April 1st 2013 8:04 am
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♪ I wish yu a Mewwy Chwismus!
I wish yu a Mewwy Chwismus
I wish yu a Mewwy Chwismus
An' a Habby Nu Yeerz!!
Gud Tidings I bwing
Tu yu an' yur Kinz
Gud Tidings ob CWISMUS
An' a Habby Nu Yeerz!! ♬
So finawwy it r Chwismus!! YAY! I hope dat Santa Paws camed an' filled yur stockings wif wotza toys an' MEATZ™ an' stuff! If yu hed ober tu my pwofile page, yu will see dat I hab decowated fur da seesun an' I sended my Chwismus cards out an' I buyed Momma an' Dadda dat fweezer filled wif MEATZ™ I kno' dem wuz hopin' fur an'....
ABWIL FOOLED!!! BOLBOLBOL :D
I ABWIL FOOLED yu pupses!!! Pud 'way yur Chwismus stuffs an' calm da heck down! It r nod Chwissmus! It r Abwil Fooled Day an' I gedded yu gud!! Yu wuz Abwil Fooled by me, Zaidie! BOLBOLBOL *ROFBMLWDBO* !!!
March 31st 2013 9:57 am
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It r geddin' weady tu wain here, bud it r still a wuffwy day cuz it r Eastur Sunday an' dere r -bwace yurselbes- a FWEE GIFF in da Dogster Giff Store™!! I can heer yu finkin' :"Whut?? Hab Z-Pup wosed hims mind 'gain?? Nuffin r fwee in dis werld!"
Well, dis day, sumfing weally R fwee. Yup, yu heered me wite! In da Dogster Giff Store™ dere r a FWEE Eastur Egg Bonaza-fing -a hole mess ob Eastur eggs- dat yu can send tu ALL yur pup palses!! An' hey, wood it nod be nice tu also send sum tu pupses yu du nod eben kno'?? Tu spwead da joy an' habbiness an' wuff dat comes aftur a WONG wintur, as Muthur Nature heads to hur cwoset an' digs out a spwing jacket, 'stead ob hur dirdy old wintur coat hur hab beened wearin' fur monfs an' monfs an' it r cubered wif mud an' salt stains an' hur weally needs a nu one, bud Fathur Nature sed,"I dunno. Wood it kill yu tu wate 'til nexx fall? Moneys r tite an'..." Muther Nature wolled hur eyes an' sighed WEEL BIG an' stormded off tu da wiquor cabinet an'...Ooops, wong stowy! BOL!!!
Anywayz, enjoy yur Eastur Sunday wif yur peeples an' wemembur tu fink ob ubers afore yu fink ob yurselb, 'cept when it r time tu eat! Den it r eberypup fur himselb!!! :D
March 20th 2013 8:18 am
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"Zaidie Levi Gee, what on earth is going on up there???"
"Momma!! It r da furst day ob spwing, so I r dancin'!! I call it da 'Spwing Fwing'!! C'mon upstairs an' twy it! It r F-U-N :D"
"It sounds kind of painful, HunBun, like you keep falling and crashing into walls."
"Oh, I r, bud dat r jus' part ob da fun!...OOOOPS!!" *crash*
"You okay, ZaidiePup??"
"Uh, shur Momma! We r gonna go fur a walk dis day??"
"Yes, I just have to start the laundry and then we can go, okay?"
"YAY!! I r gonna du da 'Spwing Fwing' da hole way :D"
"Great...Like we don't already attract enough attention when we're out on the street.."
"Whut, Momma? Whut yu sed?"
"Nothing, Zaidie. You just keep on being your adorable LWD self. Don't mind me."
