June 26th 2013 3:11 pm
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Nod dis day, bud da day afore dis day, I weceebed a speshul giff on my Dogster pwofile page. It wuz one ob dose 'lishus golden bones dat yu will find if yu spend any time in Ye Olde Dogster Giff Shoppe. I kno' I r always ober dere, perwusin' da aisles, seein' whut r shiny an' nu an' chekin' fur messes in da MEATZ™ aisle.
"Cween-up in aisle seben! I wepeet : Cween-up in aisle seben! Oh, neber mind. Zaidie wuz dere an' him taked care ob it. Go 'bout yur biznuss, pupses an' hab a nice day. Make shur yu come back nexx day tu chek out da all-nu ice cweem wosette!!" (Yu takin' notes, HQ?? An ice cweem wosette wood be a fine addishun tu da seweckshun in Ye Olde Dogster Giff Shoppe! Wememmer da summer, yeers an' yeers 'go, when dere wuz burgers an' hawtdawgs ?? An' we cood gib dem tu our fwiends fur FWEE one weekend??? O.M.D. Our gutses wuz 'SPLODIN' all ober da pwace!! Ewwww!! Bud I digwess...)
So, yes, we hab a mistwee an' it r a golden bone dat cameded wif dis message :
"We have 16 dog paws.
Allow 4 Garage kitteh paws.
All have mossy paws.
Who are we?"
Yeah, whu da heck dem r??? I fink I kno'...R it da werld famus Papillon Pack ob da gwater Seattle awea?? Dere r 4 ob dem so dem hab 16 paws an' dem hab a kitty whu habs 4 paws an' since it r wainin' an' wainin' an' wainin' out in da Pawcifik Norfwest dese days, all dere 'dorable lil' paws r cubered in soggy moss! I r wite?
May 23rd 2013 7:45 am
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Seddle down, pupses. Jus' seddle down! I hab nod wosed my mind. Nor hab I debewoped a fondness fur pink, gurlwy junk. It r my pawents' annibersawy dis day an' I 'cided tu cewebwate here on Dogster, tu! So, eberypup, sing awong wif me!!
♪ Habby Annibersawy tu yu!
Yur number r nod 2 - it r twenny-six!
Habby Annibersawy, I wuff yu!!
An' I wuff MEATZ™, tu! (jus' in case yu furgedded!) ♬
Dis r also 'Woadtwip to Towonto' day, so I r outta here! Du nod werry - Dadda r gonna be dwibin' da Zaidie-On-Da-Town Mobile™ :D Hab a gwate day, eberypup an' peeples! An' du sumfing nice fur sumone, jus' cuz, 'kay?? We wuff yu ♥ ❀ ☀
May 20th 2013 2:35 pm
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Well, it r da furst wong weekend ob da spwing/summer seesun an' here where I wive, in SW Ontario, Canada, it r sunny an' hot an' hoomid an' peeples an' pupses r fwimmin' an' eatin' ice cween an' lyin' on da kewl tile in dere fwont halls an' dwinkin' wotza water an' pwayin' wif ice cubes an' dwibin' 'wound in dere conbertibles an' showin' off dere pasty white, winter skinz an' wunnin' 'wound wike wunatiks, buyin' fwowers an' hangin' baskets ob fwowers an' pwants an' beggies tu gwow an' cuttin' dere wawns an' fixin' junk 'wound da howse tu ged da naggin' tu STOP! JUS' S-T-O-P, pweeze!
An' sum weally nice peeples (whu du NOD wive in dis howse wif me) r takin' dere pupses tu da Daiwy Queen, which r conbenientwy wocated jus' a coupla bwocks fwum here, AN' gibbin' sum ice cweems tu dere pubbies whu r NOD named Zaidie. Bud I digwess...
It r Bictoria Day weekend here, so dis day r a howliday. Cuz da weafer hab beened SO wunnerful an' perfek fur days, da firewerks, in honur ob Queen Bictoria's birfday, hab been goin' off ALL WEEKEND WONG, eben in da daytime when yu can nod eben see dem!! Grrrr....
