09/25/12 Barking

Today I’d like to talk about barking. Some of you have been very diligent on making sure your humans are aware of what is actually happening around them; others seem to take a more laid back attitude and figure if the humans aren’t making a big deal out of something lurking about outside then why should you?

Now that brings me back to the barking…Coco and I are sitting up on the daybed waiting for the delivery of the new dishwasher so we can bark our heads off. As you all know, we are in the process of packing up or California house and getting ready to move to New Mexico. One of the things momma is taking with her is the dishwasher that is in the California house. In the ten years that the humans have lived in our California home, there have been four different dishwashers. The one that was installed in the house when the humans bought it lasted less than one year. Yup, it would not get the dishes clean so momma bought a different brand from the local home improvement store. Of course it cleaned well at first, then, it too stopped cleaning the dishes so that one was also replaced with a different model. The third dishwasher probably lasted three years and once again momma noticed that it too was leaving “stuff” on the plates and glasses. In a desperate move, momma bought the fourth dishwasher and she is finally happy so she is not going to leave it here in the house we are going to rent out. I really don’t understand why she needs a dishwasher anyhow as all she has to do is put the dishes on the floor and Coco and I would be happy to clean them for her and it would save a lot of money and frustration.

It also happens to be trash pick up day so that means there will be three different trash trucks (regular, recyclable and green waste) coming along. These are always fun to bark at because we want to let the humans know that someone is stealing our trash but each week all we get for our efforts is “SHUT UP”!

We will also get to bark like crazy when daddy comes home. He had some business to take care of this morning so when we get home it will be a barking party. Daddy actually hates that we do this because we sound like a pack of wild dogs but he has to understand our point of view, someone needs to let momma know that there is an intruder coming into the house so that’s what we do.

And if we get really lucky the UPS or FEDEX drivers will come to the house and deliver packages to Coco or me, so of course we will bark, bark, BARK. I’m still waiting for the first shipment of NEW stuffies from pals that want me to grow them in the magic red sand rock soil on our New Mexico rancho. Make sure you send them soon because the snows will start pretty soon and I’d like to get them in the ground before the temperatures get below freezing. For those of you who send your stuffies when the temperatures are too cold to plant outside I do have a state of the art green house so they can be planted indoors, but please be aware that stuffies tend to produce less off springs when they are planted indoors.

Well that’s it for me today. I have to go get a good spot on the daybed.

09/22/12 How to grow stuffies

Some of my pals have been wondering if Coco and I are going to grow stuffies on our New Mexico rancho but I had to inform everyone that I was unable to locate any stuffie seeds on the internet. Then my good pal Hershey said that he thought stuffies could only be grown by planting the old stuffies after they have been killed.

Anyhow, I did some more research on the subject and found the following:

How to grow stuffies – a complete guide for beginners by Duff Parby

Growing your own stuffies can be a wonderful hobby for those of you who have the adequate space and conditions necessary for stuffies to take root. One of the most important things necessary is the appropriate soil as stuffies are temperamental and will not sprout roots in anything but the red sand rock that is commonly found in various regions of New Mexico. This iron rich soil is the only known soil which can nourish and encourage NEW stuffies to produce off springs.

The trick is to plant a new stuffie in this magical soil and wait for the little stuffies to emerge in about 8 weeks. Each new stuffie can usually produce 2 or 5 stuffies per cycle. Ideally one should plant the stuffies in the spring as the temperatures are more suitable for good results. However those of you who desire year round crops of stuffies might want to consider using green houses that have been set up with containers of the New Mexico red sand rock soil.

Anyhow pups, that’s the scoop on growing stuffies. I have lots of red sand rock soil available for a mire $3.99 per gallon, plus $5.99 for shipping and handling (international clients please email me for the appropriate shipping and handling charges).

Also, for those of you who do not have a green thumb or the magical red sand rock soil from New Mexico, I would be happy to grow stuffies for you. Just send your NEW stuffie to me and I will plant it and when the off springs are ready, I will keep one for services rendered and send the rest back to you for your enjoyment. You’re only money charge will be for the appropriate shipping and handling necessary to get the stuffies back to you. These charges will be figured out once I see how many off springs the new stuffie had and what size box they will all fit into.