"'Kay, Momma!! Hey, I wanna wear my kilt on our walk! Yu can NOD du a weel 'Spwing Fwing' wifout yur kilt! *crashbangthud*"
"Oy vey." *heads to the kitchen to hook up her Vodka Drip™*
March 17th 2013 6:11 pm
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As da 'ZaidiePup's Gotcha Day' cewebwayshuns wind down all ober da werld, I wood wike tu take dis obbortunitee tu fank all ob yu fur da touchin' an' hartfelted messages, da way kewl pichurs, da wunnerful wosettes an' pawsum speshul giffs ♥
At one point durin' da day, we wuz knee-deep in wappin' paper here in da wivin' woom! Da giffs wuz pourin' in faster dan I cood keep up wif :D
Yu wuz all so bery genewous tu me, Zaidie. It bwings a teer tu my LWD eye. I wuff yu all. Yu hab maded me intu da LWD I r dis day. I weave yu wif dis hikoo-fing I wited :
~ Hey, why I r here on dis Earf? ~
A cute lil' white dog,
Searchin' fur him's life's meanin',
Finds it on Dogster.
P.S. Here r sum speshul Zaidie kisses fur eberypup an' peeple : XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
March 16th 2013 9:35 am
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♪ Habby Gotcha Day tu ME!
My numbur r nod fwee!
My Momma an' Dadda,
Dem WU-U-UFF ME! ♫
♪ Habby Gotcha Day tu ME!
My name r ZAY-DEE!
I r hungwy fur MEATZ™
An' Scotch WHI-I-ISS-KEE! ♬
♫ Habby Gotcha Day tu ME!
I wuff my fambly!
Dem wuff me fureber
An' I-I wuff MEATZ™! ♬
Well, HEWWO an' welcome tu dis day, da fifth annual Zaidie's Gotcha Day! Awweady dis day I habbed a coupla bwekfusses an' a hole cookie! Wite now I r on a walk wif my Dadda, so I r comin' tu yu WIVE fwum my bestest twail bia my nu iBone!! Yup, I gedded a iBone fur my Gotcha Day! It can du all kindza teknical junk, bud da bestest part ob it r dat it habs its own mini MEATZ™ fweezer, bilded wite in!!
Aftur dis speshul walk commenerwatin' dis os-pish-us 'ccayshun, I r gonna hab da twadishunal Gotcha Day baff! Momma weaded me a stowy wast nite 'bout how dis twadishun came 'bout an' since I r ALL 'bout twadishuns an' junk, I r all fur it!! I neber knowed dat a baff r da twadishunal giff yu gib yur pup on hims Gotcha Day! Why yu pupses neber menshuned it afore??
Anywayz, aftur da baff, whu knows whut fun I r gonna hab?!? *trips over a stick on the trail and lands in a mud puddle* OOOOOPS! Now I r a soggy mess :D My twadishunal Gotcha Day baff cood almost be worf it, I gess. At weast, Momma will be habby 'bout it an', yu kno' me, I r ALL 'bout keepin' my Momma habby :D
Hab a gwate Zaidie's Gotcha Day, pupses! I wuff all ob yu bery much an' eben doe dis Dogster pwace hab changed wotz ober da yeerz an' pupses come an' go, at da hart ob it r 'nuff wuff an' fwiendship tu wast a wifetime. Tu me it feels wike home ♥ ❀ ☀
March 15th 2013 2:58 pm
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"Zaidie, it's almost noon! Are you getting out of bed today??"
"zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...grrrrrr. Whut? Whut r go on??"
"Time to get up, HunBun. If you wait any longer, you'll totally miss breakfast!"
"OMD! Nod bwekfus! I can NOD miss bwekfus! *hops out of bed, Westie-struts into the bathroom for -privacy, please-, tears down the stairs*
"Gud mornin', Momma. Beware dose Ides ob March, 'kay??"
"'Beware the ides of March'??? Where did you hear that, Zaidiepup?"
"On dose innernetses."
"Do you even know what it means?"
"Well, kind ob...Sum guy nameded da Soofsayer telled Juwius Ceezer tu 'beware dose Ides ob March'. Den when nuffin habbened afore da middle ob da monf, Juwius Ceezer sed,"Oh, hey, Soofsayer-guy! See?? Nuffin habbened!" An' da Soofsayer guy sed,"No, nod yet, bud wate!!" Den sum bad guys nameded Bwutus an' Cassius killed Juwius Ceezer on March 15th an', den, him wuz ded. On dose Ides ob March. Now yu ged it?"
