My dog doesn't like me :(

This is a place to gain some understanding of dog behavior and to assist people in training their dogs and dealing with common behavior problems, regardless of the method(s) used. This can cover the spectrum from non-aversive to traditional methods of dog training. There are many ways to train a dog. Please avoid aggressive responses, and counter ideas and opinions with which you don't agree with friendly and helpful advice. Please refrain from submitting posts that promote off-topic discussions. Keep in mind that you may be receiving advice from other dog owners and lovers... not professionals. If you have a major problem, always seek the advice of a trainer or behaviorist!

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Whippy- The- Whipador
Barked: Thu Jan 31, '13 5:42pm PST 
I think some people need to give the OP the benefit of the doubt. Not only does the guest poster seem quite young but he/she has come here looking for advise, which is a start.

Hopefully the responses you received here Guest are enough to make you realise things need to change for your dog. I think a conversation with your family about their relationship/attitude towards the dog is in order too if you really care enough to make things better for him.

Member Since
Barked: Thu Jan 31, '13 6:40pm PST 
thankyou tyler im a 16 year old girk and im not giving my dog away i didnt choose my words rightly earlier so let me add when i say he is in kennel all day its not torturous he is removed and my caretakers is a big family which takes care of him and he loves them just doesnt like me as much i spent the whole night crying next to him and he is my best friend again.

Woo-woo- whineybutt
Barked: Thu Jan 31, '13 9:07pm PST 
Hi guest. (:
I got Nare when I was 15 (I'm 18 now-- time goes by fast).
While dogs have unconditional love, they have needs to be met.
To start a better bond with your dog, I think you should google 'clicker training'.
It creates almost a bridge of understanding, and allows the dog to trust you and become more confident in himself because of all the positive reinforcement.
Playing games of fetch and tug, while mixing in bits of obedience (sit before tug, practice drop it, lay down before you throw the ball) will help you guys bond and he will soon learn that whenever you're around.. lots of good and fun things happen.


Tuff Enuff!
Barked: Thu Jan 31, '13 11:24pm PST 
Young person or not...she needs to understand what type of life her dog has.

I don't think anyone is trying to be mean, just being real. It's sometimes a hard lesson to learn that you might need to re-home a loved pet. I hope that the OP really takes the advice given to heart and is able to turn the situation around.

Member Since
Barked: Fri Feb 1, '13 12:24am PST 
I was in the same situation before. At first my dog and I were close but because of work, I didn't get to see him. What I did was just to make sure I had a few minutes every single day to be with him. It was a gradual process but it worked.
Shiver Me- Timbers- "Charlie"

My Little Dog, a- heartbeat at my- feet.<3
Barked: Fri Feb 1, '13 1:00am PST 
I got Charlie at 17 years old. An eight month old Beagle, with no training behind him, and a very neglectful past. He wasn't very interested in people, or pleasing, or doing any training with me, and even less interested in learning new things like NOT peeing in the house.

Not only did I walk him A LOT(I walked him five times a day - once to work as he went with me, once at work, once back home after work, then again to the dog park, and then again for his bedtime walk - the shortest of which were fifteen minutes to and from work, the longest of which being the bedtime and dog park walks being a minimum of an hour). I began doing DAILY training with him almost instantly.

My goals were to give him a better life. He too, was kenneled ALL DAY because nobody had time for him prior to me getting him. My goal was to kennel him less(only at bedtime or in emergency situations where I HAD to leave him home alone for short periods of time), get him house broken, and well mannered, and make him a HAPPY dog.

16 or not... Your dog is NOT happy living that life. I'm glad you're asking about it on here for how to improve your relationship with him, but the only way you can do that is by improving his DAILY care and spending time with him DAILY. Just on weekends is NOT enough for any dog. Are these caretakers you hired, or caretakers that are your own family? Why isn't he being cared for by you on a daily basis? I'm sorry, but I'm not understanding that and perhaps it is a misunderstanding.

If he can't have exercise, training, and attention daily, what's the point in HAVING a dog? In that instance, volunteer at a shelter on weekends and find him a new home where someone will have him IN the home, do training with him and give him the daily exercise and attention he needs.

If it's YOUR dog and only your dog and you have other people caring for him, it may be time to rehome him. If it's your families dog too, and your family is the one taking care of him, it's time to sit down and have a talk with them about meeting his needs better.

