Dealing with pesky, bothersome, rude neighbors

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Shiver Me- Timbers- "Charlie"

My Little Dog, a- heartbeat at my- feet.<3
Barked: Fri Apr 20, '12 11:05pm PST 
My fiance and I moved about a month and a half ago into some new townhouses. The rent is great, they're pet-friendly, and even though there's no yard, we're allowed to(and almost everyone does), do tie outs in the front as there's basically small fields between each of the buildings.

Now... Here's the thing.. I live on an end unit, and there's a neighbor whose dog Charlie plays with and they are the third unit down from us. So we put our dogs on long tie outs to let them play on the grass together. Please note, the grass is AWAY from the front steps and the sidewalks of the units, and we are out there with our dogs EVERY single time they're out there, making sure we can hold onto them to prevent them from bothering anyone or jumping on anyone and keeping them off the sidewalk and peoples steps.

The first issue I personally had, when I first saw her, she didn't say anything. I had Charlie out, saw her coming, and backed onto my steps with him on his leash to keep him from jumping on her and while she had full rights to the sidewalk, she walked AS CLOSE as possible so Charlie had no choice but to lift up his front end to keep from getting stepped on.

She's ALWAYS finding some reason or another to come out and harass us now. The first time, it was "I can't get out my door, keep your dogs away from my door!" - here's the thing, the dogs are on the grass, minimum ten feet away and we grab hold of the leashes EVERYTIME someone starts to come out.

Second time, "Keep the dogs on your own property." They're on PUBLIC property when they're on the sidewalk or grass, so while she owns her unit and her tiny little block of cement that's fenced in by a metal rail, and her steps, she doesn't own ANYTHING else, and therefore, has no rights to complain, particularly when the dogs are kept away from her to begin with.

My fiance actually gave it to her on Easter, pointed out they were not on her property at all, that they were not at her doorstep or door, and were not harassing her, and that she also had a second door to go through should she have such issues despite not having the dogs jumping on her, but he hoped she had a good Easter.

Since then, we haven't seen her until today. I saw her coming, so we immediately took the dogs inside, but I went back out to drag the rest of his lead in the house(it's long and I don't like leaving it out), and she was at her steps, crouching, heard me outside and said "Did you knock over my lanterns?"

"No, if I, or my dogs had knocked over your lanterns, that would have required being on your property, which we were not. If I HAD knocked over your lanterns, I'd have had the respect and courtesy to replace them how they were."

"Well, they fell over somehow."

"Of course I did it! Y'know, I get off on pissing people off and being a %$#^*. There absolutely isn't such a thing as wind or children running all over the neighborhood."

And with that, I walked into my house and slammed my door.

I'm SERIOUSLY considering complaining to the condo board about her constant harassment, because there's no reason for it, and it's interrupting our ability and enjoyment of being outside. They will fine a person $250 if a neighbor complaints. Or even filing actual harassment charges or complaints.

How do you deal with neighbors like this?! I'm almost at my wits end and I've TRIED to be civil and respectful and I've kept my mouth shut up until now.
Turner - Gone Too- Soon

Hi I'm Turner- Wanna Smell My- Butt?
Barked: Sat Apr 21, '12 3:09pm PST 
My question would be if you complain would it make the situation worse?

Some people are just miserable.... I would do what you've been doing, when she comes out be sugar sweet... freak her out with kindness! laugh out loud
Tanuk CGC

Sherpa Tanuk of- Everest
Barked: Sat Apr 21, '12 5:09pm PST 
I think if you complained it would create a bit of a war. Can you just totally ignore her and be non-responsive?


Cave canis- vigilo omnis
Barked: Sat Apr 21, '12 5:33pm PST 
I'm with Turner on this one - some people are just miserable. I would just carry on as you have; be civil and control your dog, and let her stew in her drama all by herself.

Im just a little- guy
Barked: Sat Apr 21, '12 6:49pm PST 
She sounds like a person who enjoys arguments and will find any little thing to start one. She also likes to put blame on people with no evidence. This is how my room mate is. It's annoying. I get nagged at and talked down to if I accidentally leave the heat on in the bathroom or leave a dish in the sink. It's like being in a bad relationship. The only time this person talks to me is to complain or nag at me for something small and stupid. Your neighbor, I am guessing is single and probably gets some kind of social stimulation from being a nagging Nancy (i would rather use other words).

I discovered ignoring my room mate is the best thing to do. The last time she started bitching about the heat in the bathroom, I completely ignored her. It works. I also did not resign the lease. Good thing for you she does not live in your condo.

Some people are complainers and want to control everything. If she comes around again, shrug her off. If you don't argue back she wont have much of a reason to complain.
Shiver Me- Timbers- "Charlie"

My Little Dog, a- heartbeat at my- feet.<3
Barked: Sat Apr 28, '12 11:45pm PST 
So... I've decided to go the kill-her-with-kindness and silent route, but I was complaining to my S.O about the lantern incident and the next day when he saw her, he piped up in front of several neighbors "So, I heard there was a misunderstanding about the lanterns. I'd just like to let you know that I watched the wind knock them over the other day and next time, you may want to consider all possible factors before jumping to assumptions and harassing people about it."

