September 27th 2013 2:22 pm
[ View A Comments (5) ]
"Zaidie! It's after 10 am. Are you planning to get up soon??"
"Ohhhh, woe r me....Momma, I r nod feelin' tu gud. Ohhhhhhh..."
*Momma runs up the stairs*
"What's wrong, HunBun??" *feels his furry forehead to check for fever*
"Hmmmm...You don't feel warm to me. Is your little tumtum hurting??"
"Well, yeah. Mabbe cuz dere r no MEATZ™ in it?? Yeah, I bet dat r it!! Fwy me up sum bacon, Momma! I r feewin' bedder jus' finkin' 'bout it!"
"We don't have any bacon, sweet pup, and I don't want to leave you alone while I run to the store to get some, either."
"I be ok, Momma. Until I eat sum kinda MEATZ™, I r tu weak tu ged outta bed. Watch dis...*sits up; immediately falls back onto his pile of pillows, his lavender nightshades and his teddy bear collection* Yu puff up my piwwows, pweeze, Momma??"
"Zaidiepup, does this have anything to do with the fact that there's no meat in the Dogster Gift Shop?"
"Whut?? Ob corse nod. Howeber, I DU fink dat HQ hab maded a HOOGE mistake. Wifout MEATZ™, whut r da point ob anyfing??"
"Oh, Zaidie. How did you get to be so jaded??"
"Jaded?? Whut da heck dat r?? Um, I hab my bwekfuss now, pweeze, Momma??"
September 26th 2013 5:32 pm
[ View A Comments (13) ]
Hi, pupses...*sniff* I r nod habbin' a gud day. Yes, I r a DDP an' I wood wike tu say FANKS tu yu pupses whu sended wosettes tu helb me cewebwate dis iwwustwious 'ccayshun. *sob* 'Cept dere r NO MEATZ™ in da Dogster Giff Shoppe!! I wepeet - NO MEATZ™ in da Giff Shoppe!! ... *grabs his fluffy head* I r weal dizzee an' woozee. I need wie down. Tawk 'mongst yurselbes. Oy bey...
September 22nd 2013 9:27 am
[ View A Comments (26) ]
Hi, pupses an' gess whut! My Momma jus' buyed me a Howlween costume an' normawwy I wood NOD be habby 'bout dat, 'cept dis year hur buyed me da kewlwest costume EBER!! Gess whut I r gonna be!.....R yu gonna gess?...I r waitin'...C'mon an' gess!!
No, Zoe. I r nod gonna be a ballerwina an' wear a pink tutu. OMD.
No, Fizzy. I r nod gonna be a hunk ob cheez an' make yu dwown in a puddle ob yur own dwoolz. *shakes his head*
No, Zaidie. I r nod gonna be a skwerl an' bark at my own selb....Wait. Dis r makin' my head hurt.
Yu gib up yet?...Now?...NOW???
I r gonna be a mobster! Yup, a weal mobster. I r gonna be tuff an' mean an' skeery an' wear shiny, fake Italian soots an' be dwiben 'wound da town in a HOOOGE fancy car by sum guy whu werks fur ME an' I r gonna hab a HOOGE entourwage ob guys wif me all da time an' dem will du whuteber I say, when I say it, wike dis : Me :"Bwing me dat skwerl ober dere an' chase him fur me, 'kay, Tony??" "Shur, boss." Kewl, huh?? An' I r gonna eat wotza MEATZ™ cuz our secwet meetings r gonna take pwace in a butcher shop an'...'Scuse me a minit, pweeze. "Yes, Momma? A whut?? A w-o-b-s-t-e-r. A WOBSTER? Dat r nod skeery an' tuff. Wobsters ged cotted an' eated. How dat r skeery??...Whut? CUTE? Why I wanna be cute??? OMD. My life r wuined.