In the event that the NEW stuffie fails to produce off springs I will communicate the failure to you via Email and if you desire to have the defective stuffie back, I will do so promptly when I received the appropriate shipping and handling charges from you. However, my recommendation regarding stuffies that fail to produce off springs is to just let it stay here and I will make sure it has a proper burial when I am done playing with it – BOL, BOL

Puff Darby

09/18/12 Stuffies and other stuff

Some of my pals have been asking if Coco and I are going to raise stuffies on our New Mexico rancho. Sadly, the answer appears to be NO. I have looked everyplace I can think of to find stuffie seeds that I could plant right next to the lettuce growing in the garden for Arleenton but have not found any.

Also, some have wondered if we were going to harvest MEATZ trees but since Coco and I belong to Zaidie’s MEATZ of the day club, and are very happy with his services, we have elected to pass on growing our own MEATZ. It’s not often one can find a provider like Zaidie who really cares about customer satisfaction. I recommend Zaidie’s MEATZ of the day club to everypup.

Puff Darby

PS – Momma says Zaidie’s Bolka Dwip is also quite good.

09/16/12 I have a riddle for you

What's white with green and brown streaks?

Come on think......

Do you give up???

Puffy after I roll around in the wet grass and just happen to find a pile of poo - BOL BOL BOL BOL

I'm so funny I kill myself.

Oops, I hear the bath tub being filled so I better go hide...

Puffy

09/08/12 Cujo to the rescue

We are back in California now and boy do I have a lot to tell you so get comfortable and let me get started.

We left California early on August 18th with momma driving her Cruiser for more than ten hours to get to New Mexico. Coco and I had to share one travel crate because momma had loaded down her car with packed boxes and pictures that she didn’t want to have daddy take because they were breakable and she wanted to make sure everything made it in one piece. Initially momma placed our travel crate in the front passenger seat until she discovered that it blocked the side view mirror, and then we were moved to the back seat among all of the stuff that she was hauling to New Mexico with us. It wasn’t a very good travel spot because we couldn’t see anything but it would prove to be rewarding when we came across sever lighting and thunder storms while on the road.

We were in the car for many hours but once we arrived in Arizona that’s where all the bad weather started. There was thunder, lighting and torrential rains unlike anything we have ever seen before (not that Coco and I could see them anyways, but we sure could hear them).

Momma said we were on the road for over 10 hours and although we did stop briefly for food and potty breaks, it was really nice once we arrived at our destination and daddy was there waiting for us.

Coco and I got to roam around freely so we sniffed and marked everything we could find until it started raining and we were told to go into the garage/workroom where daddy had set up a new Queen sized bed for the humans and us to share during our visit there. The bed sure was small for the four of us so momma made sure daddy is content with it because HE is the one who is going to be getting that bedroom set and momma and us will be inheriting the California King bed that daddy sleeps on in our current big bedroom – BOL, BOL. Daddy tried to convince momma that even the Queen bed is bigger than the daybed that momma currently sleeps on but momma was not going to be swayed and told daddy that WE are taking the King bed so he better get used to sleeping in a smaller bed – BOL, BOL. Anyhow, I can’t wait to have our BIG bed in our new bedroom in New Mexico. It’s going to be faced towards the French Doors that are in there but unfortunately the view is the Garage/workshop but that’s okay because the outside area will be enclosed with the tall block enclosure which will hopefully keep me and Coco safe from wild animals when momma throws us outside to do our business in the middle of the night. When the earth graders were leveling the site for the house they unearthed several large rocks and momma had them move one of them across from our French doors in the bedroom. Momma says this rock is a perfect size for humans to sit on so she wanted it in our enclosed area (pictures will be posted of Coco and me on the rock after momma down loads all of the pictures).

We did have some entertainment with some of the “helpers” that daddy hired. One day daddy and momma went to Gallup and bought three pallets of concrete which were loaded into daddy’s enclosed hauling trailer. The trip back to our property caused the load to shift and when daddy and his helper went to unload everything, they couldn’t open the door to the trailer to get anything out because the concrete bags were now resting against the only door on the trailer thus preventing the door latch from moving. The humans decided to remove the two wheels on the trailer hoping it would then shift the load back away from the door latch, and that trick worked, but the helper was straddling the trailer hitch and when the concrete shifted away from the door (each bag weighed 80 pounds), the sudden weight change made the whole trailer like a catapult and threw daddy’s helper up in the air and he landed back down on the hitch like a cowboy jumping on a horses saddle – OUCH!!!! He walked around holding his privates saying some very naughty words, but was okay although I suspected he had some nasty bruises on his privates – BOL, BOL.

