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Buster- (1996-2008)
Watching over my- family every- day. | 
 | | Barked: Sun Oct 12, '08 12:42pm PST | |  | |  | | Since I love to tell jokes (Who doesn't?), I thought I would start a thread where we can post them. No inappropriate, sexual, or racist jokes, please.
Get ready to laugh! 
A woman phoned her husband at work for a chat.
"Sorry, darling," he said, "I'm really busy at the moment. I haven't got time to talk."
"Oh, this won't take long. It's just that I have good news and bad news."
"Look," he repeated, "I really am busy. Just give me the good news."
"Well," she said, "The airbag works."Edited by author Sun Oct 12, '08 12:43pm PST
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*Zoe*
Love and be- loved.
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 | | Barked: Sun Jan 18, '09 8:22pm PST | | | | | | A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies. | | | | |
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*Zoe*
Love and be- loved.
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| | Barked: Fri Feb 27, '09 7:58pm PST | | | | | | A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws comes pushing through the door.
"An' wot's this then?" he asked. The dog knocks the basket sharply into the butcher's shins.
"You dumb dog." As he reaches down to smack the dog, he notices a note and a ten dollar bill in the basket.
The scribble on the note asks for three pounds of his best mince [ground beef]. The butcher figures this is too easy. He goes to the window and reaches for the dried up stuff that's been sitting out all day.
The dog growls at him. The butcher turns around and, glaring at the pup, gets the best mince from the fridge. Weighing out about 2 1/2 pounds, he drops in on the scale with his thumb.
"Hmmmmm, a bit shy. Who'll know?"
Again, the dog growls menacingly. "Alright, alright," as he throws on a generous half pound. He wraps it out, drops it in the basket, and drops in change from a five. The dog threatens to chew him off at the ankles. Another five goes in the basket.
The butcher is quite impressed and decides to follow the piddy pup home. The dog quickly enters a high-rise buildings, pushes the lift button, enters the lift, and then pushes the button for the 12th floor. The dog walks down the corridor and smartly bangs the basket on the door. The door opens, and the dog's owner screams at the dog.
"Hey, what are you doing? That's a really smart dog you've got there," comments the butcher.
"He's a stupid dog--that's the third time this week he's forgotten his key. | | | | |
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