May 23rd 2012 10:22 am
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OMDOMDOMD! Pupses, I jus' founded out dat dis day r my pawents' 25th annibersary! Yu kno' whut dat r meenin', wite? Yu kno' it - dem r O-L-D :D
Momma weared a beeyooful white dwess, maded outta wotza soft fwoat-y stuff wike silk an' organza an' dere wuz tiny lil' pearls on it an' sparkwy junk, tu, an' on hur hed dere wuz sum uber kinda fwoat-y fing called a beil!
An' Dadda weared a tux!! No, him did nod wear our gud fwiend Tux fwum Idunno!!! BOLBOL :D Bud da tux *wuz* bwack!!
"Where I wuz dat day, Momma??"
"Oh, Zaidie, you weren't born yet! I don't think your great-great-great grandparents were even born!"
"WOW. Yu an' Dadda weally r old. Dere wuz any pupses at yur weddin'?"
"No, no pups at our wedding. My family's dog, your Unkle Teddy stayed home, but there were kids and lots of food and adult beverages and dancing and photos and fun!"
"Eben *yu* habbed fun, Momma??"
"Yes, Zaidie, even *I* had fun."
"Yu an' Dadda wented on one ob dose moonin' fings??"
"Uh...You mean a honeymoon?"
"Yeah, dat r it!!"
"Yes, we did. First we moved me and all my stuff into the house we'd bought two months before and then we went to St. Lucia to relax after such a busy time."
"Yu wewaxed, Momma? Dere wuz Bodka Dwips™ dere??"
"No, HunBun. Vodka drips™ hadn't yet been invented, but whenever we wanted an adult beverage or food or to go waterskiing or into town, we just had to ask! It was an all-inclusive place. Even cigarettes were there for the taking."
" *gasp* Yu smokeded, Momma??? OMD :O"
"No, we didn't, Zaidie-Pup!"
"Dat r a wewief! Um, Momma. I hab sum stuffs I need du. I be wite back." *runs off to call Blake and Felix, the party planners*
May 21st 2012 1:11 pm
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I kno' whut yu pupses r finkin' : "Hey, Zaidie/Z-Pup/Zaidiecakeses/Z/Mr. Cakeses/Zaidiepup/MEATZ™Guy/Mistur Pawsum (I maded up dat one myselb!)/SuperZaidie™/LWD/BPOC™(Big Pup On Campus)!! Whut da heck r go on wif da firewerks an' all dat stuffs 'bout sum wady named Bictoria on yur pwofile page?? Whu da heck r Bictoria, anywayz??"
If yu hab nod seened it, pweeze take dis obbortunity tu hed ober tu my pwofile page now an' chek it out. I will wate wite here 'til yu ged back. *waits and waits... does the Westie strut for a while...scams a snack*
Oh, dere yu r! Hey. Furst yu pupses need seddle down. C'mon. I r nod sayin' anuber werd 'til yu du!...*taps paw* Ok, gud werk.
Here in Canada, where I wive, dis r da Bictoria Day wong weekend. A bery wong time 'go, ober in Bwitain, dere wuz a queen an' hur name wuz Bictoria. Hur wuz borned on May 24, 1819 an' hur dieded on January 22, 1901. We cewebwate Queen Bictoria's birfday on da fird Monday in May.
Bictoria inhewited da thwone fwum hur Unkle, King William IV when hur wuz 18. Dat meens hur wuz a teenager an', until hur becamed queen, Bictoria pwobabwy did all kindza cwazee, nutzo stuffs wike teenagers du. I hab wooked at my Momma's foto albums 'nuff tu kno' dat dis r twoo. Bud I digwess...
Queen Bictoria weigned fur 63 yeers an' seben monfs which r a bery wong time. In fakt, hur r da wongest weignin' female monarch in histowy! Dis yeer, Queen 'Wizabeff II r cewebwatin' hur 60th yeer as da Queen ob Bwitain an' Bwitish Commonwealf countwies wike Canada. Hur r catchin' up tu dat old, ded wady named Bictoria :D Queen Bictoria's birfday r da weesun fur ALL da firewerks dis weekend an' dem r pwetty, bud dem r also W-O-U-D.
