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Confessions of a Barkaholic

Advice Barkins

November 15th 2012 12:55 am
[ View A Comments (7) ]

So my advice column are a little late dis week, but you can blame dat on my lazy typist since I was ready a long time ago. Anyways, here's da questions.

Dear Whitley the Wise.

I don't have a Problem, my human has an Issue. I like to shove my hinney into the crack of the back of a certain overstuffed chair and the seat of it. Then I move my hinney back and forth for maximum top and bottom scratch coverage. I like it and can't help but moan my pleasure. This is usually how I get caught leaving lots of hair on the chair.

If it is called the "dog chair" are there not certain rights as said "dog" I have on the use of the chair? After all, I did not ring "house keeping" to come along and suck all the hair off the "dog chair".

Signed ~ Dog Chair ~

OMD, dat are called butt bumping around here and it are da most funnest thing besides barking and playing in da pool! I loves butt bumping, momma says I looks like I am trying to "back it up" BOL! Dere are nothing wrong with butt bumping, just don't do it too much because den you can rub all your hairs off - I rubbed a baldish spot on myself last year from too much butt bumping. And if something are called da dog chair, well dogs can do pretty much most anything in it. If your human wants it clean, dat are her problem and not yours!

Dear Miss Whitley,
How is a pup supposed ta get all da belly rubs a pup needs when your person is on one of those computer things? I has tried the quick pup kiss followed by a swift turn-n-flop to present my belly fur rubbin'-- but sometimes I just gets a "Finley!! Don't flop on the computer!" It's like dose hoomans think they are supposed to do sumthin OTHER than rub my belly!!
Needing Belly Rubs in Texas

It are hard when your human are on dose computer things aren't it? When I decides I wants attention, I don't let dat thing stop me, I just stick my cute little fluff face right in front of it. Dat works pretty good. You could try barking at dem to get their attention, dat could work, but den dey might not be in da mood for belly rubbing. But since I are pretty sure dis are Finley, you kinda gives it away in your question, you could try going and sitting with my momma since she are always whining and moaning about how none of us wants to sit with her even though she feeds us and stuff. So maybe she'll be happy to rub your belly, BOL!

Barked by: Angel Petey- In Loving Memory (Dogster Member)

November 15th 2012 at 3:06 am

LOL....great stuff
Barked by: Hamish McDuff (Dogster Member)

November 15th 2012 at 5:26 am

Excellent advice as always!
Barked by: MrJackFreckles~SirLick-a-Lot (Dogster Member)

November 15th 2012 at 7:20 am

Goodwords, from a good pup!

Um...growlmy said that the begging fur belly rubs method of being flopped/close to the confuser reminds her of my kitty brofurs, BOL!!
Barked by: ✨ Finley ✨ (Dogster Member)

November 17th 2012 at 2:59 pm

Good advices, Whitley...I'll have to try it... I means, I'm sure "Needing Belly Rubs" will find it userful....
Barked by: ✨ Finley ✨ (Dogster Member)

November 17th 2012 at 3:03 pm

Dear Whitley da Wise,
I lives wid a barkaholic...dis pup barks every time somebuddy walks in da room--- how duz I ever get any peace and quiet around dis here place? Earplugs is not an option...
Tired of da noise in da Lone Star State
Barked by: Pepper (Psst - on the left) (Dogster Member)

November 19th 2012 at 9:34 pm

BOL. I have naked spot on half a hinney end, and have no guilt about using the "dog chair" to the best of my skritchin' ability!
Barked by: Mr. Cutter (Pssst on the Right (Dogster Member)

November 19th 2012 at 9:57 pm

Bonjour Mademoiselle Whitley.

I am what my Mom calls a "charmer". I lurve the ladies.

That lady dog on the other side of the fence...she is not impressed with my vocal skills.

I've tried "marking" meeting spots to meet, only to find them desolate of my lady lurve.

What else can I do to attract her attention?



✨ Whitley ✨


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