Anywayz, if yu wanna wern 'bout Queen Bictoria, I founded sum junk 'bout hur on dose innernets an' I copied an' pasted it here in my diawy, so yu can wead it at yur conbenience :
Queen Victoria (Alexandrina Victoria; 24 May 1819 – 22 January 1901) was the monarch of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland from 20 June 1837 until her death. From 1 May 1876, she used the additional title of Empress of India.
Victoria was the daughter of Prince Edward, Duke of Kent and Strathearn, the fourth son of King George III. Both the Duke of Kent and King George III died in 1820, and Victoria was raised under close supervision by her German-born mother Princess Victoria of Saxe-Coburg-Saalfeld. She inherited the throne at the age of 18, after her father's three elder brothers had all died leaving no legitimate, surviving children. The United Kingdom was already an established constitutional monarchy, in which the Sovereign held relatively little direct political power. Privately, Victoria attempted to influence government policy and ministerial appointments. Publicly, she became a national icon, and was identified with strict standards of personal morality.
Victoria married her first cousin, Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, in 1840. Their nine children married into royal and noble families across the continent, tying them together and earning her the nickname "the grandmother of Europe". After Albert's death in 1861, Victoria plunged into deep mourning and avoided public appearances. As a result of her seclusion, republicanism temporarily gained strength, but in the latter half of her reign, her popularity recovered. Her Golden and Diamond Jubilees were times of public celebration.
Her reign of 63 years and seven months, which is longer than that of any other British monarch and the longest of any female monarch in history, is known as the Victorian era. It was a period of industrial, cultural, political, scientific, and military change within the United Kingdom, and was marked by a great expansion of the British Empire. She was the last British monarch of the House of Hanover. Her son and successor, Edward VII, belonged to the House of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, the line of his father
So Habby Monday/Habby Victoria Day, 'pendin' on where yu wive! If yu wive where dem r gonna set off firewerks dis nite, make shur yu wear yur Funnershirts an' lie cwose tu or on top ob yur peeple,'kay?? Dem will pwotek yu EBEN if dem did nod take yu tu DQ or share dere MEATZ™ wif yu. Oh, an' gess whut else. I jus' habbed a baff. Cood it ged any werser?? Any yu pupses wanna 'dopt me cuz I r OUTTA HERE!!
May 16th 2013 7:13 am
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"Zaidie...It's time to wake up."
"Zzzzz...Jus' fibe more minits, Momma. I r...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."
"I kno' the feelin'. You weren't too interested in sleeping last night, were you? The night sky is beautiful at 1 am, though. And again at 3:30 am.*sigh*"
"You were snoring this morning, Zaidie."
"Maybe we'll fill your pool today. Would you like that, HunBun?"
"I found your favourite tennis ball. Want to go over to the court at the high school and play with it??"
"We've decided to go vegan, Zaidie. No more meat in this house."
"WHUT DA WOOF??? Yu hab gotta be kiddin' me, Momma! Dadda wood neber agwee wif goin' began!! I kno' him wuffs a gud steak an' a burger an' a sausage an' a tastee hunk ob chiggen an'..."
"OMD, Momma! Yu gedded me gud!"
"Oh, look! You're a Dogster Daily Diary Pick! Congratulations, little guy! Oh, my, the rosettes are pouring in already!"
"YAY, me! Dis r gonna be a GWATE day, Momma! Furst, wet's EAT!"
May 13th 2013 6:24 pm
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Go, wite now!! No, WUN WIKE DA WIND tu da Dogster Giff Shoppe an' ged sendin' FWEE BOU-KAYS ob fwowers!! Dem r fwee now, bud I hab no idea how wong dem r gonna be 'bailable! Normawwy, dis giff costses a hole bunch ob zeawies, so go NOW an' spwead wuff, habbiness an' pwetty fwowers all ober dis Dogster pwace!! An' fank yu, HQ! We 'ppweciate it!
May 12th 2013 9:07 am
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Well, wookit dat! Dogster HQ 'cided it wood be nice fur us pupses tu send pwetty ceramic cups, decowated wif da Star ob David, so we can can toast all da Mommas an' say,"L'Chaim! Dat r Hebrew an' it r meenin', "Tu Life!" Dat r whut yu say when yu hab sumfing wunnerful tu cewebwate! An' we du!