Dis r gonna be da fird nite in a row dat I r gonna be wappded up in my Funnershirt an' wyin' on top ob Dadda so I can snuggle wif him an' helb him nod be so skeered. Until dem make a Funnershirt fur gwown-ups, dis r all I can du. Momma cood uze a Funnershirt tu, bud hur r usuawwy on da ceilin', anyway, bud dat r a hole nuber story :D
I hope yu hab enjoyed dis histowical interwude. Hab a wuffwy ebenin', pupses, an' du nod be 'bawwassed tu wear yur Funnershirt cuz I wear one, tu, an' I r da kewlest pup on Earf :D
May 13th 2012 3:21 pm
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...tu all da Mommas all ober da werld wefer dem hab pup kidses or hooman kidses! We du nod 'scwiminate here at Zaidie's Howse ob Haggis an' Scotch :D
As yu may hab noticed, my Dogster page, dis week feechurin' all kindza pink gurly junk...ooops, I meen stuff...r a twibute tu all da 'portant wadies in our wives. I eben wited a poem-fing in honur ob dem an' how speshul dem r in dis werld.
"Zaidie Levi Gee. You did NOT write that poem!"
"You can put it in your diary, but you will NOT take credit for it. Do you hear me??"
"Yes, Momma...whispers *OMD, wady. Ged a gwip*"
~ Every Woman is a Mother ~
Every woman is a mother when she folds her hands in prayer for a child.
Feeds one when he's hungry,
clothes him when he's cold,
or holds him when he's scared.
Listens to his hopes and dreams,
and tells him the world needs who he is.
Smiles as a child walks by,
or cries when she knows just one
child is crying somewhere in the world.
The conception for this woman becoming a mother takes place in her heart, and the delivery comes through her hands.
Every woman carries the ability and power to change the world one child at a time.
This birth is not measured in months, but spans her lifetime.
Every woman is a mother when she makes a difference in just one child.
Have you chosen to be a mother?
copyright 1999 Janice Asien LaRosa
Now wun ober tu yur Momma an' tell hur how much yu wuff hur an' gib hur all kindza swoppy wet kisses! Dem WUFF dat mushy stuff! Ged goin' :D
♥ ❀ ☀™
May 5th 2012 12:43 pm
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"Momma. Wake up. Yu r habbin' a bad dweem!"
"What? Where am I??"
"It r ok, Momma. Jus' bweathe an' stuff, 'kay? I r wite here." *Westie struts across the bed to his Momma*
"Oh, deer. Seddle down, Momma. Eberyfing r gonna be ok. I r wite here wif yu. It wuz onwy a dweem an' it r all ober now, 'kay?
Dere, dere my lil' Momma." *gently strokes her head*
"Oh my gudness, Momma. Whut da dweem wuz 'bout?"
"Oh, Zaidiepup. You escaped and I tried to keep up with you, but whenever I saw you, you'd run off and I'd lose sight of you. OMG. There was SO much traffic. I was certain you'd be hit by a car. I was F-R-A-N-T-I-C! "
"Bud, Momma, wook. Here I r, wite 'side yu. I wood neber wun 'way fwum yu. I wuff yu an' Dadda. Yu inbited me intu yur home an' da 3 ob us becamed a famiwy. Yu an' Dadda take da bestest care ob me an' make shur I r safe an' dat I ged 'nuff tu eat...Well, it r neber 'nuff, bud I r nod gonna ged intu dat wite now. bol.
Yu helb Dadda tortu - oops, I meen gib me baffs an' yu twust me tu nod weck da howse when I r weft 'wone...'cept yu put da papers an' 'portant junk outta my weach an' yu cwose da fwench doors so I r twapped in da wivin' woom, bud uber dan dat, fings r weel gud. Why I wun 'way when I hab it so gud here? Nod gonna habben, nice wady. Neber."
"Awww...Thank you for being so sweet, HunBun. Those dreams are the worst kind, but it's over and now it's time for breakfast. What would you like to have today?"
"Yu meen I hab a choice?? OMD. How 'bout MEATZ™ wif a side ob bacon, fowwowed by chiggen wif a side ob bacon; ham wif a side ob bacon; den bacon wif a side ob bacon an' den bacon ice cweem wif..."
