Losing Control: Why I Hate Being Upside Down

In case you haven't noticed from the terribly embarassing pictures on here, my owners have a fascination with turning me upside down. Now this is starting to get on my nerves, you see. I don't like being upside down and that's all there is to it! I look stupid and I absolutely DO NOT have control of the situation...and I must be in control. Then, to make it all worse, they laugh at me when I'm like that. How utterly humiliating! How would they like it if I turned them upside down? Well, they probably wouldn't mind so much seeing how they're legs don't stick up in the air like an overtuned ladybug! Oh...I'm so embarassed over this...

I'm not always like this! I swear!

Well, I was a bad boy today. I grabbed my master's hat and wouldn't let him have it...and then I...um...tore a tiny, but noticeable hole in it. I thought it would be funny at first, but I didn't mean to take it so far. He seemed to be pretty mad at me for disobeying him, but I just HAD to have that hat. I don't know, it just had a hold on me! I was obsessed with it.

I know that I was a bad boy, but I am a dog! You know what I'm saying, my fellow canines?! We can't be expected to know when to give something back or when to stop doing this or stop doing that! We don't even speak the same language! I say that we band together and stand up to these so-called "masters"! Who's with me?!

......Anyone? Anyone? Umm...I uh...I guess I will go it alone then. Wait...what am I talking about again? I seem to have forgotten.