|Barked: Thu Dec 20, '07 6:36am PST |
|Well, I have a lot of habits that mom seems to think are bad. Mom never likes anything. Sometimes I miss mom when she is at work, so I go to the closet and dig in the dirty laundry. Then, I drag her underpants to the middle of the floor, and chew the crotch out of them. Mom is very embarrassed about this, but I told her, "Ma, it's a compliment!" She doesn't get it.
My brother Joey is worse though. He has a thing for shiny new boxes of tampons. Sometimes mom forgets to close the bathroom door when she goes for the day. This is our opportunity to make sure all the sniffing gets done in a timely manner. Joey always finds the tampons and kleenex, and chews them to bits in the middle of the floor. Mom usually is never able to find the box afterwards...
We are both members of the New York City Department of Sanitation. It is very important that hownds like us walk the beat every day, picking up what's on the sidewalk. Here is a list of things that I can remember mommy yanking out of our moufs: rotten KFC, the guts of some sort of rodent, ketchup packets, a dirty diaper, hamburgers, lots of strange and unidentifiable berries, pizza, bagels, a Snickers bar, underpants, french fries, used aluminum foil, a squashed squirrel, various species of poop (but no dog poop, that would be gross)--- and some other stuff too.
Joey also eviscerates pillows and eats art supplies, cos he is too stupid to know they are not toys. Dummy.
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