Her reply was, "Nope, no issues, no misunderstandings." and she shuffled back into her condo. She NEVER, EVER says a word to my fiance or my neighbors fiance, it's only ever to us girls. But I was a little happy my S.O said something and I actually haven't seen her since then.

When he's out, she keeps her mouth shut and just shuffled into her condo, or she starts apologizing and whatnot. It's almost like she's afraid to get into an argument with my fiance or my neighbors fiance? Anyway, I'm hoping after my fiance said something, she backs off a little. We're at the top of a valley in my city and the wind is BAD in our neighborhood, so I wasn't at all surprised when he told me that he'd seen it happen earlier.

I'll definitely agree with what everyone has said so far though and refuse to be part of her drama - she definitely seems to thrive on it and I don't want to instigate anymore of it.

Love me.
Barked: Sun Apr 29, '12 11:51am PST 
Charlie, totally commend you for choosing that route. I think at first my response would have been to tell the management about it, but it seems this is the better way to handle things like this. From your last post it almost (can't be sure since I don't actually know the woman) seemed to me that she seems almost lonely; many times lonely people will take any kind of interaction they can-even if it is negative. I am sure ya'lls respective fiances may intimidate her somewhat as well. Hope things start turning out for the better. way to go

Member Since
Barked: Mon Apr 30, '12 1:01pm PST 
Here is my take, and I'm not trying to go against you, but this lady might be scared of dogs.

Not everyone LOVES LOVE LOVES dogs and she might really feel uncomfortable. She might also be intimidated by your fiance because she does live alone.

I'm not saying she's a nice woman or that she's handling this correctly, and I do think that blaming you for knocking over her lanterns was really stupid on her part, but she might have her own perspective.

Your dog could be the friendliest dog ever and he may not even be a big dog, but maybe to her any dog is a threat.

Also, even as a dog owner, my dog doesn't like other dogs sometimes. If I had to beware you and your neighbor dog every time I wanted to leave out the back door with my pooch, I'd probably be a little frustrated with you, too, but I'd probably handle it by keeping quiet and praying you'd hurry up and move. I'd probably be frustrated if you were turning "my" back yard into a dog park, too.

Edited by author Mon Apr 30, '12 1:02pm PST


dog-sitter in- charge.
Barked: Mon Apr 30, '12 1:31pm PST 
I'd be going out there with my earphones on from then on. Music on or not. lol.
Shiver Me- Timbers- "Charlie"

My Little Dog, a- heartbeat at my- feet.<3
Barked: Tue May 1, '12 10:32am PST 
I'd like to note that she does actually have a man that lives with her, although I rarely see him and am not sure if he's family or husband or who, so she does live with someone, so loneliness doesn't necessarily hit target to me.

Also, guest, please note that we are on PUBLIC property, AWAY from the sidewalk and steps of any of the townhomes and we DO grab our dogs leashes any time anyone wants to come out or walk by to prevent the dogs from harassing them and vice versa. If she had another dog, Charlie is leash reactive and picky with other dogs, and I'd have gladly taken him into the house to prevent problems.

I don't think she's afraid of dogs either. Why would she stroll right past my dog to the point he had to jump up to avoid his paws being stepped on? I've seen fearful people when it comes to dogs. They AVOID them as much as possible and have huge issues with the dogs coming near them, whereas, she does not - it's literally like she comes out to complain.

I can see the intimidation factor, as the guys are intimidating, even when they're trying to be friendly about something. That said, guest, please note we were on public property, not hers, and she was always given plenty of room and leeway to get out her door if she wanted, she just took to complaining instead. Several times, she has successfully gone through that door, both while we've held the dogs and while we haven't - the dogs ignore and avoid her when they're playing. Most often, we hold them anyway so they don't run up to her to bother her. Charlie's a jumper, I hold him regardless of who walks by because it's rude to have a strange dog jumping on you.

So she definitely CAN get through her door. We even took to taking the dogs inside anytime we saw her out and about and I think that's a HUGE courtesy, both to her and to us to avoid problems, but she still complained about the lanterns after I had taken Charlie inside.

I still have yet to see this woman since my fiance said something.

A big reason we don't take the dogs elsewhere is because my neighbor is over 30 weeks pregnant and can't handle Sierra(her dog is a Collie/GSD) enough on her own for us to take them to a different field. Everyone else in the townhomes lets their dogs loose, no leashes or collars. Even when OTHER dogs are defecating in our field-type area, we clean it up because it's gross. Our dogs are some of the few on a leash, collar, or even remotely under control.

There's another problem I noticed pop up. There's a man that cleans around here when he was told by management he wasn't allowed(he does anyway). Sierra's owner has seen him leave cooked chicken bones around our tie out areas a few times, and I've started finding the bones too. The other day, my fiance found a bunch of chocolate laying around that he had to clean up right away before Charlie could get it. Not sure how to deal with that problem without physical proof.. frown
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