September 2nd 2013 8:50 am
[ View A Comments (12) ]
Finawwy, it r here - Nayber Day! Dis r one ob my fabouwitest days ob da yeer ('sides Chwissmus an' my Birfday an' my Gotcha Day) when we ged tu go outside an' knock on our naybers doors ('cept us pupses need hab a people wif us cuz we r nod tu gud at knockin') an' say,"HABBY NAYBER DAY, NAYBER!!" Den dem go out tu dere deck an' take a hunk ob MEATZ™ off dere gwill an' dem walk back tu da fwont door where yu r sittin' in a pool ob yur own dwool, waitin' fur a tastee tweet an' dem gib it tu yu an' yu gwab dat hunk ob MEATZ™ wike yu hab nod beened feeded in monfs an' weeks an' yu choke a bit cuz yur lil' froat r kinda dwy aftur da chiggen yu wolfded down at anuber naybers pwace, bud yu wuz bery powite an' eated it anywayz, bud now yu weally need a bowl ob water cuz if yu keep on chokin' yu r gonna urka gurka ALL OBER da fwont hall, so dem bwing yu sum nice fwesh water an' yu dwink it, while makin' dat 'dorable schlurpin' sound dat yur Momma finks r OH-SO-CUTE, 'cept when yur Dadda duz it hur sez it r NOD cute an' den yu say,"FANKS, NAYBER!" an' yu 'cide tu cwoss da stweet an' go tu da howse ober dere, bud dem jus' moobed in an' yu r nod shur dem kno' how Nayber Day werks in yur 'hood, bud yu knock on dere fwont door (wif a lil' helb!) an' sum guy in hims unnerwears answers an' a kitty wuns out an' down da fwont steps, so yu, ob corse, hab no choice bud tu CHASE DAT KITTY, dwaggin' yur Momma ahind yu an' da guy in hims unnerwears r yellin' cuz dat kiity r a INDOOR kitty, 'cept now him r a OUTDOOR kitty an' him hab cwimbed a BERY tall twee in an effort tu ged 'way fwum yu, while yur Momma r on hur fone, cwyin' an' tellin' Dadda whut da heck r go on, 'cept him r habbin' a shower an' can nod heer da fone wing-wing-wing...
"Yes, Momma?... Oh. "
'Cept it r ackfurwawwy Wabour Day, pupses. Hab fun duin' whuteber da heck dat meens. I wuff yu!
August 15th 2013 8:32 am
[ View A Comments (36) ]
I hab 'cided tu hab a lil' kontest. If yu go tu my pwofile page, yu will see a nu pichur ob me, Zaidie. I r a dirty mess! BOL :D
How on earf dat habben?? I dunno. Yu tell me!! Dat r da contest. Uze yur 'maginayshun or jus' take a wild gess!! Da furst pup tu cowweckwy gess how I gedded SO dirdy r gonna win a pwize fwum me! Yes, a weel pwize an' I r gonna send it tu yu in da mail so yu can BARKBARKBARK yur cute lil' head off at yur mail person, jus' wike I du eberyday.
Dis r woadtwip day, so I r outta here soon, bud yu can start gessin' in da comments anytime. An' yu can gess as many times as yu want, bud dere r gonna be jus' ONE winner dis time. Notice I sed "dis time". Mabbe we can du dis 'gain an' gain. Hab fun, pway fair an' no cheetin'!
"How do we cheat, Zaidie??" "Oh, I dunno. Send me tons ob MEATZ™ mabbe?? BOL! Bark wif yu pups later! I wuff yu!
PUPDATE - dis contest r now ober an' if yu hab beened fowwowin' awong in da comments yu will kno' dat Duncan Fife r da winner!! Him gessed cowwekwy when him sed it wooked wike I hab beened unner da car!! Dat r 'xactwy whut habbened!!
