Couldn't even make it for Christmas. RIP Chance.

Whether a dog dies, is lost or stolen, or must be placed in a new home, this is the place to gather together to give and receive love and support when you experience the loss of a beloved dog.

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Chance - I miss you- so much.

Barked: Sat Dec 10, '11 10:10pm PST 
I apologize for the long story, but I really wanted to talk about it.

We had to put down our baby girl, Chance, today. It was so hard. Incredibly hard. We only adopted her four months ago and it has felt like years that we've known her. I really don't know how to handle this because she was my baby and I love her more than words could ever describe. I was so excited to spend my first Christmas with her, and Christmas is a huge deal to me.

A few weeks ago, Chance started having diarrhea and we tried to fix that with some medicine. Even after we finished the medicine, she continued to have some diarrhea for another few days, so last week, we decided to go back to the vet and they gave us more medicine for her GI tract. The antibiotics were so strong, and when she was on it, she started vomiting at least once. Then this week came and she was just so weak and lost almost all of her appetite from the antibiotics, we were told to take her off it and start again when she was feeling better. Well, barely a day passed without her on the medicine, and she vomited again. The day after, she was having so much trouble just getting up from laying down, she was whimpering. She was struggling so bad. We assumed it was just her recovering from the antibiotics, but it still really hurt to see her like that. This happened again the next day - vomited and struggled to get up. So, on Friday, we had to take her to the vet. She got blood work and x-rays done. Two months ago, when she got this, she was normal. On Friday, a tumor showed up around her liver area and possibly another one around her chest and her blood was abnormal. We had to take her to an emergency hospital to get it checked out and to possibly have surgery on it. Friday night, the emergency doctor said there was fluid around her stomach or liver area and that if the mass was only on the spleen, they would do surgery. That gave me incredible hope that she would make it. On Saturday morning, they did an ultrasound on her and after hours of waiting, the doctors came to talk to us and said the worst case scenario happened with her. The tumor was on her spleen, but they noticed several masses on her liver and there was more fluid floating around from something bleeding internally. They said that even if they performed surgery on just the spleen, the MAX amount of life left would be 6 months. If it hadn't been on the liver, they would go for surgery and do chemo for her after, but because it was on the liver as well, they couldn't remove the liver. They also said something about metastatic cancer, but to be honest, I couldn't understand at this point. They said if there was anything at all they could do, they would, but when this happens to dogs, it's nearly impossible for it to get better. Even if her bleeding did stop, it would happen again at a later point. And she was just so, so, so weak to do anything. Despite how weak she was, though, when we said goodnight to her the night we admitted her and good morning the next morning, she struggled to get up and hug and kiss us. She was the sweetest,friendliest, most well-behaved dog I have ever known and I am so lucky to have been able to call her mine.

It was such a hard decision, but we decided to put her down today - not even 24 hours after she was admitted. And not even after Christmas. And my heart just hurts so much. I was so prepared to spend Christmas with her. In the past year, I have lost 3 people who mean so much to me, including her, and I don't know what to do.

How do others deal with this? It's even more haunting because I was in the room with her when they put her down. I did it because I wanted her to be able to see and hear me while she was going. And it was honestly just the saddest thing. I will miss everything about her. My house doesn't feel the same anymore and it was a struggle to leave my bed. I haven't stopped crying. I honestly keep thinking that I should have taken her to the vet to get her blood work and x-rays done much sooner because I thought I noticed something different about her belly. And I can't stop beating myself up for it.

RIP Chance, my boo-boo, my baby. We love you so much. I love you so much. You can be as lazy as you want up there and Ye-Ye and Ma-Ma will take good care of you. I love you so much, boo-boo. Miss you.

Edited by author Sat Dec 10, '11 10:53pm PST


I dig in mud- puddles!
Barked: Sun Dec 11, '11 12:51am PST 
I'm so, so sorry for your loss. hug

It sounds to me like you did your very best. And that in the end, when nothing else could be done, you unselfishly sent her to the bridge painlessly, loved and safe. One cannot ask for more.

Fly free sweet Chance. rainbow
(retired)min- ister misty

be calm, dont- worry!
Barked: Sun Dec 11, '11 1:16am PST 
i feel,after reading you're story,you did all you could.
cancer is a mean disease and it takes without remorse..
chance is free from pain and she lives on in you're heart and memory's ...


Always hug your- puppy...
Barked: Sun Dec 11, '11 3:02am PST 

A wee poem for you....