On another day, daddy had been arguing with a home improvement store in Gallup because he had ordered an expensive bathtub and shower pan needed for the new Master bathroom in New Mexico, and it was supposed to be delivered THE NEXT DAY, but here it was 10 days later and still no bathroom stuff. When he called the home improvement store they gave him a run around and then told him the order was sub-contracted to a secondary delivery source which informed them that everything had already been delivered, which since we did not have the items could not have been true. Anyhow, after going back and forth with them, they conceded that the items had NOT been delivered but would be so the next day.

When the delivery guy showed up the next day all he had was the shower pan but no tub. Do I need to tell you how angry daddy was? Everything was needed so the plumber could do the instillations so we could have the plumbing inspected. Anyhow, the home improvement store had marked the delivery NO SIGNATURE REQUIRED because we were scheduled not to be there and they were making an exception for delivery since the order was not on time. The delivery guy handed daddy the shower pan and then asked daddy to sign stating everything was delivered and daddy refused. The poor delivery guy grabbed the shower pan and tried to wrestle it away from daddy and that’s where I came into the struggle. I saw this strange guy arguing with daddy and I immediately went into my CUJO mode and went after the delivery guy – Yup, ole Puffy came to daddy’s rescue and tried to bite the delivery guy – BOL, BOL. So now we had two adult humans struggling for ownership of the shower pan and one crazed Maltese showing his devotion for his daddy by trying to sink his teeth into the person who is causing his daddy anger. The delivery guy let go of the shower pan and hurried back into his delivery truck and drove away – BOL, BOL. I pranced around like I had won the best of show at a major dog event but poor daddy was quite upset and immediately got back on the phone and called the home improvement store, which by this time was quite tired of the whole thing, and complained some more. This time the home improvement store called the secondary delivery source and complained and was told that the driver HAD the tub on his truck and they would make sure he turned around and delivered it. Turned out the tub was not on his truck but was still at the secondary delivery site as they had forgotten to load it onto the truck. By this time the owner of the secondary delivery site got involved and said that he would personally load the tub onto his private truck and deliver it out to daddy that night. I should tell you that the secondary delivery site was in Albuquerque, which is about 2 hours, one way, from where we are located, so the humans ate dinner and daddy sat outside waiting for the owner of the company to arrive with our tub. He finally arrived in a HUGE delivery truck right before the sun was gone and never said a word about anything except for when he asked how to find his way back to the main road – BOL. The four hour drive in the huge delivery truck with only one tub must have cost the company a pretty penny!

So, now the plumber had everything needed to get his plumbing completed for the inspection that was scheduled for the day after, but I’ll let Coco tell you all about the inspections – okay?

Puffy

09/01/12 I was just doing MY job

It's Saturday and we are still in New Mexico instead of heading back to California like we had planned. Things did not get done like they needed to be so the inspection on the house has been delayed until next week.

Momma and daddy both said I have been a BAD, BAD boy because I tried to bite the plumber today. Actually they should be thanking me because I was only following some of your suggestions which said I should be nip those lazy workers to get them to move - BOL.

Anyways, the plumber showed up today and I went after him. I growled, barked and jumped up his leg and tried to take a chunk out of his thigh. Too bad he was wearing jeans so I couldn't quite get a hold. While I was doing my thing, Coco decided she too didn't like the plumber and she started deep growling at him. You should have seen Coco and me, we were awesome and work together as a team to let the plumber know what we thought about him - BOL, BOL. And do you know what we got for all of our hard work? We are back to being locked up in the nasty ole trailer, so if you will excure me for a minute, I think I'll go piddle on the floor someplace...Maybe afterwards I can head over to Toto's house and "play" with some of his baby chickies, I could use a snack.

Puffy

08/21/12 More on our New Mexico adventure

It's day three of our New Mexico adventure and boy do I have a lot to yap about. The mornings start out nice and sunny with maybe a few scattered clouds peppering the skies. Don't let that fool you though because come the afternoon, the skies blacken and boy does it rain.

