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Is finding a new home sometimes the better option?

I have a puppy (probably whippet mix) who was most likely abused before we adopted her. Although she seemed affectionate when adopted, she now doesn't seem to want anything to do with people other than be fed. She seems to have bonded well with our other puppy, but when you try and pet her she either tries to play bite your hand or rolls on her back and flails her legs around so you can't get close to her. Otherwise she's really sweet, smart, and easy to train. But neither myself nor my husband can seem to form any kind of bond with her. These are my first dogs ever, so I'm starting from scratch. I have no idea how to handle her and I usually get frustrated and start yelling (which isn't good for either of us). We are wondering if it might be better to send her to a home with the knowledge to deal with a dog like that? Please be kind in your responses, I realize it is a horrible thing give up a dog that you've promised a lifelong home to so I don't take this decision lightly.


Asked by Guest 034338 on Sep 5th 2009 Tagged givingupyourdog, adoption, badhome in Other Adoption & Rescue
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Rusty

Actually, I applaud you for being realistic and wanting the best for the dog. That said, I'm not sure you've done everything you can before you make that decision.

It doesn't say in your question how long you've had her. It can sometimes take quite a while for a dog to feel entirely comfortable.

At the same time, what you describe almost sounds like a way of playing, rather than a disdain for people. I would see what a professional has to say about the interactions.

While I believe that you could probably overcome the situation, the question is whether you have the time and patience to do what is necessary. Only you can decide. If you do decide to let her go, at least you will know it was for a good reason.


Rusty answered on 9/5/09. Helpful? Yes/Helpful: No 1 Report this answer


Boston

Well I think that if you have tried everything you can, trainers/behaviorists and nothing seems to work then I am of the opinion that sadly these situations can get worse.If you cant handle her or make her respect and listen to you then sometimes that can escalate to something dangerous. So before that happens I think that if you can find a suitable home for her that may be your best bet... But like I say try a trainer or behaviorist they can help out alot and make you learn a thing or two!


Boston answered on 9/5/09. Helpful? Yes/Helpful: No 0 Report this answer


Megan

It sounds like Sasha is just being a puppy! She is playing!
First of all, drop the abused thing. You got her when she was a puppy. 'Abused' should not be used as excuse for her behavior or your behavior.

You have only had her for a few months, she is just a baby. Bonding doesn't have to happen over night, and it isn't Sasha's responsibility to bond with you. It is your responsibility to form a bond with her through training and positive experiences together. It may take a year or two before she feels like 'your dog' and you feel that strong bond. Also, remember that there are different dog human relationships. The way you feel about your first dog may be completely different from the way you feel about Sasha.
Don't get frustrated, and don't abandon Sasha. Give it time, change your attitude and remember this is a puppy, and find a way to bond with her. Pretend giving her up isn't an option. You committed to her for life, now make good on your promise :)


Megan answered on 9/5/09. Helpful? Yes/Helpful: No 0 Report this answer


Maverick

We second Megans answer. Sasha sounds just like a puppy...especially a whippet puppy! They are very energetic and playful! She just sounds like she is ready to play and by no means seems to be exuding abused dog behavior.

It can take many months for a dog to settle in and get adjusted to her new surroundings and owner. I would recommend a puppy training class since it is your first dog ever! They are great for you and socializing the puppy! They will teach you the basics and help you and your new puppy for the bond that you are looking for! I recommend looking for a local trainer or one at your Petsmart or Petco!

Welcome to puppyhood! Congratulations for the new addition to your family!


Maverick answered on 9/5/09. Helpful? Yes/Helpful: No 1 Report this answer


Katie

Hi Sasha!

I just read your page, and your mommy is doing a lot of things right, including working pre-agility and taking you to the dog park to run your crazy legs off! Exercise and mental discipline do wonders for energetic puppies.

Now, it's time for her to start doing things that will focus your attention on her, instead of acting crazy and bonding to the other puppy. Ask your mom to visit www.k9techsupport.com for instructions on how to teach you to pay attention to her.

Since you do pay attention during feeding time, she should extend that attention by hand-feeding you a bit at a time. Each bite should be a reward for a behavior, like sit or down.

When you play-bite, your mom should yelp in "pain" and ignore you for at least a minute. If you stop, play resumes. If you don't stop, you go outside or someplace safe and boring (like the laundry room) for five minutes. You will learn that play-biting leads to isolation and you'll stop. GL!


Katie answered on 9/5/09. Helpful? Yes/Helpful: No 0 Report this answer


Dieta

Well, I think by reading this that your puppy is just being a puppy. Play bite your hand ect.. as you said is just that play. She is playing with you as a dog. So, how do you want to play? I suggest some dog toys, a leash, and collar. Take her for a walk take along some diced chicken in a baggie. Play ball with her. Don't take the other puppy as you are trying to start a bond.
I don't think you should give up on her she is a baby. Dogs take 2 yrs to be fully grown also mentally. When she rolls on her back rub her. We have a full grown 85 lb dog that does this, she lives for belly rubs. It feels good and it makes her happy. Find the things that make your dog happy and do it. I don't mean to sound bossy. But, every dog has a thing. Whether it be belly rubs, laying on your lap, or going hiking. My dog has enjoyed tracking, obedience, and some other crazy games. So find that joy and go for it. She looks adorable. Sometimes with active dogs you have to adapt to them. I suggest a dog club


Dieta answered on 9/6/09. Helpful? Yes/Helpful: No 0 Report this answer


Pippin CGC

Absolutely find her a better, more understanding, & dog savvy home!!!
P.S., I've read in all 3 places you posted...When you said she had "no redeeming qualities" in your eyes it broke my heart for her.
I hope next time you just get a pet rock.


Pippin CGC answered on 9/6/09. Helpful? Yes/Helpful: No 0 Report this answer


Fritz

Find your puppy a good home. You have posted all over dogster looking for someone to tell you it is okay to get rid of the puppy. You have two threads in the forums and this one in answers.

You don’t want to hear anything about how to address your problem. Bottom line, the puppy is too good for you. You have let her down, if you are even slightly a decent human being, you will make sure your puppy goes to a good home and not drop her off at a shelter.

Go get a gold fish for your next pet, it won’t cry when you decide it doesn’t meet your needs and give it away.


Fritz answered on 9/6/09. Helpful? Yes/Helpful: No 0 Report this answer


Hilda, CGC

This whole thing reminds me of the people who used to bring their dogs to us at the shelter and try and make us TELL them they needed to give up the dog. I didn't then, and I won't now. I will say, not everyone should be a dog owner... there is nothing wrong with admitting that, but please do not blame the puppy, she sounds totally normal to me.


Hilda, CGC answered on 9/7/09. Helpful? Yes/Helpful: No 0 Report this answer


Ikan

If it is part whippet, it is a sighthound, sighthounds can at times not be very affectionate. It is the nature of them. I have brought in sighthounds here that had been abused, and you just have to let them warm up to you at their own speed. You have to give them time to figure out this is not a bad place to live and they will start to relax. One dog i brought in when i let him out of the crate bite me so hard my hand swelled up and i could hardly bend it. I just let him take his time and he was one of the most loving dogs before he passed of old age a year ago. Good luck, if you have any more questions about sighthounds feel free to contact me privately.


Ikan answered on 9/8/09. Helpful? Yes/Helpful: No 0 Report this answer


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