November 23rd 2013 2:49 pm
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Hi, pupses! Habby Day-Aftur-Zaidie's-Birthday!! Unfortumatewy Momma habs sum kinda cold/fwu fing an' hur r nod feewin' gud 'nuff tu du a pwoper 'fank yu' diawy entwy, bud we jus' wanted tu pop in quikwy an' say FANK YU SO BERY MUCH fur all da pawsum giffs an' comments an' messages an' cards an' wuff yu sended tu me, Zaidie, all cuz it wuz my birfday, nod dis day, bud yes'day! I wuff yu an' it r bery cwear dat yu wuff me, tu!!
Sowwy 'bout dat hole wun-on sentence! BOL :D *runs off to make tea for his icky-feeling Momma*
November 22nd 2013 1:24 pm
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Hi, eberypup an' welcome tu my birfday!! I asked Momma,"Whut number I r dis yeer??" An' hur telled me I r 6. So far, 6 r F-U-N!! My page r oberfwowin' wif all kindza giffs fwum my fwiends! I added a tastee MEATZ™ backgwound tu my page, so pweeze feel fwee tu stop by an' gwab a hunk ob it AN' helb yurselbes tu sum birfday tweats while yu r dere! Dere r cake an' cuppycakes an' punkin pies an' a hole woad ob turkee dwumstiks! Du nod be shy an' ged eatin'!
Earwier dis day sum guy in a twuck bweaked intu my howse, went down intu da basement an' fixed our water softner-fing! I wuz helded hostage in da LWD Cwubhowse an' wuz unable tu appwehend him, bud I BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKed my LWD hed off an' made a weal wacket! Finawwy him steelded Momma's $$$ card an' den gedded outta here, bud nod a moment tu soon! My Momma wuz weady tu bwow a gasket or werser an', ged dis, all cuz ob me!! Hur sed it wuz WUDE ob me tu bark so darn much, bud I telled hur dat it wuz WUDE ob da guy fur intwudin' on my birfday!! Anywayz, I wited a song 'bout it. It r toadawwy owiginal, so if any ob yu pupses hab 'older' pawents, dem r gonna say,"Hey, that song's from the '60s! That Zaidie-Pup is lyin'!" yu can say,"Him r nod wyin'! Dis r a Z-Pup owiginal!", 'kay???
♪ It r my Birfday! An' I r gonna bark if I wanna, Bark if I wanna, Bark if I wanna!! Yu wood bark tu if sum guy wuz in yur basement wif yur Momma, tu!! ♫
Yeah, I kno'. It needs sum werk. In da meemtime, enjoy da west ob dis pawtackuwar 'Zaidie's 6th Birfday an' be shur tu tell yur people dem MUST feed yu sum MEATZ™ fur yur dinner. It r da waw dis day cuz I sed so!
Fanks fur all da comments an' giffs an' messages yu hab sended tu me. My LWD hart hab 'sploded wif ALL DA WUFF I r feelin' fwum all ob yu. It r kind ob a mess, bud well worf it. I wuff yu pupses ♥
November 1st 2013 3:15 pm
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OMD!! Yes'day, afore we wented on our weguwar Fursday woadtwip, dere wuz NO fwee giff in da Dogster Giff Shoppe. Den dis day, I wogged in an' wented tu my pwofile page an', wo an' beholded, dere wuz hunnerds an' hunnerds ob skeery bone guys! I fink dem r called skewetonz or ded guyz or sumfing. Anywayz, I wood wike tu fank eberypup fur sendin' dem tu me an' makin' my page weal skeery an' howwifik an' junk! Momma passded out!
I jus' sended out a coupla gabillyun ob dem tu my fwiends! I hope I did nod miss any pup. Dogster maded it kinda difficult an' I habbed tu du it ober an' ober 'gain cuz it keeped nod werkin', bud da 'portant fing r da lil' tweat I 'ttached tu yur bones!! Hungwy???
Jus' wemember : sharin' r fur kitties!!! BOL :D
October 23rd 2013 2:57 pm
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"Zaidie! Get up! You're a DDP today, HunBun!"