It wuz woadtwip day a coupla weeks 'go. Dadda an' me, Zaidie, always wate fur Momma (while hur r at hur weekwy mental healf tune-up!) in a nice parkin' wot a few bwocks fwum where Momma's doctor r wocated. We always (unwess it r wainin') walk tu a nearby park where I pway wif sum fwiends I hab maded AN' dere r a water fountain fur us pupses!!! When we gedded back tu da car, Dadda wuz fumbwin' wif hims keys, my weash an' stuff an' I 'cided tu go unner da Z.O.T.M.™ (my es-yu-bee) tu chek fings out! Dadda did nod 'ppweciate my 'ssistance an' sed da guys at da deawership where him buyed it du a weel gud job ob wookin' aftur da Z.O.T.M.™ an' dere r no need tu me tu helb. Him pulled me out fwum unner da car an' dere wuz (as yu sawed in da pichur) a big messy spot ob gwease an' uber unner-da-car junk on my LWD body! Him founded sum wags in da car an' twied wipe it off. Did NOD werk. Dem him twied water an' wags. WEALLY did nod werk!! :D
By dis time Momma wuz walkin' fru da parkin' wot. We wuz sittin' in sum gwass unner a twee, twyin' be ca-shoo-al an' stuff. Dat did NOD werk, iber! Momma sed,"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY LITTLE WHITE DOG???" As yu may hab 'xpected, we went wite home an' I habbed a baff. It taked sum scwubbin', bud da gwease an' junk camed off, ebentuawwy! Wuz it worf it?? Yu need ask??? BOLBOLBOL :D
Fanks fur pawticipatin' in my bery furst contest, pupses! We R gonna du dis 'gain an' Duncan, Momma habs yur addwess, so ged watchin' out yur winnow fur yur pwize. I r hopin' tu mail it dis weekend! WOO-HOO!! I hope yu will wike it an' dere will be NO tweats in it cuz I kno' Hammy r 'llergik tu wotza stuff, 'kay? Hab a pawsum weekend eberypup!
August 12th 2013 8:47 am
[ View A Comments (19) ]
*Zaidie's Momma reads an e-mail, informing her that Zaidie is a Daily Diary Pick on Dogster. She gets up from the computer and starts looking for her LWD. She sees him out on the deck, standing on a table with a squirrel. Both of them are staring intently at a map which is spread out at their feet; their heads are practically touching. She quietly opens the door to listen*
"Well, wook. If yu go dis way, I fink yu r gonna find yur way back home, Mistur Skwerl. All da twees yu hab 'ascwibed tu me r ober here, by da wiver. *taps on map with his fluffy LWD paw* An' if yu walk dis way *demonstrates the Westie Strut* BOLBOL!! I r jus' kiddin'!! Sewiouswy, doe, if yu walk dis way awong da twail *moves his paw along a section of the map*, yu r gonna pass by a gate an' jus' beyond dat r yur home. I r almost positibe 'bout dis."
"I don't know, Zaidie. You're used to walking -on- the trail. I'm used to seeing it from high above the ground, on hydro wires and trees. But, honestly, your guess is as good as mine and I have to get home with these groceries. We're completely out of nuts and the octuplets are probably driving the wife insane with their screechy, nervous chatter. I just don't get how I could have gotten so lost. This is my neighbourhood!!"
*pats Mister Squirrel on the back* "Dere, dere, my fwiend. Eberyfing r gonna be ok. I tell yu whut - yu take dis map, use it tu ged home an' den keep it, 'kay? Den hab it wif yu at all times so dat mabbe sumday yu can helb a wost skwerl or a lil' wost pubby or eben a wost kitty, 'cept dem r nod gud wisseners!"
"Oh, you got that right, Zaidie!! COLCOL! (Chatter Out Loud!) Thanks for all your help. I really mean it. Not every dog would take the time to help a lost squirrel. Most of them chase us and act like they want to kill us, when they've got perfectly good food waiting for them at home. I just don't get it."
"Neiber du I, Mistur Skwerl. Neiber du I...Hey, yu wanna swig ob Scotch 'afore yu head out?? It's weal gud, ageded a hunnerd yeers or sumfing!"
"Oh, sure. *gulps it down* WOW!! That is SOME Scotch, Zaidie! OMSOMS!! (Oh My Squirrel!!) Thanks for sharing and, hey, thanks for helping a guy get home, too. Seriously, dude, I am touched."
"Oh, now I r geddin' all berkwempt. *tears up* I r jus' habby tu wend a paw when it r needed. Safe twip home, my fwiend! *waves*
"Thanks, Zaidie!" *happily scampers off*
*Zaidie's Momma pauses for a minute; then steps outside* "HunBun, I saw you talking with a squirrel. Is he a friend of yours??"
