you.
6. Adam (played by Adam Driver): Rottweiler
Hannah’s older, troubled ex; loves sit-ups; wannabe actor.
Behind their often underserved bad reputations, Rottweilers are just giant, good-natured guys. They can be somewhat standoffish when unsure about a situation, but when they’re comfortable with you, they’re all in. Forever. As in, devoted. VERY devoted.
7. Elijah (played by Andrew Rannells): PomChi (Pomeranian–Chihuahua hybrid)
Hannah’s (first) gay boyfriend.
Always looking for a good time, the rambunctious PomChi (or ChiPom) (or Chiranian) is alert, excited, and always scoping out a better lap to sit in. This charming party animal knows he looks good and isn’t afraid to use that leverage to get what he wants. And he wants ALL the treats.
8. Joshua (played by Patrick Wilson): Saluki
Hannah’s older two-day, one-night stand.
Attractive, independent, and seemingly aloof, Salukis are actually gentle and affectionate with the people they care about. High achievers who thrive in challenging jobs, they can relax and have a good time. Just because Salukis have their heads down and always get the job done, don’t assume they’re completely stoic — Salukis need love, too!
Do you like our picks? Would you do anything different? Let us know in the comments!