I'm not being rude. I'm being honest, and I'm being blunt. I was 16 once too.

In fact, I faced a hard reality with Charlie. I even thought at one point, "Is there something I can do to make his life better, or should I find him a new home? AM I meeting all of his needs?" This was at a point when I was going to college, and I quickly changed my attitude, gave a good hard look at the things I WASN'T doing for him as much anymore, and MADE it work.

It's not hard to do for the love of your dog.

You want your dog to like you better? Spend daily time with him, exercise him daily(get an easy walk harness to prevent being pulled over and invest in some training classes to help with the pulling even), go to classes with him, do some daily training with him, PLAY with him, and look at what YOU'RE doing that's cutting the bond between you and the dog. It's not the dogs fault.

Edited by author Fri Feb 1, '13 1:02am PST


Throw the ball,- already!
Barked: Fri Feb 1, '13 4:09am PST 
I'm 17 now, but I was 16 when I first got Buddy, as a puppy. I was in a similar situation as yours.

For awhile, he stayed inside. Then when he was big enough, my mom put her foot down, and he moved outside too a tiny little kennel.

For months, I tried to get her to let him come back in. I knew it wasn't fair for him to be out there alone. He had food, he had water, he was let out daily to run. It wasn't enough. My mom refused, insisting dogs were made to live outside.

It was then I began to look at rehoming him. Did I 'cry my eyes out', as you put it? Yes. Frequently. But I wanted what was best for him. So I began talking to a girl who said she wanted a sporty dog, as she was active. We arranged to meet. She didn't show. shrug If she had, I would have given him to her. Because I couldn't provide for him.

I went back to my mom. I tried reasoning. I tried begging. I tried screaming. Nothing seemed to be working. Back to trying to rehome.

This time I went through shelters, calling as many as I could find in the area, asking if they would take him in or at least let me know if someone came in wanting a lab mix. They agreed.

I was about to start screening people myself again, all the while working on getting my mom to let him come inside so I wouldn't have to lose him, all the while spending many a night crying myself to sleep over the thought of not having him anymore.

One day, she caved, because over all those months I didn't give up. Buddy was allowed inside.

Now I'm having to start over at the basics. Training him like a puppy, taking him out every two-four hours, puppy proofing the house because he never learned proper house etiquette out there in that cramped pen. I refer to him as my 'rescue'. Where is he now? Napping under my feet.

The reason I shared this with you is to tell you, I understand how hard it is to deal with a family who doesn't want your dog inside. I understand how heartbreaking it is to even *consider* giving them up. But you have to put the dog before yourself. Bring him inside, or rehome him.

Whippy- The- Whipador
Barked: Fri Feb 1, '13 7:38am PST 
Guest, do your family members walk him daily? If it's a case of him bonding more with them over you and they are his main caregivers than that can be quite normal for the dog to bond more closely to the people providing his care, especially if you only see the dog at the weekends. That and sometimes depending on the type of dog some can be more "one man" bonded.

I agree with some of the advice you've been given here that joining a fun training class will help build your relationship. Clicker training is a great way of developing a relationship also and is fun for both you and your dog. Walking him daily will help too. If you have issues with him pulling then invest in a gentle leader or no pull harness ( lots of Dogster's can give you more advice on these tools if you want to know more )

There is lots of things you can do to help improve your relationship. You just need to put the effort in way to go

Edited by author Fri Feb 1, '13 7:39am PST


Noms for the- pug...
Barked: Fri Feb 1, '13 9:07am PST 
To the original poster, first of all I want to say that I am not judging you. I am going to share with you my story because with the information you shared, I think there are some similarities. But I know that I do not know everything about your situation so what worked for me, may not be best for you. I only want to get you thinking about every possibility with an open mind. That’s all. So that you, the only one who completely understands your situation, can make the right decision for everyone involved.