"" I have sent you on a journey....not because I did not love you, but because I loved you too much to force you to stay... ""

Dogspeed Beautiful Chance....xoxo hughughug

Sweetness, Soul,- & Inspiration
Barked: Sun Dec 11, '11 5:10am PST 
Chance's mom....
Oh how I feel your pain! (tears)....I have a little girl named Angel and she has breast Cancer...she goes in tomorrow for surgery and I suppose you are thinking...ya so?? at this point you are in sooo much pain after the loss of your baby Chance but what I REALLy wanted to say is you said you only had Chance for 4 months...we have only had Angel 2 months and I KNOW how amazing it is that you can fall SOOO IN LOVE with an animal like your Chance and My Angel...so quickly and it feels like they were here sooo much longer.....I may be looking at losing Angel wayyy too soon and honestly my brain dosen't compute that..it just keeps kicking it out...it feels so unfair too dosen't it??? to love something soo much and to be sooo cheated on the time you had with Chance.?..all that being said , you did the right thing....even had you done something sooner I don't think there was any saving her! Dear God, I am sooo sorry for your loss. losses...and the fact she couldn't be with you this Christmas...we are sooo sorry!All we have left is the memories of the good times...hold them close....
Misty *RIP- Mommy's- Angel*

Is that food for- me???
Barked: Sun Dec 11, '11 6:53am PST 
Chance's person,

Please, please, please don't beat yourself up about not going to the vet sooner. I tortured myself for weeks after we had to have Misty pts, because I knew I had felt something odd near her ribcage 6 months before she stated showing other signs of illness. No one else could feel it, my BF said I was imagining things and that all I was feeling was her rib, I asked the vet and she and the tech both felt nothing unusual, but I knew.
Once she started acting sick she went downhill very fast. She had x-rays, bloodwork, and an ultrasound to confirm on a Thursday, and we had to let her go that Saturday after everyone said their goodbyes. Now, several moths after her passing I think back and I'm glad that we didn't find the tumor sooner. Like with your pup it was completely inoperable. She had masses attached to the blood vessels of her liver, kidneys, and spleen. Even if we had caught when I first thought I noticed a lump there was absolutely nothing that could have been done to save her. Not knowing gave me 6 more happy months with my best friend. 6 months of treating her normally, instead of treating her like she had a death sentence.
I know what you mean about feeling like a pet has been with you much longer than it has. I had Misty for two and a half wonderful years, but it felt like she had always been here. It's even harder to let go when you have such a deep and instant connection with an animal, we just "got" each other. Time and only time can heal your hurt, I'm tearing up just typing this, but when we first let her go I was an absolute mess. I couldn't eat, or sleep, and I cried constantly for days. It's ok, let it out, be a mess, your friends and family will understand. The pain will fade, but the memories won't, you will find peace in time.

Strength, support, and puppy love coming your way from me and my pups!

Edited by author Sun Dec 11, '11 6:56am PST


I am the Keeper
Barked: Sun Dec 11, '11 7:12am PST 
she came to the bridge knowing love, and that is all we ask for.
she will be in your heart at christmas.
sorry her time with you was so short.

Gone, But Not- Forgotten.
Barked: Sun Dec 11, '11 8:59am PST 
hug Life is full of "what ifs". You did what you could in such a short span of time. I applaud you for being with your dog at the very end. Console yourself with the fact that she didn't leave this world alone; that she had someone by her side that loved her. Sometimes owners keep their suffering dogs alive out of selfishness. To let them go is an act of love. It takes time to get over the loss. hug

Edited by author Sun Dec 11, '11 9:00am PST

Angel Annie

Love my treats,- oh yeah!
Barked: Sun Dec 11, '11 12:33pm PST 
fly free sweet Chance little angel

He is with the angels at Rainbow Bridge now. They will take very good care of him. I have two there that will welcome him with open arms. You did the right thing. I had to let two dogs go and felt it was the kindest thing I could do for them. It was almost as if they were trying to tell me it was time. It's the one last thing we can do for our best friend, let them fly free...free of pain! Chance will always be in your heart and you will grieve for him. It's the natural thing to do. Things will get a little easier as time passes. All of us here at dogster are here to help you in any way we can as most of us have been through the same experience. Pawmail me if you want to talk.
Budrow RIP buddy

I am handsome - deal with it
Barked: Sun Dec 11, '11 2:22pm PST 
Believe me, I know the guilt that comes with the passing of a beloved pet, and wondering "what if I had gone to the vet sooner?" In the end, you know you made the right choice. My regret was not having had Budrow euthanized once I was aware of the extent of his illness, he died alone overnight at the vets. cry cry However, he wasn't in any pain at the time(thanks to the medication) and I'm glad he passed without pain.

You gave Chance a good home for the short time she had left, so think on all the good times you had together knowing she was happy and loved. hug

RIP Chance little angel

Edited by author Sun Dec 11, '11 2:23pm PST

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