"Uhhhh...*thinks fast* No, Momma. NO! Du nod be silly!! Me, Zaidie, be fwiends wif a skwerl?? Yu r nutz or sumfing??? O.M.D., woman."
"Well, you were standing right beside him and you weren't barking. It was a little confusing to me."
"Momma. Him r deaf AN' da battewies in hims heewin' aids r ded. I wuz barkin' wite intu hims ear an' it taked him a while tu figur out whut da heck wuz goin' on, 'kay?? Dat r it. Nuffin else. Pweeze. Hey, I hab sum bwekfus now???"
"Sure, Zaidie, and guess what! You're a Dogster Daily Diary Pick today!! Cool, huh??"
"Yeah, WAY kewl!! I hab sum bacon, mabbe??"
"Bacon with a side of bacon coming right up!"
August 6th 2013 5:50 pm
[ View A Comments (13) ]
A hole bunch ob us pupses weceibed a beeyooteeful golden hart star on our pwofile pages fwum sum pup named Nonymus. Since I du nod kno' any pup called Nonymus here on dis Dogster fing an' my serches hab uncubered nuffin in da way ob ebidence, I r gibbin' up. Yes, I r wavin' da wite fwag an' sayin',"Yu winned, Nonymus.!" Now...whu da heck yu r???
Pupdate - OMD! Nonymus jus' sended me a tastee ice cweem cone! ACK!!! *thud*
July 10th 2013 9:21 am
[ View A Comments (21) ]
WOO-HOO!! I r a DDP dis day!! Hmmmm...I wunner whut shood I wite 'bout dis day *leans back in his chair...a bit too far...tips over... -C-R-A-S-H*
"HELB, Momma!! Helb me, pweeze!!!"
"Oh, my goodness! Zaidie, are you okay?? HunBun, talk to me!!"
"I r ok, Momma, jus' toadawyy 'bawwassed an' junk." *gets back in his chair*
"Wook, Momma! I r a DDP dis day! Whut I shood wite 'bout, doe? I hab no idea."
"Well, I was thinking the other day that there are some songs which remind me of you. Want to write about them? And then your friends can do the same in the comments! Sound like fun?"
"Shur, Momma! Wet's ged started!"
"Well, the first song is pretty obvious, even though it's from way back in the 70s. It's by a group called War and it's called 'Why can't we be friends?'"
"BOL!! Dat r jus' wike me, Momma! I wanna be fwiends wif EBERY pup an' people I see! Hey, I fink I kno' dat one. Wemme sing it!!
♪ Why can nod we be fwiends?
Why can nod we be fwiends?
Why can nod we be fwiends?
Why can nod we be fwiends?
Da colour ob yur furs duz nod madder tu me!
As wong as we can wive in HAWMONEE!
Why can nod we be fwiends?
Why can nod.... ♫
"That's great, Zaidie! I think we get the gist of it! LOL!"
"Dere r anuber song, Momma??"
"Hmmmm... Oh, I know one! It's by Wild Cherry and it's called 'Play that Funky Music, White Boy", but I call it,'Play that Funky Music, Little White Dog." It was a hit back in 1976!"
"WOW. It r weel old. I r gonna twy sing it...*clears throat*
♪ Yeah, dem wuz dancin' an' singin'
an' moobin' tu da gwoobin' an'
jus' when it hitted me,
sumbuddy turnded 'wound an' shouted,
'Pway dat funkee music, Lil' White Dog,
Pway dat funkee music wite!
Pway dat funkee music, Lil' White Dog!
Way down da boogie an' pway dat funkee music 'til yu die! ♬"
"Awesome singing, little guy!! I think that's enough songs, though."
"Oh, Momma. How 'bout one more??"
"Okay. But this is it for today....Because you L-O-V-E the ladies, the song 'Me and Mrs. Jones' by Billy Paul from way, WAY back in '72 reminds me of you."
"BOLBOL! Yu kno' me tu well, Momma!
♬ Me an' Missus Jones...
We hab a FING goin' on.