"Wow. And here I thought you were only using the internet to order contraband Cuz toys! Good boy!"
"Fank yu, Momma! I hab bwekfus now an' den wunch, tu??"
March 14th 2013 8:21 am
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♪ Habby Pi Day tu yu!
Yur numbur r 3.14159...
An' nuffin whymes wif dat :D ♬
"Habby Pi Day, Momma!"
"Happy Pi...Wait, WHAT?? Zaidie, how do you know about Pi day???"
"I weaded 'bout it on dose innernetses. It r da way-sho ob a circle's cicumberwence tu its diametre an' r 'ppwoximate tu 3.14159!"
"Wow. That's right, Hun-Bun! Good work!"
"Sum guy nameded Ark-i-me-dese figureded it out waaaaaay back in dose BC olden days."
"And what does BC stand for?
"Ummm...Bad Cats, I fink. Wow. All dis tawk ob pi hab maded me hungwy! Where my bwekfus r??"
"It's all about the LWD belly, isn't it??"
"Yu kno' it, Momma!!"
P.S. Hey, pupses! Sum guy named 'Nonymus gibbed me a lil' gween hat an' sed,"Wuck ob da Iwish tu yu!!" 'cept I r fwum dose West Hiwands ob Scotwand! Whut I shood du???
February 14th 2013 8:50 am
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As yu r pwobabwy aware, it r Bawentimeses Day - a day fur payin' speshul 'ttenshun tu da ones yu wuff an' fur sendin' dem twuckwoad aftur twuckwoad aftur twuckwoad ob MEATZ™ Appawentwy, whueber wuffs me did nod ged da memo. Bud I digwess...
Da important fing tu kno' r dat dis day - an' dis day onwy - dere r a fwee giff in da Dogster Giff Shop tu send tu yur speshul fwiends!! It r a huge box ob chokwits an' I r almost certain dem r dog-safe an' filled wif all kindza MEATZ™ an' stuff, wike twipe an' bacon an' ham an' fiwet mignon an' pork chops an' chiggen an' turkee an' hotdogs an' sausages an' eben eggs an' cheez an' 'tatoes an' shwimp an' fish an' ice cweem :D
So hed on ober tu da Giff Shop...Ged goin', wite now!! an' send a giff filled wif all kindza mushee, gooey, googwy-eyed, wuffy-duffy, sywupy-sweet wuff stuffs (all da gurl-pups - 'cept mabbe Zoe :D - go NUTZO 'bout dat kinda stuffs), bud most importantwy, wif MEATZ™ :D
I see yu dere, hidin' 'hind da sofa! Go NOW! Dis day, da bestest fings in life weally R fwee!
February 4th 2013 9:01 am
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~Stucked in a Wut~
It r gonna take
more dan kitties on my page
tu 'spire me tu wite.
January 25th 2013 9:40 am
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"Hewwo. Yu hab weached 'Zaidie Webi Gee Industwies, Cat Toy Dibishun™'. Zaidie Webi Gee speekin'. How I may helb yu?"
"Z? Is that you?"
"Yes, it r me. Whu dis r, pweeze?"
"Z! It's me, Zoe!!"
"OMD! Zoe fwum Idunno??? Hi! How yu r duin', sweet gurl??"
"Great! 'I r duin' gud', as you would say! BOLBOL!! Um, Z? What's up with the 'cat toy division' bit? You're kidding, right??"
"Cat Toy Dibishun? I sed dat??"
"Yup. I heard it with my very own adorable pointy ears."
"Well, cwap. Ooops, I meen, yu must hab heered wong, Zoe. I r pwetty shur I sed bat toy dibishun. Yup, dat r it - bat toys."
"Bat toys? Oh, c'mon, Z! You're pulling my cute lil' Schnauzie leg! BOL :D Bats don't play with toys!! BOL!"
"HA! Shur dem du, Zoe! Hab yu neber seened Bats 'R Us? It r wocated wite nexx door tu PetSmart in all da big cities!!"
