July 30th 2007 8:26 pm
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My dearest Tucker Bunns I love you and miss you so much. Tomorrow the 31st will be 6 months since you left so I decided it was time to post my Tail of Devotion to you.
I remember back when I became your mommy. My mom was looking for a new corgi but couldn’t find any in the Fresno, CA area. So I did what I do best and started searching the Internet to see if I could find a breeder near where we lived in North Highlands, CA. I found an ad for Pembroke Welsh Corgi puppies in Newcastle, CA which is only about 30 minutes from were we live. My mom wanted a little girl corgi and so did I. We had our puppies all picked out and were just waiting for the day we could take them home. Then one day the breeder called to say that she was sorry that the puppy that I had picked out I couldn’t have. She said she was giving her to a lady she knew that just lost just her corgi after it got hit by a car. I begged and pleaded with her not to give my puppy away to this other lady but she just said she was sorry. After many phone calls with me crying to both her and her husband she finally said, “Well I do have one male left if you are interested”. I said yes I wanted him. I didn’t care what he looked like, I just wanted him. That puppy turned out to be you Tucker. You were named after Tucker the corgi in the Disney movie called Murder She Purred. At the time your daddy wasn’t too happy about getting a puppy and he didn’t want to spend $500 for one at that. So I had borrowed the $500 from my mom to buy you and told your daddy that my mom had bought you for us. Soon you had your daddy wrapped around your little puppy paw. He would get on all fours and you'd jump up on his back. We called it the "Turkey Wall" like in that movie Murder She Purred. He decided that you needed a little playmate. I finally told him that we had actually bought you not my mom. Your daddy said if he didn’t love you so much he would have been mad. So next we got your sister Miss Murphy. You two had so much fun playing together. I took you both everywhere with me. You were the smartest puppy I had ever seen. You learned how to sit, lay, shake hands, roll over, give high fives, and dance so cute for a treat in such a short length of time. I was really impressed. You weren’t ever considered a little corgi. At 44 lbs I called you my “he-man” corgi. You had the most beautiful eyes. You loved to be tickled and would bark like you were laughing. You had the cutest little “Tucker Toes”. I always loved teasing you about them and trying to get them while you would bark at me and try to bite my hand. If you ever accidentally bit me you’d be immediately right up in my face telling me you were sorry. You gave the greatest "Tucker Hugs". You'd just come up to us and put your head on our shoulder as if you were hugging us. You loved playing with your nummy ball. It was so funny how you would carry it into the other room and then throw it against the wall to try and get the nummies to fall out. You looked like that dog on funnies home videos that was pushing a rock while you were pushing your nummy ball all over the house. I use to love watching you try to scratch your bunny butt by spinning around in circles while I would sing to you, “Here we go ‘round the mulberry bush”. You then look at me like shut up mommy, it’s not funny. You loved riding in the corgi mobile. You always had to have “shot gun”. Even when we’d all drive down to grandma’s house for Christmas with daddy in the corgi mobile you would start whining until daddy let you have your “shot gun” seat back. While at grandma’s house if I had to go outside for anything you would sit at grandma’s back door barking and yipping until I came back into the house. You were so afraid that I was going to leave without you. You’re favorite place to go was the doggie park. I’d tell you on a Friday night that we were going to the doggie park the next day and you’d start barking and barking then following me all over the place. I’d then have to tell you that first you have to go to sleep and then when you wake up in the morning we’d go to the doggie park. So you’d calm down and not think about it anymore until the next morning. Then you’d be stuck to me like glue until we went to the doggie park. You had a really good memory to be able to remember what I had told you the night before. You’d bark the whole way there. People who’d pull up next to the corgi mobile would start laughing at all the noise you were making so I’d have to tell them that you were excited about going to the doggie park. As soon as we got within a block of the doggie park you’d put your stubby little leggies up on the dash board and look out the windshield so you could see where we were going. I had so much fun watching you run and play at the doggie park. It was especially fun to watch you run with the greyhounds. You’re little leggies looked like a blur as you ran as fast as you could. You’d always let me know when you were ready to go home. Boy you sure did hate the mailman. Anytime you heard the word mailman you’d go crazy barking. Then I’d open the front door and you and all your brothers and sisters would race out barking and yipping and tripping over each other to try and get to the fence so you could get that mailman. No matter how much we tried to get you to accept the mailman you just wouldn’t. You use to love to lie outside on the cement and just watch everything that was going on outside. It was funny to watch you when it was raining outside and you had to go potty. You’d squint your eyes, run out and pee really fast and then run back to the house so you could be let back in. You really hated getting your feet wet. I’d have to tell you to get into the doggie pool to get your feet wet when it was really hot outside. You’d slowly put one paw at a time in, walk once around the pool and then get out. Then you’d look at me like OK now my feet are wet, are you happy? You’re most favorite treat was your piggy ears. Boy you’d crunch and crunch that piggy ear all up and have it finished in like 5 minutes. Then you’d start rolling around on the ground making all kinds of cute grunts and noises and rub your nose on the carpet. I could tell that you really enjoyed that piggy ear.
