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Dog Jokes!

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Jessi -in my- heart- forever-

Hi-Yo- Jessi!- AWAYY!!!

Barked: Tue Apr 17, '07 7:20pm PST


	Here is a fun little game I came up with: we all will get to post our fav dog jokes!!! Here is the first joke! My dog can read I was introducing my dog to a restaurant under renovation that he was to guard. The dog had a strange quirk in that he would not go through a tight spot. A door had to be wide open or he would balk. (I guess he had been caught by a spring door when he was younger.) There was a section of the building with posh furniture and carpet. Access to the section was through an opening in a planter wall. I didn't want the dog to go into that section, so I placed a "THIS SECTION CLOSED" sign in the middle of the opening, and said "See that?".... The dog looked, and we walked on. A workman shouted "Hey are you saying that dog can read?" I replied "Well, watch.", and I squeezed past the sign but the dog who had been at my side in perfect obedience, planted four feet and wouldn't go through, no matter how much I shouted and tugged. I moved the sign (now there was lots of room), and the dog walked through as though nothing was wrong. Each time the sign was in the doorway, the dog couldn't be forced through; remove it and he would trot on through. Somewhere there is a work crew that believes my dog can read. .... Bev McQuain

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.....BUFFFF.....- .

Barked: Tue Apr 17, '07 9:44pm PST


	Ha! I have one A man had broken into a house and was stealing all these people's things, The man saw a computer and started unplugging it when he heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you!" the thief looked around and didn't see anything so he went back to his business and he heard it again, "Jesus is watching you!" again, he looked around and didn't see anyone, so a little freaked out but not about to let that stop him he kept on unplugging the wires from the computer when AGAIN he heard the voice say, "Jesus is watching you!" He preceded to turn around and saw a parrot and said, "Hello, what's your name?" "Moses" said the parrot. At this the man laughed a little and said "Who would name their parrot Moses?" the parrot laughed too and said, "The same people who would name their 135 lb Rottweiler Jesus" Edited by author Tue Apr 17, '07 9:46pm PST

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Did someone say - SQUIRREL???

Barked: Wed Apr 18, '07 4:44am PST


	Cute jokes! Here's a couple more. A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a new litter of Labrador puppies. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, "There were three boy Labrador puppies and four girl Labrador puppies." "How did you know that?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it is printed on their bottoms. On the door of the little country store a stranger noticed the sign DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! Inside he saw a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" "Yep, that's him," he replied. The stranger could not help but be amused. "That certainly does not look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."

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What's that?

Barked: Fri Apr 20, '07 7:46pm PST


	A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen." "Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five."

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Did someone say - SQUIRREL???

Barked: Sun Apr 22, '07 1:37pm PST


	If you can start the day without caffeine, If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it, If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time, If you can overlook when people take things out on you, If you can take criticism and blame without resentment, If you can face the world without lies and deceit, If you can conquer tension without medical help, If you can do all these things, ............... Then you are probably the family dog.

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I'm the man!

Barked: Mon Apr 23, '07 8:16pm PST


	it isn't REALLY an animal joke but...i thought it was cute, besides, it has the word cat in it =D Follow the 3 simple steps, #1. Read each sentence one after the other. #2. Now read the THIRD word in each sentence one after the other in order. #3. Go forth and trick your friends with it. This is this cat. This is is cat. This is how cat. This is to cat. This is keep cat. This is a cat. This is dumbell cat. This is busy cat. This is for cat. This is 40 cat. This is seconds cat.

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Did someone say - SQUIRREL???

Barked: Tue Apr 24, '07 10:58am PST


	You kept this dumbell busy, Manny.

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I'm the man!

Barked: Thu Apr 26, '07 9:42pm PST


	yes!!

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Did someone say - SQUIRREL???

Barked: Fri May 4, '07 6:09pm PST


	Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets: 1. They live here. You don't. 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. 3. I like my pet a lot better than I like most people. 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. 5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the results.

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226632

Barked: Sat May 5, '07 9:24am PST


	Manny, you got me! I followed the instructions, thinking there would be something funny or interesting. DUH!

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