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Black Pearls of Wisdom...

(Page 6 of 16: Viewing Diary Entry 51 to 60)  
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My Ball and Chain

November 5th 2009 5:20 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 6 people already have ]

So Burt and I have been going to training class at PetsMart. Every Sunday afternoon. For an hour. With our trainer, Trixie ;) Last week was unbelievable. The Mom and the Dad brought this thing called a "coupler". I heard them tell Trixie that they hadn't used it in nine years--since Perky went to the Bridge. Seems they would "couple" Remo and Perky together to slow Remo down on their walks.

Trixie had the big idea to "couple" my brother Burt's harness to my harness so he would feel more secure with me right next to him. I tell ya, what a pain in the back!!! Trixie would say "come Dixie", and me, being the star that I am, would immediately try to come. But this 50 lb furry weight of a brother wouldn't move. I had to drag him several feet until he got the idea and got off his butt.

When he got the idea though, there was no stoppin' him. He dragged me ALL OVER! Up and down the aisles. Quick turns. Plowing through crowds. Careening around corners. Bouncing off displays. He was UNSTOPPABLE! And they thought this was a GOOD idea???


Lucky He Didn't Flood the Engine.

October 27th 2009 4:16 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 4 people already have ]

Ok, so my goofy brother Burt is a big chicken. He likes to ride on the front floor of the Jeep where the passenger sits. He misses seeing all the sights as we drive around. His loss--my gain. That way I have the entire back of the Jeep to myself. Works for me!

So, today after our walk at the park, the Mom drove to the grocery store. She needed to run in real quick and buy us some skinless, boneless chicken breast. (we are soooooooo spoiled :D ) When the Mom came out of the store she saw that the Jeep's tailights were on. She didn't remember leaving the lights on. When the Mom got to the car and opened the door she found Burt on the DRIVER's side floor underneath the steering wheel. He had his big bootay up against the brake pedal!!!! Silly Burt. The Mom said we were lucky Burt didn't flood the engine...


I Love a Parade... NOT!

October 26th 2009 2:58 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 2 people already have ]

So today the Mom got up and found it was raining. But not hard rain. So she said we could still go to the park if we wore our coats. Great! Danced around and made a pain of myself while the Mom tried to put my coat on me. Finally got Burt and I dressed and loaded up in the Jeep. Off we went.

Got to my park. Jumped out of the Jeep and heard THUMP THUMP THUMP DA-BUMP, BUMPITY THUMP THUMP!!! Now, you all know I am NOT a fan of loud noises like thunder, fireworks, gunshots. What was at the other end of the block rounding the corner? A PARADE!!! With DRUMS!!!! And cars with High School football players hanging out of the windows BLOWING THEIR HORNS!!!!! And kids carrying big banners. And lots of hoopin' and hollerin'.

Needless to say, we cut our walk short.


Good Fences Make Good Neighbors

October 22nd 2009 10:16 am
[ Leave A Comment | 7 people already have ]

Well, after yesterday's excitement, the Mom's decided to get a security fence. More and more homeowners are getting them in our neighborhood. We have sidewalks and a parkway here in Chicago (you can see our setup in some of the pictures on our pages--there is a pic of WINston that shows our neighbor's fence).

Neighbors put up a 6' decorative iron or steel fence right at the edge of the sidewalk--the sidewalk and the parkway remain as is, but then the area from the sidewalk to the house is enclosed in a fence that has a key-locked gate. The mailbox is attached or is built into the fence next to the gate.

No more solicitors coming up the walk, Church people knocking on your door at 8 a.m. trying to convert you (the Mom works 2nd shift, and is trying to sleep, thank you very much), pizza flyers taped to the door or mailmen encroaching on MY turf! That way, if we burst out of the house before the Mom is ready, we'll be safely contained. Costs a little money, but cheaper than a lawsuit.


I Scared the Mailman...

October 21st 2009 5:06 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 15 people already have ] he pepper-sprayed me. It wasn't my fault. The Mom takes Burt and I to the park every afternoon before she leaves for work. The park we go to now is about a mile from our house. So we drive in the Jeep. Usually the Mom unlocks the Jeep while we're still in the house then opens the screen door and we run right to it and hop in.

