CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!

Hellooooooooooooooo diary!

Christmas is coming! I LOVE CHRISTMAS! I love the food, and the presents, and the tree, and the decorations, and the cookies... did I mention the food??

Mama bought me a pretty spike collar, just incase that rascally Bart (cat, don't ask) tries to attack me again. I have to post a picture of it. I LOVE IT! It's buster bad ass, and it's PINK! EVERYONE WILL KNOW I AM A GIRL!!!

OK diary, gotta run, busy holiday season, ya know! :D

WOOO THANKSGIVING ROCKS!

Helloooo Diary!

I had Thanksgiving last Friday - and I dunno about this Black Friday thing, cause I LOVE IT! Mama cooked the BIGGEST, FATTEST TURKEY I have ever seen.. and she cut some of it up for me!!! OOOOOH IT WAS SOOOOO GOOD! Who knew my scrawny mama could make such a good dinner! YOU ARE A GOOD COOK!

I tried to eat some turkey last year, but Grandpa makes turkey jerky.. I don't like it. I spit it on the floor and Grandpa got mad. I'm sorry, but I'm picky!

Thank you, Mama and Daddy, I loved my dinner!

To Grandma and Aunt Becky, I sorry I missed you on Thanksgiving. :( Hope you had some turkey too. I miss you guys :( :( :(.

Well, Christmas is coming, and I must go supervise Mama's cleaning... I think there's a tree or something coming in here... I dunno if I like it yet. BUT I AM GONNA GET SOME PRESENTS! WOOHOOHOO!

Thanksgiving... take two!

Dear Diary,

Ohhh.. it is Thanksgiving again.. and mama and daddy are working again... no cooking this year... no food this year... I smelled a turkey in the grocery bag mama brought home this mornin... I HAD BETTER GET A MEAL OUTTA THIS!

They put me on DIET dog food. Mama says I'm too big for my britches. I say.. HMMPH. Eat a cheeseburger, Ms. Scrawny. I LOVE THE DIET DOG FOOD. So I eat MORE of it. It's diet, right?? I am not fat, I am big boned. Kinda like that round guy on South Park. Cartman I think.

Anyway.. I will update on Turkey Day... I hope it's better than last year!

PS... NO DAWSON TODAY! UGH!

OOOH I'm mad as HELL!

What the HELL! They messed up my schedule!!! Dawson isn't on at 10am anymore! This means that I must arise at the UNGODLY hour of 9am - only to be dissapointed that there is only ONE HOUR of Dawson on. I am mortified. What am I to do?

I KNOW!!!! -

Daddy, you MUST buy me Dawson's Creek on DVD. All 5 seasons. NOW. I need to watch it. It's my routine! You know I don't handle change well. So, MISTER, take care of it.

OK. I feel better. I like my new Coach collar. Thank you, Daddy!

By the way - DAD - thanks for going away, and making Mama MISERABLE. She misses you, and is being unbearable. I can't take her crap much longer, she's cramping my style, so you'd better come home soon. OK. I must go rest. Too much excitement makes me cranky.

I'm sorry!

I am so sorry I haven't written, dear diary! I have been very busy with SUMMER! I have spent LOTS of time at Grandma's! I LOVE the beach - in fact I did NOT want to come home!!

I just wanted to tell you that all is well - ALL WOULD BE BETTER IF MAMA WOULD GIVE ME THAT BIG BALL! (She bought a ball to do exercise with - I THOUGHT it was for ME - but she HID it in the CLOSET!) So, anyway, I laid in front of the closet door forever, and she DIDN'T GIVE IT TO ME. I WANT IT. Got it, Mama? That's for ME!

I am happy to say that we leave for Grandma's on Monday! I can't wait! Well, I must go. Daddy wants the computer!

OOH It's SUMMER!

I just came back from vacationing at our beach home.. heh.. Sorry, diary, I just wanted to sound like a snob :)

ANYWAY... We just got back from Grandma's. I got to hang out by the pool, and play in the yard, and dip my tootsies in the pool ALL WEEKEND. I got to watch Grandmom when she was out in the yard. I protected her! I even fell asleep under her chair. Aunt Becky even took me to CUSTARD HUT! OOH I LOVE LOVE LOVE that Aunt Becky! She's sooooo good to me! (I was even on my best behavior when we went there. I let the kids pet me and the nice old guy feed me his cone. By the way, I sorry old guy, I didn't mean to make you cry. I saw your eyes gettin all watery when you looked at me. I know you must miss your bullie. I sorry I look like her - but she's in a better place now, and she still loves you!)

I heard a rumor that Grandpa bought a boat. I hope I get to go on it. Mommy says she needs to buy me a life preserver first. I don't swim so well.

