“Hey, get off the couch!”
“Don’t eat that!”
“You’re getting kind of chubby, aren’t you?”
“You need a bath.”
Who — me? How dare you!
Oh, you mean the dog? You’re talking to the dog. Well, goodness gracious.
But think about it! We say so many weird things to dogs that would be totally outrageous if we said them to another person. Like, I was walking home last night, and a gentleman was walking toward me with a dog breed I recognized and love and I was all, “Is that an Akita?”
Had I said something similar about his kid (“I hear they’re really good with people!”), I probably would have gotten punched in the face. Or at least a stern look.
BuzzFeed has more phrases we say to dogs that would be totally weird if we said them to a human friend instead of a canine friend. They’re in this video.
Can you think of any other ones?
Photo: A golden retriever with head turned sideways curiously/curious by Shutterstock
Read more humor on Dogster:
- Nation’s Dogs Outraged at Surging Popularity of Cats
- A New York City Cathedral Deals With Its Dog Poop Heathens
- New Dog Mom Photographs Her Rescue Dog’s First Poop
About Liz Acosta: Dogster’s former Cuteness Correspondent, Liz still manages the site’s daily “Awws,” only now she also wrangles Dogster’s social media. That’s why she wants you to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and — her personal favorite — Instagram. See ya there!