"Well, WOO-HOO! So ...dere r MEATZ™ in da Giff Shoppe??"
"No, but your friends would love to hear from you. Please get up and write a short diary entry, okay??"
"I need fink 'bout it, Momma. *thinks hard* 'Kay. I r comin'." *thudcrashbang*
"I felled outta bed! My LWD leggies r nod werkin'!! HALP ME!!"
"Oh, good grief, Zaidie! I knew this would happen. Your muscles have atrophied. It could take weeks before you're back on your feet."
"Well, cwap...HEY! Wemmemer dat pubby carrier yu buyed cuz yu fot I wood be so lil' an' 'dorable an' helbwess dat I wood need be cawwied all da time??"
"Yes, I remember. The Puppy Bjorn™?"
"Yeah, dat r it! Stwap me in an' wet's ged duin' stuff, Momma! Dis r gonna be F-U-N! Hangin' 'wound wif Momma, twenny-four/seben!" *jumps into the carrier*
"&%$%#$# OMG, Zaidie! How much do you weigh??"
"I dunno, Momma! A hunnerd or sumfing? Wet's go fur a walk! Whut a gwate day!!! WOO-HOO!!!"
October 22nd 2013 3:43 pm
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Yup! Yu weaded it wite, pupses! Zoe AN' Hershey r cewebwatin' birfdays dis day! An' gess whut! Dem r boff turnin' 8! Imagine dose odds!
Anyway, I wited a lil' stowy 'bout dem. Wanna heer it? Ob corse yu du, so wissen up!
One day, 8 yeers 'go, a wunnerful fambly whu wived in Idunno wuz out fur a walk on a wuffwy autumn day. Dere wuz a Mommy an' a Daddy an' 2 'dorable an' bery well-behabed an' weally smart kids named Sissor an' Bwofur. Dis day da Daddy wuz pointin' out nature stuff, so da 2 kids wood wern junk an' be eben SMARTER dan dem awweady wuz!
"Now look at this tree, children. This particular tree is found only in Idaho. Does either of you have any idea what kind of tree this is?"
"Well, of course, Dad. It's a potato tree...Hey, can I go back home now? I'm expecting a call from M.I.T. They're having some computer issues again and have requested my assistance."
"I would appreciate being allowed to head home, as well. My conference call with NASA starts at 2pm."
"Okay, kids. You run along, then. Your mother and I will be home shortly."
Da pawents watched as dere kids wunned home. Den dem 'cided tu pick sum fwesh 'tatoes fur dinner. Wite dere, on da furst bwanch dem went tu pick fwum, wuz a tiny lil' wee pubby gurl! Hur wuz compwetewy 'dorable an' hur habbed da wongest eyewashes dem hab eber seened!!!
"Oh, my! What a sweet little pup! She must be a Miniature Potato Schnauzer! Who knew they were still in season? Should we take her home with us? The children would SO love to have a dog!"
So dem taked da tiny lil' wee gurl pup home an' da kids named hur Zoe an' dem all wived habbiwy eber aftur.
~ Dis r da end ob da Zoe part ~
On da bery same October day, a bery nice wady an' hur husband wuz habbin' dere mornin' cawfeez in dat way kewl city called Ban Sanfwisco. Da wady cood nod stop finkin' 'bout chocowate, so hur asked ,"Would you be interested in accompanying me to Ghirardelli Square, home of the delicious Ghirardelli chocolate?"
"Thinking about chocolate again?"
"Yes. Yes, I am! Shall we go?" And off they went. (Pwease du da Google fing tu find out more 'bout da Ghirardelli Chocowate company. It r bery, bery innerwestin', bud I r wunnin' outta energies here!)
Da nice wady an' hur husband wandered 'wound da square, shoppin' an' peeple-watchin' an' wewaxin' in da beeyooful sunshine, while sittin' on benches dat oberwooked da water, drinkin' more cawfeez.
"Shall we pick some treats from the chocolate tree before heading home?"
Da Ghirardelli twee wuz SO heavy wif chocowate dat da bwanches wuz bendin' down ontu da gwound! Da nice wady wifted a bwanch an' started tu pick, when suddenwy hur heared da whimperings ob a tiny lil' wee pubby!!!