Well. Yesterday the Mom was "having words" with the Boy and not paying attention. She unlocked the Jeep with the remote and then opened the screen door WITHOUT LOOKING OUTSIDE!!! BAD MOMMY!!!! Burt and I blasted out and the mailman was coming up our walk!!!!!!!!!!! Burt froze on the porch in fear and I, of course, charged the mailman barking my head off! So, he sprayed me. Right in the eye. It was NOT fun.

The Boy pulled me back inside while the Mom tried to apologize to the mailman. He wasn't having any part of her apology and was quite nasty to the Mom. He told her he saw her WALKING us all the time without a leash. The Mom NEVER walks us without a leash, but she is guilty of getting us in and out of the car without one. Never again though. Never, ever, EVER again.

I didn't bite the mailman. I just scared him. But he made the Mom cry. Maybe I should have nibbled on him...just a little.


I Did Sit, Paw, Down and Come

October 18th 2009 7:35 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 5 people already have ]

I was a STAR. Of course. Turns out that our trainer, Trixie, is just going to train Burt and me during our hour every Sunday. She took us out of the store, back into the receiving area. Much less noise, much less distraction. Trixie worked with me, then tried to work with Burt. No go on Burt. But he still got a deep tissue massage out of the deal. And almost fell asleep while I was working with Trixie. He was so comfortable and relaxed. Which I guess is something. Trixie took me out into the store. I was a good girl. Good come. Good sit. Good paw. Good down. (told ya I'd rock the class) ;)


Having a Little Brother

October 16th 2009 7:34 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 1 person already has ]

is a pain. In the neck. In the butt. In the side. The Burt Infestation decided to take over the daybed again. So, just so he remembers I am QUEEN OF ALL THINGS, I climbed up on top of the pillows. Right up over him. Almost on top of him. Just so he remembers. :D

(Dixie's Mom here. Dixie's been playing all big and bad with Burt, but today she let him sit up next to her on the front seat on the way home from the park. It was a tight fit, but no growls from Dixie. She did, however, keep her face turned forward and wouldn't acknowledge me OR Burt. She IS the Queen of All Things!)


Burt is a Big Baby

October 14th 2009 8:14 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 4 people already have ]

He really, really is. Not only does Burt get to sleep next to the Mom on the big bed and I sleep on the floor so he doesn't kick me in the head, now he's whining over every little thing. And the pawrents are falling for it. They're all over Burt. Petting him. Talking baby-talk to him. Giving him treats. Buying him a new dog bed so he has one in the living room and one in the spare room. Buying Burt a fancy, schmancy dog coat. (to be fair, I got a new one too, but it was only when they couldn't find my old one). I'm not falling for it. Nope. No way. No how. Burt's not gonna get me with those big brown puppydog eyes. (though if he SHARES the treats, I just might cut him some slack... )


Doc Scared the Mom

October 13th 2009 5:37 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 3 people already have ]

Doc scared the Mom today. Burt went in to see Dr. Mullings for a recheck on his ears. They are better. But the vet said "I didn't get a chance to talk to you last week about Dixie's xrays. Let me go get them..." dum da DUM dum DUH

Turns out, nothing super bad. I am starting to show a little arthritis between two vertebrae in my lower back. So Doc wants me to start taking Cosequin. No biggy, but we have to watch my allergies. The Mom is worried now that we finally got things under control with the Z/D we're gonna mess it up with some of the ingredients in the Cosequin. We'll see, I guess...


My Trainer's Name

October 11th 2009 3:51 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 5 people already have ]

is TRIXIE! Don't cha just LOVE it? Trixie and Dixie! That in itself almost makes going to class worth it. I will be the star of the class. I already know sit, give paw, sit UP, and I do an ok stay. I don't, however, do "down". So that will be my challenge. That and being friendly to big dogs. I like little dogs very much (as long as they don't lick my face). But big dogs, not so much. So I am going to work on my "socialization" skills. I will still be a Diva. No matter what!

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