my life with my mommie, by droopy

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one year

September 18th 2012 1:50 am
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dear droopy.. last year on this day you would be right beside me... never would we know that tomorrow our lives were to be changed forever. sept. 19 is when you took your first seizure...out of nowhere we went from laughing to tears, disbelief, shock and fear! in one split moment everything changed.. and nothing would ever be the same again..how could it?? when you lose your best friend, your SOULMATE, you lose your heart.and droopy, after three days of trying & watching you struggle...i lost my heart...the day God took you home droopy, my heart followed you..people that saw us together could see the bond we had..it was very special & very strong.. you gave me not only happiness droopy, but it was a deep, true from your heart happiness. i didn't just smile, i truly felt happiness. you gave that to me droopy
you brought happiness & love back into my life.. you brought a warmth into my heart, my soul..you are such a special pup, droopy..a very special girl... i still can't believe this happened.. i still hope to wake up from this nightmare..but it just keeps going on..
today, tommorow, thursday... friday, the day i had to make the most painful, hurtful decision of my life.. oh god droopy, I MISS YOU!
i don't know if i can get through this.. but i know i have to make you proud droopy.. i have to make you proud..I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DROOPY!
i'll be back later.. i'll share our special story with all our pals later... my droopy, my beautiful brown-eyed girl, mommie LOVES YOU & MISSES YOU SO MUCH!! I WILL FOREVER DROOPY!!!!

 

I MISS YOU!

August 30th 2012 7:15 pm
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If i could have ONE lifetime wish, ONE dream that would come true..
I would pray to God with all my heart...for YESTERDAY and for YOU.
A thousand words, a million tears, Can't bring you back.
You left behind my broken heart,and happy memories too..
But i never wanted memories..I only wanted you.
So quietly today and everyday, Your memory i treasure
Thinking of you Always and LOVING YOU FOREVER...

I miss you SO much droopy.. words can't ever tell how much i truly & deeply hurt inside.. i just wanted you to know how much mommie misses you & how much i LOVE YOU! FOREVER DROOPY! I will LOVE YOU FOREVER!
my heart hurts so much..
i need to try & sleep now honey.. i'll see you in my dreams..
I LOVE YOU DROOPY! ALWAYS, mommieJosh Groban - To Where You Are

 

to my beautiful droopy

August 7th 2012 6:18 am
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good morning my sweet girl.. i just wanted to say i love you! i know i tell you everyday how much i love you & miss you, but i just wanted to talk a bit. i've been thinking alot of how just last year at this time we were together & it just doesn't seem real that you are gone now..
i can remember things we did so clearly & i can see you so clearly that i feel like i can touch you. i heard this song the other day at work that just made me fal apart.. i didn't care who saw me cry, didn't care what they thought,the pain was so intense inside me that i could not hide it. i've heard the song many times, but that day, it really hit me. i went home, sat in front of your memorial & talked to you.. if only i could have one more day, just one day to spend completely with you. just me & you. no phone, no tv, nothing...
we'd play, go for a walk on your favorite trail, a ride just anywhere, you loved to go for rides...i'd make us your favorite dinner & we'd just snuggle on the couch & then go to bed & i would hold you all night. whispering how much i love you. but like the song says, if i had that one more day with you, it would leave me wishing still for yet one more and then one more....it would never end, because one more day would not be enough. but i wish i could just see you, if only for a minute, just to see you, look into your beautiful brown eyes & know you are alright. i miss you so much droopy. its horrible & i feel horrible inside. i pray you know how much i love you still & ALWAYS, ALWAYS WILL LOVE YOU! i'm sure you know that, but still i pray.
i'm trying not to be sad for you droopy, i know how you hated to see me cry, but its hard scootercrunch. i've been calling your name more & missing you so much! time may help to ease the pain for some, but for me, all time is doing is making this pain grow stronger..i mostly keep it to myself these days. i'm sure some are tired of hearing about it.
i know you have so many wonderful friends here at dogster that understand, but still, i try to just keep it inside me..until my heart can't hold anymore & i break down & sob for hours..then slowy my heart starts to fill back up with pain again. most days i am just numb inside, but i've gotten pretty good at hiding it, unless i'm alone...
i never could hide my feelings from you though.. you always knew just how i felt.. you were that smart, that wonderful & that loving !
well my sweet girl, guess i better get going. you have a good day! go run & play with all your many angel pals! just remember to rest & stop by the pond to get a drink, o.k. you loved to play, oh how you were so full of life! your heart was so warm & loving!
oh droopy, HOW I MISS YOU!!! I LOVE YOU WITH EVERY PART OF MY VERY SOUL! i will never stop missing you until i have you in my arms again & see those beautiful brown eyes of yours! i will NEVER STOP LOVING YOU DROOPY, NEVER! talk to u soon, my scootercrunch, love mommie
I LOVE YOU DROOPY, FOREVER & ALWAYS!