You’ve been gone 6 whole months now. I still can’t believe it’s true. My Tucker Bunns is at the Rainbow Bridge. I am so sorry that I couldn’t keep my promise to you that I would never let anything happen to you. I tried so hard to save you baby. I prayed like I have never prayed before in my life. When the doctor called at 2am to tell me you were going down hill fast. She asked me if I wanted them to try and save you if your heart stopped. The first word out of my mouth was YES! But after I hung up and I started thinking about whether or not you were in pain. I called the doctor back and asked her if you were in pain. She said, “To be honest, yes he is”. I told her I was on my way. That was the longest loneliest drive I have ever made in my life. I was crying so hard and shaking so bad. The doctors had to carry you in on a blanket because you were so weak. I just laid on the floor holding you and listening to your heart beating. At one point you tried so hard to get up and looked me in the eyes. I knew that was your way of telling me that you had to go. I couldn’t be selfish and ask you to stay with me when you were in such pain so I made the ultimate sacrifice and let you go. Signing that piece of paper was the most horrible thing I’ve ever had to do. You were my boy and I didn’t want to live without you. But I had to do what was best for you. You left for the bridge at 3:17 a.m. on January 31, 2007. I laid with you a little while longer. The doctors asked me if I wanted them to have you cremated there. I told them no. I had promised you one last ride in the corgi mobile. We made that long drive home. Daddy brought you into the house and laid you on the guest bed. Your brothers and sisters came in and smelled you and gave you kisses as if saying goodbye. It was 5 a.m. and your regular vet didn’t open for another 3 hours. I laid there in that bed and held you for those 3 hours. It seemed those 3 hours went by so very fast. Before I took you for another ride in the corgi mobile to your vet’s office I cut off some of your fur so that I’d always have a part of you with me. I have it in a ziplock bag in my purse with your ID tag. You went there as a 43 lb. beautiful corgi boy and came back in a large cedar box. Your ashes currently sit on the fireplace mantel along with poems, mementos, and tributes to you. I made you a memorial garden in the front yard under the tree. It’s very beautiful. Grandma sent you a lot of different memorials. My favorite is the one that says, “You left and forgot to tell my heart how to live without you”. There is not a day or night that goes by that I do not think of you. I have your picture taped to the back of the corgi mobile. I have another picture of you pinned to the passenger seat of the corgi mobile so that you are always riding shotgun with me. I have a picture of you attached to my work ID so that you are with me at work.
A wonderful lady named Michelle who lives in Virginia offered me one of her corgi puppies to help in my grief. I was afraid to get another corgi so soon after you left because I didn’t want to disrespect you. I was assured by our Club Corgi friends that I wouldn’t be disrespecting you. They said I would be honoring you with a living tribute. So Taho came to live with us about 2 or 3 weeks after you left. As soon as I picked him up at the airport and headed home with him he decided to christen the corgi mobile by taking a big stinky poop. I’m sure you were laughing your head off when he did that. The only thing that Taho has in common with you is his toes. He has small little toes like you did. I try tickling him but he doesn’t laugh (bark) the way you use to. But when I am thinking of you and start crying he snuggles up close to me and kisses the tears from my face. I give him hugs and kisses and ask him to give them to you when he sees you in his dreams. His official AKC name is Tavish Tahoma ILMO Tucker Bunns. In Hindu Indian “Tavish” means “Heaven”, “Tahoma” means “Sweet Personality”, ILMO stands for “In Loving Memory Of”, then of course your name Tucker Bunns. Taho is a real character he loves chasing his laser light. Even when I’m crying my eyes out for you Taho can make me smile through my tears. Tucker there will never ever be another corgi like you. You were the most beautiful corgi I have ever seen in my life. You were the epitome of a corgi. Your brothers and sisters are beautiful but there was just something about you that I can’t explain. I am looking forward to the day that I can meet you at the Rainbow Bridge and get your special Tucker hug and your wonderful kisses. Until then my sweet angel you take care of all the new little angels that head up your way. It really helps their families know that you are there waiting for their beloved babies. I will never forget you Tucker Bunns. I will love you forever.
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