Habby Momma's Day tu Mommas, whefer da kidses r peeple or pupses or *gulp* kitties or guppies! Dis day we honur yu an' we wuff yu, all ob yu ♥ ❀ ☀ Pweeze enjoy dis poem I wited a few yeers 'go!
"Zaidie Levi Gee. You did NOT write that poem. Fix your mistake, please. Now."
*sigh*"'Kay, Momma." *whispers*,"Cwap. I cooda wited it. I KNO' I cooda wited it."
Every Woman is a Mother
Every woman is a mother when she folds her hands in prayer for a child.
Feeds one when he's hungry,
clothes him when he's cold,
or holds him when he's scared.
Listens to his hopes and dreams,
and tells him the world needs who he is.
Smiles as a child walks by,
or cries when she knows just one
child is crying somewhere in the world.
The conception for this woman becoming a mother takes place in her heart, and the delivery comes through her hands.
Every woman carries the ability and power to change the world one child at a time.
This birth is not measured in months, but spans her lifetime.
Every woman is a mother when she makes a difference in just one child.
Have you chosen to be a mother?
copyright 1999 Janice Asien LaRosa
♥ ❀ ☀ ♥ ❀ ☀ ♥ ❀ ☀ ♥ ❀ ☀ ♥ ❀ ☀ ♥ ❀ ☀ ♥ ❀ ☀ ♥ ❀ ☀
May 8th 2013 2:13 pm
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I kno' whut r go on, pupses. It r a beeyooful spwing day an' yu r woungin' in yur 'cwib', wyin' awong da back ob da wuffseat in yur wivin' woom, starin' out da oben winnow an' barkin' at eberyfing dat moobes out dere on yur stweet. "Hey, yu darn ant! Ged offa my sidewalk!...Hey, yu wif da junkmail! We want none ob dat!...Hey, whu da heck telled yu it r ok tu walk down dis stweet?...Hey, yu noisy ice cweam man! Take yur silly twuck an'...Hey, WAIT!! Mistur Ice Cweam Guy!! WAIT!"
Eberytime yu bark (AN' save yur Momma's life, doe yu neber ged any wecognishun fur it), sum feelings deep inside yu r stirred. Yu ged all chokeded-up an' suddenwy yu weawize : Dis r whut it r all 'bout. Dis wite here r as gud as it geds. Yur life cood nod be any bedder dan it r. Wite here. Wite now.
Den yur Momma yells at yu tu knock it off - da barkin', I meen, an' tu ged off da back ob da wuffseat an' hur asks, whetoricawwy, ob corse, wuz yu waiseded in a barn?? An' yu kno' whut whetorical meens so yu say nuffin an' swip quietwy off da wuffseat.
Yu westie-stwut ober tu da LWD Cwubhowse tu gwab a few zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzs afore dinner when it hits yu, wite atween yur 'dorable big, bwown eyes, da same eyes dat make it birtuawwy imposs'ble fur anyone tu wook at yu an' nod pat yur cute lil' noggin or frow yur bestest ball or gib yu a tweet or...
Where I wuz?? Oh, yeah. Anywayz, Sunday r Momma's Day. Fur weal. It sez so on da cawendar. Du nod furged. By now yu shood be well-'cquainted wif da dwill. Put fwowers an' gurlwy junk all ober yur Dogster pwofile page. Buy sum weal fwowers. An' pwetty-smellin' baff junk. An' sum candy. Mabbe a fwoot basket. Gib all ob dat tu yur Momma.
Put on yur bestest shirt/dwess ('cept fur Zoe. Zoe duz nod hafta put on a dwess or wear anyfing pink). Wash yur paws an' face wotz. Keep yur furry elbows off da table. Uze NO bad werds. Smile wotz an', ob corse, gib yur Momma so many huggies an' kisses hur r gonna wonder whut da heck r go on.