 

dear droopy

July 20th 2012 5:53 pm
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i am missing you so much tonight! all i want to say... no other words are needed..this pain in my heart & my tears say it all.. i love you sweetheart! I JUST LOVE YOU..furver & always, mommie

 

i miss you droopy

July 17th 2012 7:18 am
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i was looking at all the beautiful stars & gifts your wonderful friends put on your page droopy.. i have to say i have tears pouring from my eyes. all the beautiful things that your friends said about you after you went to the bridge just touch my heart so deeply. you truly are loved here at dogster & that makes me so happy! i don't know why i was reading them over again, maybe because its getting close to the one year mark of your passing & i just can't believe it.. i still have not accepted this & my heart hurts, i think even more, than that horrible day. there are times i still call out your name, then i stop and just fall apart. although i sit here crying, i also smile, just a bit, through the tears, reading all the beautiful things your friends have said about you . reading how much they all love you & how your beautiful smile & love of life made them smile. and that my sweet droopy, gives me one more reason to be so proud to be your mommie. you brought so much love & happiness to so many pals here. and they loved you so much & they STILL & will forever love you! just like i will, scootercrunch! i will NEVER stop missing you & i will NEVER stop loving you, no matter how much time goes by. for no matter what goes on in my life, my heart will always remain broken. it will never be whole again until i have my arms around you & i look into those big, beautiful brown eyes & see that love that i so very much miss.
i have to go now droopy. just remember wherever i am, whatever i'm doing you are always with me! I LOVE YOU SCOOTERCRUNCH! mommie

 

I miss you droopy

July 9th 2012 6:33 pm
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hello my sweet scootercrunch.. i don't want to upset you, but i just didn't have a good day.. it just did not go like i planed..i kept lookin at your picture & i just sat there with tears running down my face & wondering, WHY?? thinking how just last year at this very time you were with me..memories flooded my mind...i could see you so good, us playing ball, you sittin on the porch..i could see you in the car, with your head out the window & smiling from ear to ear.. i could picture you laying on the couch beside me, your head on my lap, i saw you sitting beside me while i had supper, spit bubbles hanging off your beautiful chompers, lol. and then i saw you fall.. i saw that horrible day again like it happened all over.. the scared look on your face.. dear god, i'll never forget that look.. i tryed to help you droopy..i'm so sorry this happened to you.. i pray you are not scared anymore. it was just me & you, we only had each other & well, we kinda kept to ourselves, so i hope you're not scared without me.. i wish i could just see you, just look up into the clouds & see you running , playing with the other angels & i wish i could see that big, beautiful smile again.. just to rest my mind that i knew for sure you were o.k.
this pain is so horrible droopy... i set out to get some things done today & i just didn't...i just, i don't know, i just can't face that you are gone.. it came out of nowhere & happened so fast.. i'm sorry, my body, my mind, my heart & my soul just shattered on that day.. my whole world just flipped over..i felt like everything was in slow motion.. most days i still feel that way..i miss you so deeply droopy
i thank you for rascal, i do... and i love her very much..we play & she does make me smile, she is truly a blessing from you droopy, i believe that.. she hates to see me cry..just like you did & she will kiss my tears everytime ..
but i feel so empty inside that i fear i will never truly feel happy again...and a part of me is o.k. with that.. how could i ever be happy again without you??? i can fake pretty good..but when i'm home i just sob.. A dear friend sent me a couple books on dealing with grief after losing a pet.. i should say after losing a pet that was your dearest best friend, your family, a part of your very being...i'm reading them & i'm trying..but this pain, this pain is so deep inside me..unlike anything i ever felt before..oh droopy, you are my love and i just miss you so much!!! this just sucks.. i'm sorry, it just does..
so many wonderful memories & i try to smile when i think of them..i try to honor your memory & everything about you.. i try to "celebrate" your life instead of mourning your passing, like so many tell me to do...but its not that easy..my emotions just go crazy..
bottom line is plain & simple...I MISS YOU SO MUCH !! IT HURTS! IT SUCKS! I LOVE YOU, OH HOW I LOVE YOU DROOPY! i will love you forever, my beautiful brown-eyed girl! i hope this doesn't upset you to much.. i just needed to get this out of me.. droopy, you were always my sweet angel & you always & furever will be the best gift i ever recieved in my life.. i'll miss you forever until the day i get to hold you again..
droopy i'll love you, love you more & more with every new day, every breath, every tear, every pain in my heart.. every sweet, beautiful memory i will love you & i will miss you.. until the day i can hold you again, look into your beautiful eyes, see that precious smile, i will miss you & suffer an endless pain inside my heart..
you are my sweet pumpkin, never forget how much mommie loves you droopy! you were the only thing in my life that was right.. you were every breath i took...and when i looked into your eyes i saw love, pure, complete & true love.. and it was for me, something i never felt before you droopy..i pray you saw that same deep love in my eyes too.
oh god how i MISS YOU!!! just remember that i'll always love you scootercrunch!! you will always be my big puppy!
mommie loves you & misses you so much! goodnight sweetheart.. i'll see you in my dreams... just like i do everynight.

