|Barked: Fri Dec 13, '13 9:31pm PST |
After 2 bowls of food, a blanket, and a space heater, the dog fell sound asleep. He has not been aggressive with me, but he is clearly fearful and doesn't trust people. I knelt down, not looking at him and with my side to him and he came and sat 3 feet away. He lifted his paw and looked just miserable. He wanted to trust me, anyone, but he just can't.
ACO brought pills to give him in food to knock him out. 10 pills later he is very groggy, but now hyper-vigilant - not good. As soon as the ACO tried to loop the catch pole over his head the dog went into fight and flight (flight not working so well with drugs in his system). It took 4 of us to get him crated.
Last night, as I tried to sleep, all I could think is, "They won't be able to handle the dog, he won't let them. He's a dead dog."
I got confirmation this morning.
I wasn't surprised, but I am heartbroken.
I may have been the first person that wasn't afraid of him, that was kind to him. He was on the run for 13 days. Many sightings in that time and in every case he ran away. I don't know if he was just too tired to run anymore, or if he really made a choice to let me help him.
Now I feel like I sold him out.
As a trainer, I know he would have been months and months of counter conditioning to get him to trust anyone. He would never be safe with new people. I don't know about animals, he didn't try to approach my dogs. If confined to a kennel, every day would be 1 step forward and 2 back. Kennel life is not good for a fearful dog with aggression issues.
The only thing I wish, is that I could have been with him when they put him to sleep, so he would know someone cared.
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