April 25th 2012 9:47 am
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Yes, pupses, we r hedin' back in time. Our heds r hurtin' cuz dem r filled wif witers' bwocks. Anyfur, wet's ged dis show on da woad :D
Fur sum weason I hab habbed da Spiderman feme song wunnin' 'wound in my LWD hed fur decades. It r geddin' kinda 'nnoyin', so I figurded dat if I wite my own lywics usin' da music ob da Spiderman song, it mite nod be QUITE so 'nnoyin'. If yu du nod kno' da Spiderman feme song, yu shood wissen tu it onwine an' den, when it r stucked in yur head fur years an' days, yu can use da Zaidie-pup lywics an' it be F-U-N fur eberypup an' peeples, nod 'nnoyin' BOL! :D
White an' fwuffy fwum butt tu top.
Eats a snack, needs no pwate,
Snatches fudz fwum yur face.
Hey dere! Here comes da Zaidiepup!!
R him cute?
Him habs Dogster fwiends more dan yu!
Can him walk, on a weash?
He's a doggie wif hims own beech.
Hey, dere!! Dere goes da Zaidiepup!!
When him sweeps at nite
He will wake, so will you!
Don't turn on dat wite!!
Jus' watch out fur dat poop!!
Fwiendwy nayberhood Zaidiepup.
Fun an' games?
He's yur pup!
Chasin' skwerls r in hims bwood.
Tu him, (l)wife r a gwate big wuff-fest.
Whereber dere r peeples
Yu'll find da Zaidiepup :D
April 19th 2012 8:47 am
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Pupses! I du nod hab a wotta time here now cuz dis r woadtwip day. But afore I weabe, yu need kno' dat FINALLY dere r CHEEZ IN DA GIFF SHOP an' TENNIS BALLSES IN DA GIFF SHOP!!! No, I r nod kiddin'!
Ged ober dere an' chek it out. GO...N-O-W!! No, it r nod a jue-cy burger wif fwies an' a stwawberry shake fur Zoe cuz hur WUFFS dem an', no, it r nod a hawt dawg fwesh off da gwill, bud yu wated a decade or sumfing so it cood kewl down afore yu swawwowed da fing hole, wifout eben boferin' wif a bun an' mustard an' welish an' junk an', no, it r nod a hunk ob 'licious woast beest witch r dwippin' wif fwabour an' an' r still BERY jue-cee an' pink in da middle. OOOPS :O I jus' swipped on my own dwools! BOL!
Anyfur, we r gwateful tu HQ fur changin' fings up a bit here. Since da weel seesun fur burnin' MEATZ™ duz nod 'ffishully start 'til nexx monf, we r gonna be payshunt wike saints or sumfing an' we will NOD compwain one tiny lil' bid, 'kay pupses?? Such gud doggies yu r ♥
BTW, r I da onwy pup whu habs a Momma whu WAFFS OUT WOUD when hur finks 'bout whut a WEEL Dogster Giff Shop wood be wike, wif all ob us wandewin' 'wound, sniffin' eberypup an' eatin' stuff afore we eben ged a chance tu put it in our shoppin' cart?? An' da wine-ups at da check-out? OY BEY :D Toadal K-OS!
I be back lader pupses! Pweeze hab a bery gud day an' if yur peeples r sick, yu kno' whut yu need du, wite?? No. Yu du nod waid da fweezer until da payshunt r in a deep sweep, fanks tu da sweepin' pill yu swipped intu da cup ob tee yu made fur hur. Got it?? :D
April 16th 2012 8:55 pm
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Can yu say "witer's bwock"? Dis r habbenin' tu me wite now an' it r makin' me cwazee. Bud while I werk on geddin' my gwoove back, pweeze enjoy dis diawy entwy fwum wong ago - da FURST one E-B-E-R!! I du nod sound wike myselb an' whut da heck r up wif my spellin' an' gwammar??
January 5th, 2009 *Home Again*
I'm back from my 'cation at Bob's house while my people went on a big, silver bird to Uncle Paul's place. He lives in that place where they say," It never snows! This is nuts." But it snowed A LOT. They could have used me to help clean up. I love to pretend I'm a snowplow! My person (the one who smells like flowers) thinks that Seattle should invest in some snow removal 'quipment...just in case. "We have fire insurance, just in case," she said.
I had TONS of fun playing with the other doggies at Bob's place. He would open the door and we would run outside with no leashes 'cause he has a 'Westiefied' yard...but who would want to escape??? I slept on Bob's bed and he told me that he will always love me and that I can stay at his place anytime. My life is GREAT!