OH DIARY, this weekend was GREAT. Even that Trooper doesn't bother me so much. He's pretty cool, actually. I don't think I want to hang out with him, but I can tolerate him being in the vicinity, but not in the same room. I think he's gettin less scared of me though.. he hung around the whole time I was here, even coming in at night to sleep, and a few times during the day for food. I'm glad though. I used to feel bad when he ran away when I visited. I thought maybe I smelled.

Well, I just wanted to log the events of my weekend. I think I'm gonna sleep for a WEEK.

OOH.. I almost forgot, I love you too Grandma! I sorry I jumped on you while you were laying on the couch. I was so excited to see you!

UGH. I'm lonely tonight :(

Oh Diary... Mommy AND Daddy are workin tonight. I miss them. In fact, I was so mad when Daddy left for work that I PEED on the floor. YUP. I did it. 'Cause I knew Mommy was leavin next. She had her uniform on. Daddy not playin Policeman tonight though, cause he didn't play LIGHT with me before he left. I think he's playing Paramedic with Mommy. I hope they use this extra money for TREATS for me. I deserve them. AND I deserve some DAIRY QUEEN... GOT THAT DADDY? BUY ME DAIRY QUEEN TOMORROW.

I hope someone comes home soon. I need hugs and kisses and pets. AND EATS. EATS. EATS. I been watchin the food network all night, and I AM HUNGRY. OK. I'd better get off the puter before Daddy gets mad. He says I drool all over the keyboard. I sorry, Daddy. I WUF YOU!

Ugh.. More RAIN.

Dear Diary,

I am writing to tell you, I AM NOT HAPPY. I am tired of all this rain!! I want it to be sunny out so Mommy is happy (and tan - WOW is she ghostie white)! She's not been smiling too much lately. I think it's cause it's always cold and rainy outside, and because she needs to eat a cheeseburger with an ice cream chaser.

ANYWAY, I would like to take this opportunity to say THANK YOU to the nice man that Mommy works with - his name is Lenny, and he is an EMT where Mommy works. I say he drives Miss LAZY, but anyway... he sent me home an EN-COR chicken parm dinner.. I've been eating it for two days now... it's fabulous! I like it more than double cheeseburgers from McD's!!! THANK YOU Mr. Lenny! You're the best! By the way, Mr. Lenny - you need to eat a cheeseburger too. and TWO scoops of ice cream! :) :) :) :)

and WOO HOO HOO! I finally got my bed back. I stole the Ralph Lauren down comforter....Mama put it on the floor to take to the cleaners and I TOOK IT. HA! It's mine! hehehehe... I gonna go lay on it. and FART so Mommy will NEVER put it back on the bed! hehehehe

OOOH! I love AUNT BECKY!

OOH! Aunt Becky came to see ME yesterday! AND she stayed OVERNIGHT! I love love LOVE Aunt Becky! She plays with me, and hugs me, and kisses me.. and tells me that she loves me! (not that Mommy and Daddy don't do that, but sometimes it's nice to hear it from someone else!)

I even got to sleep with her on the COUCH! I think Mommy was jealous though, cause I left her all alone. Daddy was working. I sorry, Mommy. You know I love you!

Anyway, I have the whole place to MYSELF tonight. I am gonna take up the WHOLE BED. I waitin for Mommy & Daddy to come home from work. I miss them.

I HATE RAIN! and I think Mommy is MAD!

Dear, Dear, Diary, I must tell you I hate the rain. Almost as much as I hate the vacuum cleaner. I don't like it. It drips on my wrinkles and slides down my face, and makes me mad! I won't walk outside in it. I can't walk in the woods in the rain, and Mommy wipes my paws off when we come in... Heaven forbid if I get dirt on her white carpet.

I was terrible today. Mommy came home from work and I kept pouncing and laying on her in bed. I kept licking her face until she covered it up, then I licked her pillow, and laid on top of her. I'm almost as big as she is, I think. She's skinny - maybe she needs to take some eating pointers from me. She's too damn picky. Anyway, I think she was mad though, cause she yelled at me in a really loud voice. I think she wanted to sleep. She worked last night, and so did Daddy, and I slept on the couch ALL NIGHT LONG!!! She wouldn't even play with me when she came home! She went in the bathroom, washed her face, and went right to bed! The NERVE. Well, she did take me out first. I was good and didn't pee on the carpet for 14 whole hours. Of course, peeing on the floor would have meant that I had to get up off of the couch. There was no food involved, so I wasn't moving. Well, Mommy and Daddy are both at work again. At least they're both off for the next few nights.... we need some quality time. OK.. I think Mommy put Dawson's Creek in the DVD player for me... I'm gonna go watch it... I think there's some cheez-it's on the coffee table. :)