In short, on Sunday be da bestest pup yu can be, bud be pwepared tu wesume yur normal woutine on Monday. (Yu did NOD heer dat part fwum me, 'kay? BOL :D)
April 18th 2013 8:49 pm
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"Hey, Dadda! DADDA?? Where yu r?"
"Zaidie! I'm over here, stuck under a pile of chicken bones! HELP me, please!"
"OMD, Dadda! Yu r OK??"
"Well, yeah, but my leg's stuck under that side of beef you bought from that weird guy with the truck. But HELP! I can't move!"
"Oh, cwap. Dat wuz sum gud eatin', doe. I r finkin' ob makin' sum soop wif da weftobers. Yu wike wice or noodles in yur soop, Dadda??"
"Zaidie! Help me, please!!"
"Ooops. I r comin', Dadda!"
"Ok. If I start diggin' ober here, yu shood be fwee in a coupla hours. When Momma r comin' home, Dadda?"
"Next Tuesday, Zaidie. That reminds me - we'd better start cleaning up around here. I'll call the recycling company and get them to send over a dump truck tomorrow to pick up the empty cans. And maybe we should hire some industrial cleaners, too. This place is a mess."
"I kno', wite?? It r fun bein' bachewors wif yu, Dadda!"
April 10th 2013 6:23 am
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Dis r gonna be short an' sweet, pupses, kinda wike me! BOL!
Anyfur, dis day Momma r goin' tu MN. Hur an' Gwamma r goin' tu watch ober my speshul kidses while dere Momma an' dere Step-Dad go tu a confewence. Dadda r sick wif sum kinda biwus or bad germs or sumfing an' Momma r on da ceiwin' twyin' tu decide whefer hur shood go on da pwane tu MN or stay an' wook aftur Dadda...an' me! Dadda sez hur shood go cuz us guys r gonna be fine!
I can see it now : me an' Dadda lyin' 'wound in our unnerwears, dwinkin' beerz, smashin' da cans on our heads, eatin' nuffin bud MEATZ™ an' frowin' da bones ontu a pile on da fwoor when we r finished wif dem, duin' guy stuff; yu kno' WIVIN' da DWEEM!!
Go tu MN, Momma!! Dadda an' me r gonna be fine! We will wook aftur each uber! Hab no feerz an' go, GO tu MN! Wite now! Ged outta here, 'kay???
My point r dat I mite nod ged ontu Dogster as offen as I hab beened watewy. I jus' du nod want any ob yu pupses tu werry an' fink,"Oh, where Zaidie r?? R him wost at sea?? R him wanderin', wost in a butchur shop? R him stucked in a fully-stockded MEATZ™ wocker dat habs a bwoken doorknob so him r gonna be dere fur days an' days wif nuffin bud da contents ob da MEATZ™ wocker tu keep him awive??" I r gonna be fine an' I will dwop in when I can, 'kay?? Bark wif yu later! I wuff yu pupses ♥ ❀ ☀
April 7th 2013 4:41 pm
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"Hewwo. Yu hab weached da iBone ob Zaidie Webi Gee. Zaidie Webi Gee speekin'. How I may helb yu?"
"Z! It's me, Zoe!"
"Zoe fwum Idunno! How yu r duin', sweet gurl??"
"Good, Z. I'm good. Listen, I was just on Dogster and I noticed your new background. You lose a bet or something?"
"Wose a whut, Zoe? Whut yu r tawkin' 'bout?"
"Your background. It's all flower-y and girl-y. What's up with that?"
"Oh, dat! Well, I fot it mite helb my Momma feel bedder an' yu kno' whut dem say,"If da Momma r nod habby, den no pup nor peeple r gonna be habby."
"Oh, shoot. You got that right, Z. Daddy keeps a secret stash of tv dinners in the freezer. He knows which side his bread's buttered on. Or something. BOL :D"
"BOL! Yu kno' it, Zoe! Hey, wanna go out on a date??"
Oh, man, Z!! Let's just not go there, okay??"
"'kay, Zoe. BOL! I jus' wike messin' wif yur cute lil' head!"
"*sigh* You got me."
"I gedded yu gud! Fanks fur callin'! Bye, Zoe!"
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