I loved dogs all my life. My family had dogs, I dog-sat for friends and neighbors. I knew I wanted dogs in my life forever. When I was 18, I thought I had everything all worked out. I had a job, a long-term relationship, and I was getting ready to move into an apartment with my boyfriend. It was at that time, that I was offered a puppy by a couple that I dog-sat for. I took the puppy to rescue it because the others were all going to be sent to the pound. Since we didn’t have our apartment just yet, the puppy went to live with my boyfriend at him mom’s house. Then, the apartment fell through. We thought it was a done deal, but apparently not. Now we had no place of our own to go. We continued looking for something but were having no luck. The puppy was happy enough at my boyfriend’s house. We made sure that it had everything it needed, including lots of love and attention. But as it grew older, it needed more. It had too much energy. So I went to the shelter and adopted a playmate for him, a much calmer dog but of similar age and size. This dog also went to live at my boyfriend’s house with the puppy while we looked for somewhere to live. The companion dog worked for a while. They both became best friends and Buddy learned a lot from Blackie as far as manners go. My boyfriend’s mom still loved the dogs at that point.

The turning point came after both dogs turned a year old. They both needed lots of exercise and my boyfriend and I took them for daily walks and hikes and gave them playtime. But it was never enough. My boyfriend worked 13 hours a day and I didn’t live with the dogs. I would go check on them at least once during my boyfriend’s shift and take them for walks (he worked nights so that’s why I didn’t do more), but still it wasn’t enough. My boyfriend’s mom started to take issue with the dogs. She made us keep them in progressively smaller and smaller areas whenever we weren’t there. Still we were not able to find a place of our own.

So I did the only thing I thought was right for the dogs. I began looking to re-home them. I searched for anyone willing to take them and came up empty. But things were getting worse with my boyfriend’s mom. She now had a lot of resentment towards the dogs and when we were not there, she would purposely let them out to run free in hopes they would be picked up by animal control or get run over by a car. This is exactly what she told my boyfriend’s brother. We spent hours every week searching for the dogs after she would let them out. The situation had reached the breaking point. I could no longer keep these dogs in that kind of condition. So without hope of finding a place of our own, or finding anyone willing to take the dogs in, I did the only thing I could do. I gave them up to our local shelter. I kept track of them once they were there and it took months, but eventually they were adopted out.

I still think about them every day and cry every year on their birthday, even though that was more than a decade ago. It ripped my heart out to give up my dogs. But as much as it killed me, I know it was the best thing I could do for them at the time. I look back at their pictures sometimes and I can see now what I didn’t see then, a sadness in their eyes. They loved me and were always excited and happy to see me, but deep down they were sad because I couldn’t provide the kind of life they needed.

I am not saying you have to re-home your dog. But I will say that if you truly love your dog, which I believe you do, you should at least look at re-homing as a serious option and weigh the benefits and consequences. Not just for you but for your dog. Look at how your family feels about the dog, how much time it gets with its caregivers, how long before your situation changes and you will be free to spend more time with your dog. Consider all of those things and more to decide what is best for your dog.

In the meantime, I heartily agree with training classes. Perhaps even private sessions to focus on loose leash walking. See if you can bring some of your family along to get them more comfortable with your dog as well. And spend every moment that you can with your dog. Don’t let him be locked away during the times that you’re available to him. I do think this all sounds like a bad situation for your dog right now, but re-homing may not be the only answer. However, you would do your dog a great disservice if you did not properly consider every option, including re-homing.

forever loved
Barked: Fri Feb 1, '13 3:47pm PST 
Perhaps, OP, you may need to take a step back and write down exactly what your dog has going for HIM...not you, him. Write down changes you can make, and then see if it could become any better for HIM. He needs not only exercise, but interaction, mental stimulation...fun. Is his life fulfilling? We do not know what is going on in your life, the specifics, just what you have told us about your dog. And what we have been told makes us feel bad for him. It does not sound like he is living a very fulfilling life. Another thing that stood out to me is that you have family members who are afraid of him. That is not good, especially if it concerns small children. Is there a valid reason for their fear, or is it just because of his breed? Please keep an open mind and see exactly what the situation is...not just what you want out of it. If it would be better for him to go to a home that would allow him to live indoors with the family, and be able to have DAILY (not just on the weekends) interaction and training...then at least be open to the possibility of finding him that home (definitely NOT saying to just drop him off somewhere). This is not being rude, or unkind...it is about being caring. True love many times means giving up what you want if it means it will help someone else (in this case, your dog). I hope things change for the better...but I also hope that you will realize that even though you are young, if he is your dog, then he is your responsibility. Making hard choices is part of growing older (btw, I'm 25, and this is something I have been learning the hard way as well). I do wish you and your pup the best of luck.hug
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