"Z, bats only come out at night and they're way too busy eating bugs and junk to play with toys!"
"NO, Zoe!! Wissen - when dem take a bweak, fur a snak, dem need sumfing tu du, so dem pway wif toys maded wite here at ZWGI™."
"BOL! You're killing me, Z!! BOLBOLBOL!! Wait 'til I tell the guys over on Dogster!! They're gonna love this!! OMD! BOLBOL! Next you'll be telling me you make toys for rats, too!! BOL!"
"Well, ob corse we du. Nod here, doe. Da wat toy dibishun r wocated in Seattle. Hey! Yu wememmer my gud fwiend Woscoe da wat?"
"Yeah, the poor, homeless guy you met on the mean streets of Toronto and set up in his own place. Then he met his long-lost sister...yada, yada..."
"Yes! 'Cept Woscoe an' hims hole fambly moobed tu Seattle where Woscoe heds up da wat toy dibishun ob Zaidie Webi Gee Industwies™! Oh, dem r wivin' in da suburbs, wite nexx door tu my Unkle Paul, wivin' da dweem, dat's fur shur!"
"How many kids they got now??"
"A couple millyun, I fink."
"Wow. So lemme guess - there's a bunny toy division, too."
"Dere r, Zoe! How yu knowed?? It jus' wewocated tu Nu Mex'co. Wememmer Arweenton, Puff an' Coco Wose's bunny sistur?"
"Well, yeah! She runs the bunny toy deal?"
"Hur shur duz, wike nobunny's biznuss! BOLBOL :D Dat r y da hole fambly moobed tu Nu Mex'co. Weel tuff goin' at furst. Sum bad guy steeled da snow chains fur hur es-yu-bee 4 times, if yu can bewiebe it!"
"Wow, who knew?? Z, you're a busy guy. I had no idea."
"Yu kno', Zoe...da chiggen toy dibishun habs a obenin' in da finance 'partment. I wuz finkin' dat, since yu hab chiggens on yur pwoperty, yu mite be innerwested in da posishun. It pays weel gud. Wotza benebits, tu."
"Did you say 'Kibbles 'n Bits'?"
"No, I sed, 'benebits'."
"Oh, good. It's just that us Schnauzers have real delicate tummies and we're especially prone to pancakeritis. I'm not allowed to eat 'Kibbles 'n Bits'."
"Hab no feerz, Zoe! No Kibbles an' Bitz fur yu! Yu kno', yu cood werk fwum home. Mabbe set up yur obbice in da wivin' woom, on da back ob da wuff seat where..."
"You are thinking all the time, Z! Total win/win situation! I can do my security work fulltime AND bring in millions counting toys for chickens. What a life! Sure, sign me up!"
"YAY! Dis r gonna be gwate! Welcome tu Zaidie Webi Gee Industwies, Chiggen Toy Dibishun ™! I r gonna hab MY peeples ged in tuch wif YUR peeples so we can du wunch an' mess 'wound wif da details an' junk!"
"Cool, Z! Hey, I don't have to wear a uniform, do I??"
"Ob corse nod! Jus' a kilt!"
"Awww, man. You know I don't do clothes, Z!"
"I tell yu whut, Zoe - I r gonna hab it sended tu yu bia UPS, so yu ged tu BARKBARKBARK at da guy in da bwown twuck. Deel??"
FYI - D'offishul pichurs ob me in my stoopid kilt AN' my eben stoopider lil' tam-fing (pichurs I kno' yu can nod wate tu see) r gonna hafta wate 'til Dadda geds home so him can helb Momma wif da Zaidie-wanglin'. I r nod coopewatin', if yu can bewiebe it. BOLBOL :D Stay tuneded.
Also, if it seems wike I r outta da woop here on Dogster, it r cuz I weally r. I r nod geddin' any notibicayshuns 'bout nuffin. Dadda r gonna helb Momma wif dat, tu. I jus' did nod want any ob yu pupses tu fink I r bein' wude an' 'gnorin' yu cuz I r nod!
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