January 15th 2010 12:01 pm
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John Grogan, Marley has finally met his match.
Typist used to think that some of the things Sandy did were bad. He used to think that Cinnamon was a challenge. He used to think that Sakura barked too much. Now that my mommy has me, he is suddenly thankful for the low level quirkiness of those three. He appreciates them. Sees them from a different light, even. Because typist has discovered that I am Worlds Worst Dog. I am sweet as can be. I'll give kisses, I'll snuggle and at the end of the day, no one can stay mad at my sweet little face. But during the day, nothing is safe from me. I'll get on the table and take your things. I'll counter surf. I'll steal the cats food. I'll dig in the litter box. On walks, if I see something I want, prepare to be pulled. I am worlds worst dog. After my walk on Tuesday, typist looked at me and said "Meepster, at this point, you only have to do one more insanely, horrible act to beat the late Marley for the title of Worlds worst dog." I bowed my head shamefully, wondering just what having such a title would mean. What if I couldn't keep it?? During my walk that day, I had barked at five strangers for attention, picked up one pine cone, tried to pick up a chicken bone, picked up several leaves, dragged typist when I saw a dog and only behaved when no one was looking. Usually on walks, I'm a good dog. But Tuesday just wasn't my day. Then, on Thursday night, I did that one unthinkable act that made me officially Worlds Worst Dog. Typist left his shoes in the living room, the way he always does. Usually, they're safe. But that night, they weren't. I got a hold of them and completely ruined them. His only pair. He looked me in the eye and said "It's official. You are worlds worst dog." I'm always getting into something. Nothing is safe around me. I have Kongs, I have rope toys, I have squeaky balls. But nothing is better than a shoe, a sock, a knick knack, an important document... Typist keeps saying something about "Training". I don't care much for what he says about training.
What will I get into tonight?
March 3rd 2009 10:13 pm
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I got fixed today. I don't know why my mommy and typist took me to get fixed. I didn't think I was broken. But, they said I had to get fixed. They kept saying a big word. Neutered. Whatever that means. All I know is that I was taken in the big, mean, white machine to the strange building that always smells like dog and cat and left there. I was a-scared. I was shivering and crying. And, when mommy and typist left, I started crying more. But, after I was fixed, I slept the entire time. When I woke up, I had never wagged my tail faster than I did when I seen my mommy. I'm in pain now. I walk funny sometimes to try and prevent the pain. But, I'm okay. I'm home and that's all that matters. So, to all you males who are getting the big snip- don't worry. It isn't all that bad.
At least you get to see your mommys at the end of the day.
And, at least you get to eat again a few hours after you get home!!!!!