"Oh, my goodness!!! Look! A Chocolate Cocker Spaniel puppy! I had no idea they were in season! I've always wanted one and now our family is complete. Let's go home!"
~ Dis r da end ob da Hershey part ~
Kewl stories, huh? An' dem r toadawwy twue! Yup, boff ob dem, one hunnerd percent twue! Whu knowed, wite? Habby Birfday, Zoe an' Hershey!
October 19th 2013 2:13 pm
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"Zaidie. Are you getting out of bed today??"
"Well, Momma. Du *yu* see any MEATZ™ in da Dogster Giff Shoppe dis day?"
"No, I don't, but I'd really be happy if you got out of bed for a while. You've been in there for over a month."
"An' why dat r, Momma? Hmmmm???"
"Because HQ removed the steak from the Gift Store and hasn't replaced it with another form of meat. Staying in bed for weeks on end is your crazy way of getting HQ to bring it back. I don't think they care, Zaidie. I'm guessing they don't think anyone grills meat unless it's summer."
"Well, dem r WONG."
"So...you're going to spend the rest of your life in bed, then??"
"A pup needs du whut a pup needs du, Momma."
"I'd love to wash your bed sheets, HunBun. I can smell them, and you, from here. And your poor LWD muscles - they must be so very sore and stiff after a month of no walks and no chasing squirrels and no "YAY, Dadda's home!!!' dances."
*rolls onto his back and waves his paws in the air* "Nope, wook! Nuffin r sore! Hey, Momma! Wanna wub da bellay? Dis fing r nod gonna wub itselb, yu kno'!"
"Sorry. I don't have time, Zaidie. You're almost out of diapers. I need to run to the store. Don't you miss going outside to potty???"
"No. Nod weally. Hey, da people at da store du nod kno' da diapers r fur me, wite??"
"Well, yes, they have to know. These diapers are specially made to fit you, so there's a picture of you on the wall in the office with your measurements. The store manager has to order them in just for you."
"Oh, well. At weast none ob my Dogster fwiends kno''bout it...Yu bwing me a speshul tweat fwum da store, Momma??"
September 27th 2013 2:22 pm
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"Zaidie! It's after 10 am. Are you planning to get up soon??"
"Ohhhh, woe r me....Momma, I r nod feelin' tu gud. Ohhhhhhh..."
*Momma runs up the stairs*
"What's wrong, HunBun??" *feels his furry forehead to check for fever*
"Hmmmm...You don't feel warm to me. Is your little tumtum hurting??"
"Well, yeah. Mabbe cuz dere r no MEATZ™ in it?? Yeah, I bet dat r it!! Fwy me up sum bacon, Momma! I r feewin' bedder jus' finkin' 'bout it!"
"We don't have any bacon, sweet pup, and I don't want to leave you alone while I run to the store to get some, either."
"I be ok, Momma. Until I eat sum kinda MEATZ™, I r tu weak tu ged outta bed. Watch dis...*sits up; immediately falls back onto his pile of pillows, his lavender nightshades and his teddy bear collection* Yu puff up my piwwows, pweeze, Momma??"
"Zaidiepup, does this have anything to do with the fact that there's no meat in the Dogster Gift Shop?"
"Whut?? Ob corse nod. Howeber, I DU fink dat HQ hab maded a HOOGE mistake. Wifout MEATZ™, whut r da point ob anyfing??"
"Oh, Zaidie. How did you get to be so jaded??"
"Jaded?? Whut da heck dat r?? Um, I hab my bwekfuss now, pweeze, Momma??"
September 26th 2013 5:32 pm
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Hi, pupses...*sniff* I r nod habbin' a gud day. Yes, I r a DDP an' I wood wike tu say FANKS tu yu pupses whu sended wosettes tu helb me cewebwate dis iwwustwious 'ccayshun. *sob* 'Cept dere r NO MEATZ™ in da Dogster Giff Shoppe!! I wepeet - NO MEATZ™ in da Giff Shoppe!! ... *grabs his fluffy head* I r weal dizzee an' woozee. I need wie down. Tawk 'mongst yurselbes. Oy bey...