We boff kno' dat it r wong,
bud it r MUSH tu stwong
tu wet it go now...
We meet eberyday at da same ca-fay
6 firty an' I kno' she r gonna be dere.
Holdin' paws an' makin' all kindza pwans,
While da jookbox pways our bestest song,
MEEEEE annnnnn' MISSUS, Missus JONES,
Missus Jones, Missus Jones, Missus Jones,
We hab a F-I-N-G goin' on...♪
"Wow. I had no idea you could sing like that, Zaidiepup."
"Bob teeched me. We always sing when da bottle ob scotch r emptee."
Pupses, now it r yur turn! Whut songs wemind yur person/people 'bout yu?? Fink 'bout it. Den join in da fun wite here!! Or if yu can nod fink ob a song, make one up!! :D
July 7th 2013 7:01 pm
[ View A Comments (31) ]
Hi, pupses. Much tu my Momma's chagwin, my Dadda hab entered a coupla photos ob himself an' him's lil' bwothur intu a contest. Tu win dis contest him needs him's fwiends an' fambly an' whueber else him can find tu bote fur him. Wast nite him sed,"Hey! You can put the links in a diary entry on Dogster!! Would you, please??" Momma sed,"Do I have to??"
If yu r jus' sittin' 'wound duin' nuffin : da waundwy r dunned, da pile ob iwonin r nod tuchin' da ceiwin', da cupboards an' da 'fwidge r filled wif taste fudz an' snacks, yur pup r cwean an' habby an' fed an' habbed so many walks him r hidin' in him's cwubhowse, all da cwosets r orgamized, da book shelbes r orgamized 'ccordin' tu colour, da pantwy r orgamized alfamabeticawwy an' ebery surface in da hole howse hab beened dusted AN' yu maded da obwigatowy call tu yur Mother, pweeze consider usin' da winks pwobided tu bote fur my Dadda. Botin' fur him's photos ends on Tooesday, 'wound noon, I fink, so if yu r weadin' dis aftur dat, pweeze ignore dis hole fing. Me an' my hole fambly fank yu fur yur pawticipashun.
Vote for Photo 1
Vote for Photo 2
July 1st 2013 10:26 am
[ View A Comments (24) ]
Habby Canada Day tu all my fwiends, be dem pups or people, whu wive in dis pawsum countwy we call home! Wave a Canadian fwag pwoudwy, sing da nashunal antfem, eat tastee Canadian bacon an' butter tarts (no waisins, pweeze!)! Pick sum fiddleheads fwum yur garden an' sew-tay dem in sum butter! Head ober tu yur nayberhood Tim Horton's an' order a wed an' white coloured donut awong wif yur usual dubble-dubble (large cawfee wif 2 sugars an' 2 cweems!)Den head ober tu sum gweasee spoon pwace an' order sumfing called POOTEEN (poutine) which r fwies wif gwavee an' cheez curds on top!!
Den yu cood watch a way kewl Canada Day pawade which r habbenin' jus' a coupla bwocks fwum yur bery own howse! 'cept yu can nod go cuz yur Dadda r pweppin' fur a medical pwocedure which r gonna habben nexx day. I hab no idea whut, bud I du kno' dat him r spendin' WOTZA time in da baffwoom an' dwinkin' WOTZA water an' chiggen bwoth an' herbal teaz an' ginger ale an' beef bwoth. Him can hab NO FUDZ! Whut da woof??
Dadda r on baycayshuns wite now, so we r hopin' tu go tu my bestest beach later dis week. I will keep yu pupses pupdated, 'kay? Hab a wunnerful day an' EAT SUM MEATZ™ fur me!
P.S. I almost furgotted!! If dere r fireworks at yur howse or neer yur howse, yu pupses shood stay inside where yu r safe, SAFE, S-A-F-E, pweeze! Wotza pupses ged skeered cuz ob da WOUD booms an' fwashes ob wite an' junk. Sum wun off an' get wost! So unwess, yu r Finwey an' Whitwey, whu say dem WUFF da fireworks, stay home, 'kay?? Gud werk ♥
Sort By Oldest First
(What does RSS do?)