|Barked: Sun Nov 3, '13 10:23pm PST |
|I miss you so much. I walk in the door every night and your absence hits me with a tangible force. The emptiness echoes even as the other two vie for my attention. A million happy doggy grins could not fill the void left by the lack of your sweet face.
I cannot run my fingers through your soft, warm fur as I fall asleep. I cannot hear you snoring softly at my side, or feel the steady beating of your heart beneath my hand.
We had a good run, you and I. Your love for me never waivered, even in the worst of times. I remember your laughing eyes while you waited at the door to go for our runs around the church. You thought I was funny and slow. I laughed at you, and myself, when we argued over pizza bones across the coffee table. Remember the snow in Saskatchewan? We played until I couldn't feel my fingers anymore.
I remember the night in the camper when we ran out of propane. You knew it was too cold and you wrapped your warm body around my head and laid your head across my chest. And I remember your courage shining through the uncertainty when you were pushed to defend me from one you thought you could trust. I remember standing in my bare feet in the snow in a t-shirt and jeans, my hoodie wrapped around your neck as a collar, waiting for the police. You kept licking my tears away.
You were always by my side, always on my side. You listened and you loved.
I feel you near sometimes, and I know you are still by my side. But I cannot see you or touch you, and what's left of me aches with that loss. The pain has not lessened one bit, since the day I let you go. I don't know if it ever will. I hope I was worthy of your love, I pray that you know how loved you were, and are.
And I hope you are happy, eating carrots and peeling tennis balls where ever you are. I'll see you again sometime my girl, and we'll walk together
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