Somewhere Out There By Linda Ronstadt & James Igram w/ lyrics

 

my mommie

June 23rd 2012 5:43 pm
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hi pals... my mommie is just not doing great tonight.. her misses me everyday..but tonight..well mommie is really bad.. her just keeps crying & crying..mommie just can't even type anymore.. i guess its just a really bad night for my mommie..

 

i miss you

June 23rd 2012 3:30 pm
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I MISS YOU DROOPY!! i just miss you! the tears keep falling..i never thought i could cry so much, could weep so much..could SOB so much.,,
but i can..i do everyday, every second..my heart is lost, it went away with you droopy..until i find you again, it will remain lost..

 

my dear droopy

June 8th 2012 6:17 pm
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on angel wings you do fly...
on angel wings into the sky...
on angel wings i DO CRY...
because those angel wings took you away...
on angel wings you fly away
i pray i see your angel wings again one day..
when my time has come
on angel wings i will fly..
until i'm holding you once again
smiling on angel wings...

YOU & ME DROOPY... a bond that never will be broken
a bond that was the truest ever spoken
a bond so strong & deep
i long for back in my sleep...
a bond still strong within my heart
even though we are apart..
a pain still aches inside me deep
it pours out of me in the tears i weep..
i long to touch your fur
i ache to hold you once more..
but know this droopy
you'll forever be mommies girl...

thursday marks nine months since we had to say good-bye, droopy.
although i might smile & laugh at times, deep inside the pain of losing you so sudden still fills my heart. there is no amount of time that will ever help me heal. for deep inside i just can't accept what happened. i know you are happy & healthy, running & playing with so many new friends.. chasing balls & butterflies through the beautiful meadows at the bridge..if i close my eyes i can picture you, your big beautiful smile & big brown eyes & i sometimes reach my hand out, thinking i can feel you.. you are my love droopy. the friendship & love you gave me still runs deep in my heart & soul. forever & always
your love will live inside me. your memory , OUR MEMORIES, can never be taken from me. i'm trying droopy to make you proud of me, mommie is. but it just hurts so much. I HURT SO MUCH & sometimes i don't do very well & i want you to know i'm sorry. but just know droopy, that mommie will keep trying. you & me droopy will always have a very special bond. mommie misses you deeply & loves you oh so much!
you'll always be my one & only scootercrunch!
i love you droopy, mommie
Shania Twain Forever and for Always Live

 

my sweet droopy

May 29th 2012 6:54 pm
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hello my sweet love.. i'm realy missing you super bad tonight.. i miss you everyday..just tonight.. i'm missin you extra super bad...
i put a new song on your playlist..bridge over troubled water..
you know why?? because you were my bridge & i was the troubled water.
you surrounded me with your love droopy.. you saved me from so much despair & sadness...and darkness. i will never forget how you saved me droopy.. how you turned my life around.. how you filled my empty heart with warmth, happiness & love.. you gave me so much love.. you were the friend i always dreamed of...no matter what.. you never gave up on me.. even in my darkest moments, you stood right beside me.. you would lay beside me in bed when i was in so much pain & you would comfort me.. you never left my side.. and that true love of yours is what made me finally pick myself up & turn my life around.. you took my pain away..i will always be ever grateful to you, my sweet scootercrunch..
no words can ever describe my gratitude to you for all you have done for me.. droopy, I LOVE YOU.. if not for you & your sweet love.. chances are i would not be here.. how do you say a simple "thank you" to the one who truly saved your life..??? is that enough to say???
no.. its not...but right now.. thats all i have.. but i want you to know droopy.. those words, "thank you", are FILLED WITH SO MUCH LOVE!!
i would not be the person i am today if not for you..oh, i'm still far from being perfect... but.. now i have a heart...thank you droopy..
i love you & miss you deeply!! i will forever & you will live in my memories & my heart forever!! god bless you my sweet scootercrunch!!
thank you for looking down on me & keeping me in line..only for you droopy...i will not let you down..time to call it a night now honey..please remember how much mommie loves you & how deeply i miss you!! my heart will never heal.. your loss was a shock that i will never get over..this pain inside me will last till the day i see you again..I LOVE YOU DROOPY!! you are now & forever will be my true love!goodnight my dear love...I LOVE YOU PUMPKIN!! and...THANK YOU, THANK YOU DROOPY!!! David Kersh - Goodnight Sweetheart

 
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Droopy, Forever in my heart


 

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