Daddy finally got someone to come out and put in the water line trenches that the plumber needed in order to install the pipes, but after the hard rains we had yesterday they are all filled with water so now we have swimming pools - BOL, BOL.

I have been having a grand time here running around and smiling as big as I can because I love it here. I was outside running and didn't pay attention to where I was going and fell across one of the trenches. Momma quickly grabbed me before I fell in.

Coco on the other hand is not enjoying New Mexico too much. With all the rain comes thunder and lighting. You can stand in the doorway and see the lighing come down and immediately the thunder comes right after it, thus indicating it is very close by. Momma put Coco's Thundshirt on her but the it didn't seem to help so finally she put us both in the travel crate and covered it with a towel and that seemed to help her. These rain storms come and go in the afternoon but boy do they drop a lot of water. Our property is currently flooded and momma was asking daddy if he was going to build a boat next - BOL

Anyhow, that's it for now because this I am using daddy's computer so I can't be on it too long.

Puffy

07/30/12 I was a good boy!

Today momma had to drop Coco off at the vet to have Coco’s teeth cleaned and since she was running late she decided not to take me with them. Now all of my pals know I have suffered from separation anxiety for quite some time so I am never left in the house alone without one of my humans or Coco there to keep me company.

When momma was heading out the front door she told Simba Blue, my kitty sibling, to watch over me and keep me out of trouble. I was INSULTED! Why should Simba be in charge of ME?

Anyhow, momma dropped Coco off and then decided to go across the street and do some shopping at Wal-Mart. She left me all by myself for well over two hours and do you know what she found when she came home?

NOTHING – I was super good and didn’t potty anyplace in the house. I took one of my stuffies onto the daybed and laid there with it. When momma got home she looked all over to see if there were any puddles or poop anyplace but she didn’t find anything. I wasn’t frantic or distressed in any manner. Momma said she was very proud of me.

Puffy

07/19/12 My sore knee

I had to go to the vet the other day because I am having a harder time than usual walking. I have been refusing to put my left hind leg on the ground so momma thought it might be related to when daddy cut my nails and made them bleed so when daddy left for New Mexico she took me to the vet just in case I had an infection going on. Turns out that my knee cap is popping out of place and the only fix for this type of ailment is surgery which they can’t do on me because the anesthesia would probably kill me because of my liver failure.

So the vet prescribed some pain medication that isn’t supposed to interfere with liver functions and some joint medication telling momma that my knee cap is very bad and that I will probably be in some pain for the rest of my life. Momma asked the vet if I would end up in a doggy wheelchair and she said I probably won’t get that bad but walking will become an issue. Now don’t go sending me any rosettes and POTP and I’m a tough guy and this isn’t going to get the best of me. I’m still going to follow momma all over the place and when the time comes that I don't want to walk anymore then momma can carry me – BOL, BOL.

Puffy

07/07/12 My toes hurt

Hi pals,

I had a very rough night yesterday all thanks to my humans. It all started when momma asked daddy to help her clip my nails. This alone should have been my cue to run for the hills, but silly ole me thought I was safe when daddy asked momma if she didn’t think HE should clip my nails since he sees better than her.

So daddy went and got his glasses and momma held Coco instead of me telling daddy that the little Princess needed her nails clipped too and since her nails are black there is no way that momma can clip them so daddy did all of her paws without any issues.

Now it was my turn so momma held me while daddy butchered my feet. That’s right pals, for reasons unknown to me daddy made all of my toes on both hind feet bleed. I wanted to shout out to him that maybe he needed new glasses because my nails are white and therefore he should have been able to avoid the bleeding aspect, but nooooo, each toenail was cut too much and I bled.

Momma was in a panic and need I tell you so was I? Daddy got out the septic stuff and tried to stop the bleeding but one nail continued to bleed so momma had to put pressure on it to finally get it to stop. When the butchering of my nails ended, momma took me into the sewing room and took a pair of scissors and trimmed all of the hair off the bottom of the pads of my feet so I won’t be sliding all over the laminate floors.

I must admit I am walking much better on the floors but I could have done without the butchering of my toe nails.

Puffy