September 22nd 2013 9:27 am
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Hi, pupses an' gess whut! My Momma jus' buyed me a Howlween costume an' normawwy I wood NOD be habby 'bout dat, 'cept dis year hur buyed me da kewlwest costume EBER!! Gess whut I r gonna be!.....R yu gonna gess?...I r waitin'...C'mon an' gess!!
No, Zoe. I r nod gonna be a ballerwina an' wear a pink tutu. OMD.
No, Fizzy. I r nod gonna be a hunk ob cheez an' make yu dwown in a puddle ob yur own dwoolz. *shakes his head*
No, Zaidie. I r nod gonna be a skwerl an' bark at my own selb....Wait. Dis r makin' my head hurt.
Yu gib up yet?...Now?...NOW???
I r gonna be a mobster! Yup, a weal mobster. I r gonna be tuff an' mean an' skeery an' wear shiny, fake Italian soots an' be dwiben 'wound da town in a HOOOGE fancy car by sum guy whu werks fur ME an' I r gonna hab a HOOGE entourwage ob guys wif me all da time an' dem will du whuteber I say, when I say it, wike dis : Me :"Bwing me dat skwerl ober dere an' chase him fur me, 'kay, Tony??" "Shur, boss." Kewl, huh?? An' I r gonna eat wotza MEATZ™ cuz our secwet meetings r gonna take pwace in a butcher shop an'...'Scuse me a minit, pweeze. "Yes, Momma? A whut?? A w-o-b-s-t-e-r. A WOBSTER? Dat r nod skeery an' tuff. Wobsters ged cotted an' eated. How dat r skeery??...Whut? CUTE? Why I wanna be cute??? OMD. My life r wuined.
September 2nd 2013 8:50 am
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Finawwy, it r here - Nayber Day! Dis r one ob my fabouwitest days ob da yeer ('sides Chwissmus an' my Birfday an' my Gotcha Day) when we ged tu go outside an' knock on our naybers doors ('cept us pupses need hab a people wif us cuz we r nod tu gud at knockin') an' say,"HABBY NAYBER DAY, NAYBER!!" Den dem go out tu dere deck an' take a hunk ob MEATZ™ off dere gwill an' dem walk back tu da fwont door where yu r sittin' in a pool ob yur own dwool, waitin' fur a tastee tweet an' dem gib it tu yu an' yu gwab dat hunk ob MEATZ™ wike yu hab nod beened feeded in monfs an' weeks an' yu choke a bit cuz yur lil' froat r kinda dwy aftur da chiggen yu wolfded down at anuber naybers pwace, bud yu wuz bery powite an' eated it anywayz, bud now yu weally need a bowl ob water cuz if yu keep on chokin' yu r gonna urka gurka ALL OBER da fwont hall, so dem bwing yu sum nice fwesh water an' yu dwink it, while makin' dat 'dorable schlurpin' sound dat yur Momma finks r OH-SO-CUTE, 'cept when yur Dadda duz it hur sez it r NOD cute an' den yu say,"FANKS, NAYBER!" an' yu 'cide tu cwoss da stweet an' go tu da howse ober dere, bud dem jus' moobed in an' yu r nod shur dem kno' how Nayber Day werks in yur 'hood, bud yu knock on dere fwont door (wif a lil' helb!) an' sum guy in hims unnerwears answers an' a kitty wuns out an' down da fwont steps, so yu, ob corse, hab no choice bud tu CHASE DAT KITTY, dwaggin' yur Momma ahind yu an' da guy in hims unnerwears r yellin' cuz dat kiity r a INDOOR kitty, 'cept now him r a OUTDOOR kitty an' him hab cwimbed a BERY tall twee in an effort tu ged 'way fwum yu, while yur Momma r on hur fone, cwyin' an' tellin' Dadda whut da heck r go on, 'cept him r habbin' a shower an' can nod heer da fone wing-wing-wing...
"Yes, Momma?... Oh. "
'Cept it r ackfurwawwy Wabour Day, pupses. Hab fun duin' whuteber da heck dat meens. I wuff yu!
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