Editor’s note: Simply put, rocks are the new dogs. To meet the needs of this growing population of pet parents, we are switching our focus to become your source for all things rock related. Rockster will deliver the latest care info from experts in the mineralogy field, the best training advice from leading rock behaviorists, and the most helpful tips from our team of rock lovers, who will help you navigate life with a not-so-furry friend. Also look for inspiring stories of rock rescue and adoption, as well as profiles of Rockster Heroes. And be sure to create a page in our Community area — we want to see your pets, pebbles and boulders alike! We hope you enjoy Rockster. — Pamela Mitchell, Senior Rockster Editor
It started with one small rock in the bed. But then my husband said he felt bad for the big rock. Now, I’m sleeping with two rocks, two cats, and — sometimes — no husband.
Looking back, the gradual mineral takeover of our human bed really began with the adoption of our second rock, a cute little sedimentary mix we call Marshmallow. Our new rock spent her first night in the house down on the floor beside our big rock, who’d been sleeping in our room since his very first night with us.
“Why would we take a rock out of a quarry just to make him sleep alone at night?” my husband said, protesting my original plan to keep the bedroom a rock-free zone.
Instead, our new rescue rock spent his inaugural night in our room on a pile of guest bedding my husband arranged into a nest for him.
It seemed like our lovely limestone boy was doing well down on the floor, but when our second adoptee came into the picture, I worried about our new little rock and kept getting out of bed to make sure she wasn’t too cold.
My husband would probably deny having ever said this now, but after about a week of constant temperature checks, he turned to me one night and said, “Why don’t you just bring her in bed with us?”
I went out to the carport and grabbed a jack out of the trunk of my sedan, and with my husband’s help, I was able to get our quiet little girl up on to the bed without much damage to my back.
The new sleeping arrangement certainly warmed up our new addition, but we couldn’t have our little rock in the human bed while keeping our big rock on the floor — it just didn’t seem fair. Our big rock spent the next few nights just staring at us with his beautiful, hand-drawn eyes, pleading silently to be included in the family bed.
After two nights, my husband and I couldn’t stand it anymore, so we rented a forklift and got our limestone love up onto the covers. I was so happy to have everyone together in one bed — until a week later when my husband announced he was moving to the guest room.
He says our bed is just too small to share with our adorable boulders, and says he has bruises from rolling into them at night. I’m now alone with my rocks, but sleeping without my husband seems totally unsustainable.
It seems like there is only one option here that is fair to both rocks, my husband, and myself — we need to get a king-sized bed.
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About the Author: Heather Marcoux is a freelance writer in Alberta, Canada. Her beloved Ghost Cat was once her only animal, but the addition of a second cat, Specter, and the rock duo of GhostBuster and Marshmallow make her fur family complete. Heather is also a wife, a bad cook, and a former TV journalist. Some of her friends have hidden her feed because of an excess of cat pictures. If you don’t mind cat pictures, you can follow her on Twitter; she also posts pet GIFs on Google+.