April 7th 2012 12:00 pm
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"Momma! Gess whut! I r a DDP dis day!! WOO-HOO :D"
"Mabbe I r gonna ged stuckded in da 'Dogster Time Woop Contiuum-fing' 'gain?! Dat r always a gud time!"
"It's good thing we finally got around to checking Dogster today. I'm sorry I was too busy to get there until now."
"An' so yu shood be, Momma. Gud gwief. Dis r my werld an' yu r jus' wivin' in it. I fot yu unnerstanded dat. Now wet's ged ober tu Schnauzers Wule where I r a honorary memmer an' pway games afore dem weboke my memmership :O "
*Speshul fanks tu all my pup palses fur da EASTER EGGS BONANZAS an' uber wuffwy giffs yu hab been sendin' me! My page r so oberfwowin' wif wuff an' eggs an' Eastur gweetings dat I r...*sob*...all berkwempt an' junk.
Habby Eastur, Habby Passober an' Happy Spwing tu all ob yu ♥ ❀ ☀™*
April 6th 2012 2:10 pm
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Wite now, in da Dogster Giff Shop yu will find a speshul giff yu can send tu all yur pup palses fur $000.000. Yes, dat meens it r fwee :O
Take adbantage ob HQ's genewosity an' ged sendin' 'Eastur Egg Bonanzas' tu all yur fwiends! Dis r a wimited time offer. Send yur eggs dis day :D
*Dis hab beened a Pubwic Serbice 'Nnouncement fwum 'Zaidie Webi Gee Industwies™ Inc.*
April 5th 2012 8:04 am
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"Welcome back to the 2nd half of the 4th Annual Zaidie's 'Gotcha Day, Nod Birfday' Day Pawade. Dis r...CRAP...He's got me doing the Zaidie-speak, too :D This is Bartholemew Nolan, live on Channel 5 with your up-to-the-minute 'ZGDNBDP™' 2012 coverage. With me today, of course, is Zaidie! He's the reason for the season, as they say!"
"Dem shur du say dat, Barf an' sumtimes dem eben say,"Hey, whut da heck r go on???' BOLBOLBOL!!"
"Uh, yeah, sure, Zaidie....Well, look - the 2nd half of the parade is about to begin. Who's up first?"
"Well, Barf, dis r da 'LWD Bagpipeses Bwigade'. Dem camed all da way fwum dose Highwands ob Scotwand tu perform fur us dis day. Wet's wissen, shall we?" *hums along*
"OMG. A-C-K! Make them stop, PLEASE!! I beg of you! NO MORE @$#@#@%$ BAGPIPES!!!"
"Barf, seddle down. Yu r gonna fwi-ten 'way our sponsurs! Wifout dem, dere R no pawade. Man up, dude!"
"Zaidie, my ears are BLEEDING. The noise is horrific! Any of these clowns ever had a lesson??"
"Nope. Dem r all self-tot. See dat pup ober dere wif da short lil' leggies?" *points*
"They all have short legs, Zaidie. You mean him? *points*
"NO. Him *points* Him r a pwofessur ob bagpiping at Harbard Unibersity. We hab sum ob da bestest tawent in da hole werld wite here afore us." *LWD heart swells with pride*
"Can they not make it less agonizing to listen to???"
"Oh, no, Barf. Dis r perfek. It r 'spposed make yur ears hurt. Dat r jus' part ob da beeyootee ob da bagpipeses.
An' fowwowin' wite 'hind da bagpipin' pupses r ...O.M.D....it r da Canadian Nashunal Westie Stwuttin' Team!! Wook at dem go! Dem r fwesh fwum da Werld Champeenship in Was Begas where dem stwutted 'way wif GOLD! Dem winned da hole fing!!!"
"How many teams were there, Zaidie? Sounds like a huge event."
"Oh, dem wuz da onwy teem, Barf, bud dem winned!! An' dem cameded here fur da ZGDNBDP™, 2012. I r tuched by dere genewosity. Oh, deer, now I r all berkwempt."
"What's that they're doing now??"
"OMD. Dem r duin' it in weberse! I teeched dem dis myselb, when dem wuz jus' tiny, lil', wee pupses durin' dere furst yeer at da Zaidie Webi Gee Skool ob Danse. I cood nod be more pwoud ob dese pupses dan I r wite now. *sob sob sob*
"Okay. I think we'll take a break while Zaidie collects himself. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor, The Zaidie Levi Gee School of Butchery, where your good eating is our business™"
~ End of Part 3 ~
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